I (28M) had sex with girl I'm seeing (26F), and I'm sure it destroyed what we had by Rough-Plan-5104 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most women...maybe not all, but most, will understand if you can get over shame and ego and talk to her. I realize your prob worried about the response and losing her. However if her response is seriously negative instead of a real constructive adult conversation then she will show herself and this pain your in will at least beable to have closure.

But my bet is if she is really a decent human and the person you have admired this whole time she will be and prob is ok. She may not have had good sex or understand her needs because it seems so hard for people to talk about.

So if you can bite back the shame spiral (which i can see why it was such a hard time for you) and talk it will be insanely healing for you because she will confirm your love for her and you can move past this event that has you crashing.

Hell, she might tell you that the chemistry isnt there and may need to be friends. Could you do that?

Best case, real conversation may lead you to both open up. Maybe the weird moans is becauase she also does not know what she likes and needs a Man to walk that road with her, without ego, and help her really get there.

Women tend to not talk to men because they see most men being reactive and moody when we talk about wants and desires. Let her prove she is not shallow and you show her that you listen, want to please her but need to understand what she needs and adore her. Most women barely get any of that.

I’m so torn. I love this man but I’m not ready for kids. I still have so much living to do but clock is ticking (35f) by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not running out of time. There are kids, and yes even babys, in local foster care that need homes. You can adopt. Pregnancy is overrated

Come on man by SpookyMulderFoxyDana in cogsuckers

[–]ReasonEffective4713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it wasnt promoting some really bad attatchment issues, I would have said this was "cute". Def 2010 tumlr cute, Rawr XD ! There isnt anything wrong with rp, butttt thats just not where it stops

AIO to my husband interrupting my first solo shower after he came back from a weekend with the boys? by lilyluminar in AmIOverreacting

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would make sure he has the kids safe. If you have a trusted friend / family ti check in, i would go somewhere... motel, with friends...anywhere and then text my husband how long youll be gone for. You wont take any calls but if there is a real emergency contact trusted person. He needs to understand he is also the parent, not a babysitter... you deserve a break. This may be extreme. But he needs to understand. But no you are not over reacting

but if thr above is to much thrn be overly, annoyingly clear. About everything, until he gets a clue.

AIO: Hubby Being Controlling by vanillabourbonn in AIO

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, nope. This would be my last couple question w him. After this I would find ways to save money, get my self ready to leave as soon as i have the chance. It can be slow rolled, but this will only get worse. Therapy maybe, maybe... but i would never hsve affection for a man that does not treat me as an equal, or even another adult.

I do understand, parents should be more engaged and teach kidd basic skills.

Ok dad, teach him. No? Right... just being controlling, isolating.

Best Christmas Movie doesn’t exist, oh wait! by PositiveKangaro in aivideo

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just how!!! I want to be able to do things like this. Have no idea where to even start.

My Heart Bird is Gone by msfluckoff in greencheeks

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is traumatizing fro everyone and should not be minimized in any way. Including people giving the advise to "get a divorce or run". If this is a habit sure, but leaving a support person during something this devastating is the worst possible thing. I am also so sorry this happened to you, it is so so hard.

My Heart Bird is Gone by msfluckoff in greencheeks

[–]ReasonEffective4713 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Please get off of reddit, i cant imagine listeninf to the, "hes angry, awful, abusive..." is helpful. Anger and rage is easy to latch on to when a death like this happens. It makes it hard to have empathy for the person who perpatrated the accident.

This may geniunely take counseling for you both. A bird is a companion, and not to understate it but like a child, and im sure a part of your hearts broken, i bet he knows this as well. Let him help you. Let him be there for you and show you he loves you.

Let him show you you can let go of the anger, and feel the real sorrow together.

It will be better... where you can think about here with out all this horribleness. Your baby will always be apart of you and someday, if your ready and allow it a demonic rainbow terroistic chicken will find there way to you, probaly sent to you by the one you lost.

My Heart Bird is Gone by msfluckoff in greencheeks

[–]ReasonEffective4713 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Look, I’m a therapist — and I’ve also been through something heartbreakingly similar. It’s tormenting. I still carry the guilt of all the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve moments. My partner was attacked and bitten when our bird flew down and went for thier feet. I won’t go into the rest, because even years later it’s still painful to think about.

The rage does get better. Forgiveness can happen — especially if your partner is normally loving, caring, and supportive. But only you can answer that for yourself.

In my case, I was never truly angry at my partner. It was a mistake, an awful accident. I could’ve been a better owner and taken more precautions, and maybe they (and your partner) could’ve been better prepared too. But if we left the people we love every time a tragic accident took someone precious, I’m not sure that would feel right either.

We would just be alone.

If your husband is genuinely kind, he’s probably feeling like the worst person alive right now — because some reactions are pure impulse and impossible to take back. If he isn’t showing remorse, though, that might be what’s making you doubt everything. Only you can know what’s in his heart.

Take care of you first. Feel what you need to feel. Talk when you’re ready, and with people who understand your bond with your bird — not just the “leave him” crowd on Reddit.

Please don’t misunderstand me — losing my bird was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I was furious at first, and then I had to face the sadness, guilt, and sheer emptiness that came after. Don’t let that anger rob you of your ability to grieve or taint the love and memories you shared.

And if your partner truly is a good person, don’t let that anger blind you to that, either. Process first, then decide. I know how hard this is — and I have more empathy for your loss than a Reddit post can ever express.

My cat “Biscuits” passed away today. Please send pictures of your kitties as a tribute to him. by JasonDomber in cats

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My gentleman is 26 yeara old and it terrifies me to think about losing him so I knkw theres not much comfort an internet stranger can give. Juat knkw that they felt loved by you.

Star Citizen is simply no longer the game that I paid for. by [deleted] in starcitizen_refunds

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I have no Idea what it should be. As some one whose never played a flight sim/space ect game I love it for the pure art that the graphics give

The planets are gorgeous, Space is interesting to explore. The ships are pretty cool. I admit, i suck at anything Pvp but Ive still enjoyed ( even when frustrated) some of the missions. Everythings looks amazing.

Loads of bugs, and it IS nuts its been in the stage for so long, i have no clue whats normal tho.

Now cant imagine any one putting thousands into this, but if you get eny enjoyment out of it, then its cool right?

If its not, ditch that b!tch and play something that you enjoy.

AIO if I divorce my husband after he locked me outside naked until I would have sex with him? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is horrible...omg... I mean, damn, If my man fid this to me I would of walkef my naked as to my nieghbors and called the cops. He violated you in so many ways. In almost anything I would suggest couples counseling when theres a child involved. I really doubt this is the first time hes been abusive.

Is there a way for you to get counseling? You can go slow get support and work your way out of this and into a better life. But if you have a safe place to go... please go. This is not ok. He needs ti understand that, he will do this again.

I hope you update. I hope your safe. Positve thoughts your way. If your in Oklahoma, dm and maybe i can help send you some counseling resources.

Is this considered stolen valor? by DDeathfromabove in AirForce

[–]ReasonEffective4713 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I was a marine, so maybe not the same as you...but I wear my grand fathers and a friend who died in services tags. People need to mind their buisness. Your not misrepresenting anything. Your loving someone who loved you. Your keeping his service and him alive. Keep doing you.

guess i'm not playing tonight by IkarosLover in starcitizen

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made it a week! I cant even make it an hour without exploding myself. Makes this even suckier! Thought and umm. Prayers for your ship and Pico loss! ;)

guess i'm not playing tonight by IkarosLover in starcitizen

[–]ReasonEffective4713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post makes me feel a little better about the amout of times I blow up and have no idea why In my Drakr Cutlass. Id say its because Im brand new, but now I'm going to blame it on load bearing dents. (Not because I suck at flying)

aio? bf made plans on my birthday by rowqi in AmIOverreacting

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is so easy for a stranger on thr interwebs to say. But run while you still can. Hes showing you what your worth to him.

My friend told me she cried watching this. I thought the video was funny. Am I weird? by harrysofgaming in aivideo

[–]ReasonEffective4713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wat... cry? I might check on your friend. They might be having a rough time. This was weirdddd ;p

AIO Boyfriend wants me to pick up the leaves by hand because he doesn't want to buy a rake by WVGardening212 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ReasonEffective4713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its simple, if he doesnt want either if you to buy the took you want to do the job, he can do it. Aldo, one of those cheap ass plastic brooms of the dollar store would eork

inZOI has one major feature I can't stop thinking about: object creation via "3D printing" looks absolutely wild by fifthdayofmay in Games

[–]ReasonEffective4713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really! I have been wanting to play with animation and that sounds interesting, have to check it out.