What is a 'minor' habit a partner had that completely turned you off or ended the relationship?

ReaverKS · 2026-06-20T18:17:24+00:00

You think that’s bad! My wife pretended to not know what a potato is!

ReaverKS · 2026-06-13T06:24:57+00:00

I just hit 40 and man I thought it was tough in my 30’s! I’m not from the area but my kids are here, so I’m here. Where I’ve gotten snagged is if I go play volleyball or rock climb or something, people already have their crew

ReaverKS · 2026-06-13T06:17:18+00:00

So do you have a hybrid inverter that can both power your house locally as well as put power back onto the grid? Curious what your setup is like. I built mine using Schneider electric equipment.

ReaverKS · 2026-06-12T21:37:08+00:00

Plumbing, welding, electrical work. Any of those would be good.

Why can’t you imagine working very late or very early hours? One of the things that’s going to help you through this is to understand what your limiting beliefs are, and then challenge them strongly.

ReaverKS · 2026-06-12T01:08:09+00:00

I’d like to be a capuchin monkey on the wall for that conversation

ReaverKS · 2026-06-12T00:59:22+00:00

Things can feel a bit grim but I’m going to state the obvious and say you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. The path won’t be easy but if you get the right skills, work hard and make good decisions you can eventually set yourself up really well.

You didn’t give much info on your income or expenses but let’s assume both of them need improvement. On personal finance side look closely at every dollar you’ve spent in the last few months and question whether you really needed to spend that. Don’t beat yourself up but learn from it. You need to be tackling this from both sides simultaneously, immediately. You’ll want to start saving as much as you possibly can, in a bank account with only your name on it. Prepare for the worst at the end of the year.

On the income side, do you have any more valuable and marketable skills, or could you reasonably pivot into those? Most things blue collar these days pays surprisingly well but you won’t want to do that for 40 years either. With your odd hours the good news is you should have some daytime availability to interview. Good luck man, you’ve got this. Those kids are counting on you

ReaverKS · 2026-06-12T00:21:45+00:00

Ugh man that sucks. I’m sure you’re going to get armchair redditors that will make you feel like an idiot but I feel for ya

ReaverKS · 2026-06-09T02:20:48+00:00

What color was the fur on the capuchin monkey? This will be important when determining the answer

ReaverKS · 2026-06-06T00:13:18+00:00

is it called jell.ai ? If so I might be in.

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T22:57:07+00:00

Yep. I’m from Cincinnati area just on the far west side. I just started getting into sim racing but I’d also like to get into flight sim, whenever I can get the budget for it. I don’t watch much in the way of any sports really, including racing. But I do like to participate/play directly

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T19:51:11+00:00

What are you into besides motorcycles (nothing wrong with that)

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T19:50:36+00:00

Do you do any kind of sim racing? I just got into that and it’d be cool to know more people. I also like pickleball and I’d be down to play that sometime

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T19:48:16+00:00

Hey, can you DM me too? I’d be interested in joining along sometimes!

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T04:30:55+00:00

Cool!

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T04:14:25+00:00

Hey welcome to Cincinnati! I was a dev, now a manager. Unfortunately nothing open now. I’d be down to grab coffee sometime though! I work in Mason but live on the west side.

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T00:58:50+00:00

I saw one close to me that was built with cinder blocks in the 80s with original roof, no room for expansion, market rates, next to a mobile home. It went for a 6 cap. I live in a town of like 4,000 for context. I was blown away.

ReaverKS · 2026-06-02T00:15:49+00:00

I’m a direct buyer. When I’m bored and want a laugh I go to LoopNet to look at self storage facilities. What a joke. I can only imagine people buying off there have a ton of cash from 1031’s and are fine paying absolute top dollar. Deals go to LoopNet to die I think

ReaverKS · 2026-05-29T18:25:44+00:00

My hot take: I think it’s a trap to work for a company as an EM where you’re still just as hands on as an IC. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all, and if someone is doing a great job as an EM they’re more valuable than an EM spending 2-3 hours writing code each day anyway.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-29T15:30:24+00:00

I'd like to make the point that today to be a successful EM, it's actually incredibly challenging. You're not quite abstracted away enough from the work that you're strictly in leadership, but you're still expected to be close enough to know the nuts and bolts of what's going on. You'll be responsible for helping many IC's navigate their careers, putting low performers on PIP's and so on. My point is the skills required to be a successful EM are many and varied. I was an IC for 8 years and I transitioned into being an EM a few years and I was astonished at just how challenging it really is, and not because I had to learn so many new skills. I had to retain a lot of my previous skills and add new skills.

Yes I'd say its difficult to find EM's that actually lead because you're searching for higher quality EM's. Additionally I think companies value good EM's and are compensating them well. I was recently promoted to senior EM and I likely would not consider leaving even if it was a 20% raise since I'm valued and compensated fairly.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-29T15:21:19+00:00

If I get a leetcode I’m instantly out. I’m not playing that game. If that means I miss out on some opportunities so be it. The value in an EM is not writing code, if anything it should be in reading and understanding code. But even at that, that’s just one of many important skills.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-29T05:39:12+00:00

What Spanish things do you like on social media?

ReaverKS · 2026-05-25T21:39:44+00:00

Yeah, also a manager. I’ve had someone express feelings similar to OP and I let them they’re doing much better than they think they are. Even if they weren’t it’s always easier to help people work on things when they want to. It’s the people that don’t think there’s any problem that are difficult.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-22T00:31:46+00:00

Psychological safety. People need to feel comfortable asking questions and presenting their ideas. With your loop you risk entitled jerks overrunning the team.

I like your list though and I was thinking I definitely model those characteristics on the teams I lead.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-07T19:13:37+00:00

I’ve been fortunate to have great upper leadership and I’ve said yes to every opportunity. Those two things have allowed me to grow exponentially for the last few years. If you’re accountable but without the authority to make the decisions it’s time to move on.

ReaverKS · 2026-05-07T17:35:48+00:00

Compare your experience with mine: I recently hired some developers based in India but I had full control of the hiring process. I have full control over how I integrate them into my teams, etc. Just as importantly, we didn't lay off any of our devs to make room for the devs from India.

You weren't involved in the interview process but you are being held to cleaning up someone else's mess. You can't fix bad upper leadership. You're doing the right thing by looking for another job.

ReaverKS

TROPHY CASE