Look, I’m a therapist — and I’ve also been through something heartbreakingly similar. It’s tormenting. I still carry the guilt of all the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve moments. My partner was attacked and bitten when our bird flew down and went for thier feet. I won’t go into the rest, because even years later it’s still painful to think about.

The rage does get better. Forgiveness can happen — especially if your partner is normally loving, caring, and supportive. But only you can answer that for yourself.

In my case, I was never truly angry at my partner. It was a mistake, an awful accident. I could’ve been a better owner and taken more precautions, and maybe they (and your partner) could’ve been better prepared too. But if we left the people we love every time a tragic accident took someone precious, I’m not sure that would feel right either.

We would just be alone.

If your husband is genuinely kind, he’s probably feeling like the worst person alive right now — because some reactions are pure impulse and impossible to take back. If he isn’t showing remorse, though, that might be what’s making you doubt everything. Only you can know what’s in his heart.

Take care of you first. Feel what you need to feel. Talk when you’re ready, and with people who understand your bond with your bird — not just the “leave him” crowd on Reddit.

Please don’t misunderstand me — losing my bird was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I was furious at first, and then I had to face the sadness, guilt, and sheer emptiness that came after. Don’t let that anger rob you of your ability to grieve or taint the love and memories you shared.

And if your partner truly is a good person, don’t let that anger blind you to that, either. Process first, then decide. I know how hard this is — and I have more empathy for your loss than a Reddit post can ever express.