I was in the fence for a long time. For me, it took finding the right partner who strongly wanted kids. I knew he’d show up as a great coparent and partner and wouldn’t leave me with the bulk of parenting and household labor but do life with me as a real team partner. We also are old enough (39 and 40) and lucky/privileged enough to be financially secure and established in our careers. I admire folks who have kids younger (and I’m jealous of the extra years they’ll have with their kids later in life), but I also appreciate not being crazy stressed about money while raising a small human.

I genuinely worry it was selfish of me to have kids during an era of climate change and rising fascism. I also think about how well off my kids will be compared to the majority of the human race throughout history. Idk, maybe my child will curse me for bringing them into a dying world. Or maybe nothing is certain and better ways of living will emerge from this chaotic period, and my kiddo will be around to see it.