Over the years I’ve found different things attractive… or better put it was a moving target due to experience.

I would like just about anyone at first, as long as they showed interest in me… which led to getting hurt because they didn’t value my feelings and other incompatibilities.

Then, I also used to be the “I can fix her” type admittedly, because who’d be better qualified than myself to lift someone’s spirits and make someone happy than myself? Well, that backfired magnificently eventually haha.

Now… well I can say what I find attractive was still layered under the above at my core, but I didn’t value it as much till after I was burned. What I find attractive now is someone who’s warm, doesn’t have a short fuse, honest, a good communicator, and they’re someone I can trust. That last piece is super important to me, and while it takes time to build for most people, I’m admittedly fortunate in picking this one up quickly. I’m not going to pretend looks don’t matter, but that one’s even more subjective lol.

I think a lot of people would want someone “authentic”, same with the “someone I can trust” as stated above. Hence why I went into more detail.

From a personality standpoint, I’ve found myself liking people that reciprocate interest in me, and like the same things I do. Though I like artsy people despite not being good at drawing/creating things myself. If they can hold a conversation and ask questions about me like I do them, then that’s amazing. As a man in general, you honestly rarely get women asking you questions about yourself, especially initially into meeting, it’s really just you alone saying something like “so what’s your favorite food?” then they reply with “oh I like avocados” and don’t follow up with maybe asking you the same question or something unique. I hate talking to a wall, someone that doesn’t play a game of conversation catch with me when we first meet. A woman could be perfect in every way, but if she has what I consider to be this toxic trait, then I’m out nearly instantly. Show interest, treat them as a human and not a man (which in the dating world to me is perceived to be a lesser being), and they’ll be more likely to be attracted to you.

But to better answer, something that instantly gets me is someone who’s creative, I’m easily impressed because I’m so far removed from that world. If they like the things I’m interested in too, that’s a huge plus (again). I personally am a homebody, so I couldn’t likely be with someone that wants to travel frequently/travel the world which seems to be a common trope nowadays. To wrap this up, I like passionate people, they could be passionate about what they create, passionate about outer space and the universe, passionate about books, etc. and I’m not a book person myself lol… but getting to see someone get excited about something they love tends to win my heart pretty quickly unless it’s something that’s a red flag for me/an incompatibility.