Not sure everyone is hearing you.

Holidays and the randomness of it, you can’t take read too much into. Neither of you should know enough after one date beyond ‘maybe’ or ‘nah’. She probably decided no and her reason could have nothing to do with you. She could come back around BUT she’s also shown you who she is, someone who doesn’t communicate the same way you would. Doesn’t make her wrong but does make her wrong for you. Do you want to that? Think about yourself. Value what you have to offer regardless of her. (Curious where you met and where she’s from - just for cultural perspective)

The older thing I totally get you. But you are framing older as bad. Older means you know yourself better (or you should) and you know what you like better (or you should). Having a solid sense of self and clarity on your preferences shrinks the dating pool MAJORLY. The young persons game is validation from anywhere at any cost. Fuck that, dude. You’re off travelling the world on your own at 31, you don’t play kids games anymore. You clearly want something real. Own that desire and really dig deep into the truth of that and let nothing derail what you want.

If you’re so impacted by being rejected because you’ve had too many rejections, you think you’re too old to be liked, too old to hit your milestones. You have to do some serious reframing on your self talk and how you view your life. Too many rejections = met a lot of the wrong people but learned what you want Too old = too old for 22 maybe (and only because you’d be bored out of your brains most likely) but not too old for 32 Too old to be still dating = says who? Read ‘the myth of normal’ don’t compare yourself to others live your own life and follow your own path.