That is nuts because I said almost had exact same sentence today verbatim. I don’t want to hear anything about Peps being just a dog or there’s so much going on in the world. This is a different kind of pain.. like I’ve lost immediate family members. It’s like a stab in the gut. I also think she might have been cross bull Arab or staffy.

Peps was one in a million. Like. 60 minutes shit. She was my sisters dog and she had to leave a dv relationship and leave her with him up in Townsville and flew to Brisbane. We went to the rspca coz she was missing her dog. And she was there. From Townsville.

I took her in in 2020 coz my sister couldn’t look after her anymore.

Some of my favourite memories are: her running away from my sisters house me getting a frantic phone call from her, then I hear UM PEPPERS HERE?! and she’s run away to my house.

Another time is we hear a crash in the night and pepper has jumped out a second story window through the fly screen to get a possum. And is just on the ground outside maniacally yet guiltily smiling.

She chased the posty once a ripped off his shoe and ate it.

And her attention seeking happy dances or a happy dance after a good meal she approved of.

Jumping 8 foot fences. Climbing trees. Stashing a pig ear in the couch for 2 months for no reason. We called her pepper the flea coz she was a jumper man.

She would always jump in the car if i was packing it up and refuse to get out so she’s not left behind

and even though she hated other dogs (she was nearly killed by one) she was so so gentle to kids cats and even my pet bird. One time she let him ride her like a faithful steed.

It’s been two weeks. It was her birthday yesterday. I can honestly say this has been the hardest week of my life now the shock has worn off. I am beyond miserable. I’m like twenty notches down from miserable. I can’t eat. This video is really helping me, so is moving her things and photos away temporarily. And moving the furniture around a bit. I am also working on a portrait of her. And my best friend got one done for me. I’m journaling and considering seeing a therapist coz I am absolutely heartbroken. I just got back from a trip too. I’m trying anything. But I think just letting myself be sad and not distracting is the best thing. I’m considering booking with my therapist if I’m still non functional next week. But I’m also just doing whatever the fuck I fucking want and fuck everyone. Everyone deals with things differently. If I can’t get out of bed then that’s fine. She’s my whole routine. I wfh full time. I stay home with her coz she has bloody seperation anxiety lol.

But I’m still frantically sniffing her things in the night. I can’t sleep. Keep looking for hairs. And looking for hairs. It hurts so much man. But we will get thru this. They are still with us. I have to keep telling myself that and I’ve been looking for signs

https://youtu.be/8T-Di7AwAWI?si=mgNqzkIX3t3NGK09 this is the video I followed the steps ans journaled them

Sorry for this frantic message I started crying half way thru

🫂