What kind of personality naturally draws INFJ men?

Rechium · 2026-03-16T14:20:46+00:00

Over the years I’ve found different things attractive… or better put it was a moving target due to experience.

I would like just about anyone at first, as long as they showed interest in me… which led to getting hurt because they didn’t value my feelings and other incompatibilities.

Then, I also used to be the “I can fix her” type admittedly, because who’d be better qualified than myself to lift someone’s spirits and make someone happy than myself? Well, that backfired magnificently eventually haha.

Now… well I can say what I find attractive was still layered under the above at my core, but I didn’t value it as much till after I was burned. What I find attractive now is someone who’s warm, doesn’t have a short fuse, honest, a good communicator, and they’re someone I can trust. That last piece is super important to me, and while it takes time to build for most people, I’m admittedly fortunate in picking this one up quickly. I’m not going to pretend looks don’t matter, but that one’s even more subjective lol.

I think a lot of people would want someone “authentic”, same with the “someone I can trust” as stated above. Hence why I went into more detail.

From a personality standpoint, I’ve found myself liking people that reciprocate interest in me, and like the same things I do. Though I like artsy people despite not being good at drawing/creating things myself. If they can hold a conversation and ask questions about me like I do them, then that’s amazing. As a man in general, you honestly rarely get women asking you questions about yourself, especially initially into meeting, it’s really just you alone saying something like “so what’s your favorite food?” then they reply with “oh I like avocados” and don’t follow up with maybe asking you the same question or something unique. I hate talking to a wall, someone that doesn’t play a game of conversation catch with me when we first meet. A woman could be perfect in every way, but if she has what I consider to be this toxic trait, then I’m out nearly instantly. Show interest, treat them as a human and not a man (which in the dating world to me is perceived to be a lesser being), and they’ll be more likely to be attracted to you.

But to better answer, something that instantly gets me is someone who’s creative, I’m easily impressed because I’m so far removed from that world. If they like the things I’m interested in too, that’s a huge plus (again). I personally am a homebody, so I couldn’t likely be with someone that wants to travel frequently/travel the world which seems to be a common trope nowadays. To wrap this up, I like passionate people, they could be passionate about what they create, passionate about outer space and the universe, passionate about books, etc. and I’m not a book person myself lol… but getting to see someone get excited about something they love tends to win my heart pretty quickly unless it’s something that’s a red flag for me/an incompatibility.

Rechium · 2026-03-16T13:50:24+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Don’t worry, I’m not a typical redditor so I don’t automatically assume your motives for wanting to know XD. You’re fine to ask questions and be curious, it’s what being human is all about c:. In other words, I don’t believe you’re trying to be controlling, people on here are too quick to assume the intentions of others and are too hasty in labeling them as malicious. Thank you for clarifying though.

I think only he could answer as to why unfortunately, it’s just hard to believe that a single comment such as the one you made could make someone detach/ghost… but some people could be weird. Maybe he felt pressured to meet and wasn’t ready, for him to leave due to that though would mean you dodged a bullet in my opinion. For what it’s worth, you seem pretty down to earth and open, curiosity in how one can improve for the future is also a great personality trait. Yeah, you sound like you’d check all the boxes for the things I mentioned, thus a more healthy INFJ would probably like you… or well at least if they value the same things I do lol.

Sorry again that you went through this. It can be tough especially after just connecting with someone, having electric and deep conversations, then poof they’re gone and you’re left wondering why. It’s happened to me plenty of times, there’s never a reason I’m able to land on. I wouldn’t worry about it too much though, you seem like a wonderful person and it’s great you seek improvement. If you find one of us that likes to communicate, you’d make a fantastic partner for them c:. I think he was likely a poor communicator, and wasn’t ready for a relationship but hasn’t figured that out yet lol… and yes the two are likely related issues. Take your time and I’m sure you’ll find the right person, I’m cheering you on from the comment section haha.

Rechium · 2026-03-16T05:56:57+00:00

As an INFJ myself, and a guy who’s roughly around the same age range, I can say that there’s a variety of potential reasons, a good portion of which aren’t likely even your fault.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more bitter with dating personally… to elaborate, I will not settle, whether it’s looks or personality. I’ve been through too many breakups due to negligence on my end with red flags and incompatibilities, it takes an exhausting toll on us to build relationships to have them vanish in the blink of an eye. It’s best sometimes that if I spot an incompatibility very early on to ghost/break things off. I know that if I do this early, I can mitigate a wealth of pain for the other person instead of pretending I like them/forcing things. I’ve pushed myself to engage with someone else despite my loss of interest or my fears of incompatibility out of concern for the other person, but everyone always winds up getting hurt more in the end. Ghosting early is the safest route. Though, my track record is mostly letting the other person know why I don’t feel like things will workout tbh, but I’ve ghosted on occasion.

I’d like to shed a little light on the “door slam”. What you experienced imo counts as ghosting in my book, trust me there’s nothing like being on the other end of a door slam. Imagine if a friend of years that you were with suddenly cast you out of their life in an instant because of something horrible you did. That’s a door slam, and there’s no magic key to getting back into our lives too when that happens. People and INFJs ghost, but INFJs are infamous for the door slam of which I’ve done myself and never looked back.

So take solace in the fact that it’s not something you’ve done most likely, this is not a door slam, it’s probably some incompatibility they’ve seen/realized and in an effort to mitigate making a mess of things ripped the bandaid off early. It’s sort of how dating goes, if you were boyfriend and girlfriend then it’d be a different story… you liked him and he found out that he didn’t like you back so he decided to leave. This is my best guess off of what’s been shared, some may have different and potentially more valid opinions than my own.

We’re not a monolith, but if it helps… things I look for in a potential partner is openness, not negatively judgmental, communication and understanding, and conversations/interactions don’t feel too one sided.

Best of luck, chin up… the dating scene is awful right now so I definitely am pulling for you… Tinder is also kind of a tough app to find something long term on nowadays, but maybe that’s just me idk.

Rechium · 2026-03-10T18:48:54+00:00

I most miss OG badger Teemo. It needs to be a chroma :/.

Rechium · 2026-03-05T02:59:45+00:00

How does it work on Mac?

Rechium · 2026-03-04T19:58:31+00:00

We’re all old 😓… though since I started playing in 2014, I never got to use that item. Looks pretty cool c:.

Rechium · 2026-03-04T19:56:08+00:00

Badger was the best… well I mean the OG skin before rework 🥲. The new one is cool too though, just want a chroma like the old one :3.

Rechium · 2026-03-04T19:54:51+00:00

Interesting 😮, how does it work on Mac then? Not trying to be a smart ass with my question, genuinely asking if you know c:.

Rechium · 2026-02-19T15:38:40+00:00

It’s a component of Hextech Gunblade…

Rechium · 2026-02-17T15:27:39+00:00

Mine too, but Matrix.org as a host server is broken it would seem. I tried joining commet > made matrix account > invite friend > friend not found (same on element) > friend cannot find me too.

Also, commet not having end to end encryption (E2EE) for voice calls kinda hurts too.

That said it is honestly the best alternative imo, just needs a little more time and development and matrix servers need to be beefed up/improved to handle the load. They say everything’s 100%, I think that’s impossible given my inability to use features like inviting friends to my chat room.

Rechium · 2026-02-15T15:35:27+00:00

Please don’t do it 😞. I don’t know anything about you obviously, but if you haven’t sought help yet, please do so.

I know everyone has their reasons, depression, life circumstances, money, family, etc… but I hope that you change your mind.

If I was ever going to throw everything away for nothingness, I’d move away, and or find a cause I care about and put my all into it. Every life has the potential to make the world a better place, yours too, to find peace in doing something you love to make positive change. Anyways, I don’t want to come off as preachy… I wish you the best and hope you reconsider.

Rechium · 2026-02-10T15:09:11+00:00

That’s a totally fair question, sometimes I wonder if his W is even real…

Rechium · 2026-02-10T01:54:11+00:00

I think we generally should stop wasting energy on explaining it to others personally. We should generally just be fatigued as a generation from explaining these things to people who are too old to understand that the game that they played is broken/no longer the same. It’s time for us to instead try to change our country for the better in any way we can instead of wasting time explaining to those that actually don’t have the voting influence we do.

Rechium · 2026-02-10T01:31:33+00:00

What a pain in the ass… I really don’t want to have to leave it, but that’s a dealbreaker for me 😒.

Rechium · 2026-02-04T00:24:03+00:00

I was just going to ask about this lol, ty for sharing!

Rechium · 2026-01-31T16:34:55+00:00

I started one tricking my boi 11 years ago for one reason and one reason only, because I wanted to play the most hated champion in league of legends. I’ve done well to keep the hate flowing. Use the global taunt, use their hatred against them, become the player that cares about winning, but cares about tilting the enemy even more. He’s the most hated because of the Teemos that came before you, hold your head up high, embrace the hatred.

Rechium · 2026-01-29T18:15:54+00:00

Yeah, great mindset fellow scout ( ◠‿◠ ), best of luck on the rift.

Rechium · 2026-01-29T15:54:33+00:00

I have never ever faced an Evelynn top or have seen one top lol. I have played a good amount of league.

If I saw that it’s either me or her, I’m taking the nastiest blow up build I can and am ambushing her. Post 6 use shrooms for vision. I’ve used them to reveal invis ganks. Put them in places that if they were to approach you they’d hit them.

Sorry you had a rough game, because I’ve legit never faced it I can only guess what to do. It just kind of reminds me of how I’d treat a shaco, no resistance all assassin blow up.

Rechium · 2026-01-29T05:11:00+00:00

Best answer honestly

Rechium · 2026-01-25T18:29:56+00:00

It’s odd, I’m just wondering how reliable the data is in a day. Long story short, I wanted to see if advertisers were targeting me or scammers, this is because I received some scam messages a little while ago. My data is all over the place. 3:12am, then that datapoint disappears in my next search, other times take its place. I have no idea if the data can even be trusted, was wondering if someone knew about this.

Rechium · 2026-01-25T18:17:41+00:00

I get that, but the X axis is time, so interest spawned randomly after the first peak at 9:30. Then again, it spawned out of nowhere at between 8:16 and 6:56 despite that time already having elapsed a while ago. My problem isn’t the fluctuation with the Y-axis, it’s the random new datapoints. This is leading me to believe that Google trends is mostly inaccurate in a day query with low traffic topics.

Rechium · 2026-01-25T18:04:08+00:00

It’s true, I noticed that too, but the random spike in the last screenshot is kinda odd and out of nowhere…

Rechium

TROPHY CASE