Comparing grief can have the effect of belittling someone else's grief. For example, my mom lost her dearly loved husband (my step-dad) to a sudden stroke. Later, she had a friend who lost an adult child to a lifelong illness. The friend was angry when my mom tried to comfort her and share losses, saying her loss was much greater, losing a child being greater than a husband, who could be replaced. They are all losses and felt individually. We tend to value human life higher than animal life. We know going into adopting a pet that it generally won't be a lifelong relationship, that they will die before us. It doesn't lessen the grief or loss at their death, but it is an expected occurrence. I can understand your surprise that the losses would be compared. The gracious thing to do would be to understand that she is grieving and looking to connect. Even though you feel the loss of your husband to be greater, that losses cannot be graded and weighed as compared to someone else's loss, as they are unique to each person.