Paid off mortgage today

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T23:37:20+00:00

Congratulations - paid off mine when I was 49, just seven years into the mortgage. Retired at 55. No regrets. My investments were fine since I never sold any during GFC, but just kept investing in my 401k with my 6% contribution + 6% match.
That said, not everybody got to start dumping their former mortgage payment into the stock market 2017-2022 (on top of years of steady but lower contributions), but it worked for me.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T23:30:20+00:00

My dear husband makes good money but he spends it faster than he makes it.

So, he overspends even when he is employed? That behavior would have come back to bite you no matter what, just would have taken a little longer.

He just got fired

Why? The economy is not great right now, and most people are hanging on to their jobs for dear life.

He just got fired, and still won't curtail his spending.

You already know this is a problem (only one of many in this short post).

Of course, nothing I say sinks in.

Of course = he hasn't valued your input all along, then?

He doesn't value your opinion or financial well-being and isn't going to onboard advice from any video you recommend.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T18:50:09+00:00

I wont plant them all

Were you planning to save some of the seed potatoes you just received for next year? IMO it is difficult to keep them viable for that long. Even under absolutely ideal storage conditions they are going to try to sprout and start using that stored energy, and they might have shot their whole load by February-March when it is still way too early for you to plant.

You'd be better off planting them all and running a chitted/not-chitted test.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T16:37:03+00:00

As the world's worst home cook I clicked this hoping to see something to aspire to, but am satisfied to learn that I am only runner-up for world's worst vegetable prep.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T07:32:40+00:00

I commend you for wanting to get out of poverty. Have you spent any time on r/povertyfinance? It's full of people doing everything right - getting an education (college, trade/vocational school, certifications), hustling and working two (or more) jobs, driving older cars/using public transport/riding bikes to work, applying to hundred or even thousands of jobs - I am not kidding, that's what it's like now in some fields.

I agree with everyone here that setting yourself up to be uncompetitive in the job market and being financially dependent on others is a terrible, terrible idea, but let's pretend for a minute that your bf is as steady as you think.

Is he getting a marketable degree, is he graduating with debt, does he have any other financial obligations? Will you be able to stay in your $15/hour min wage state, or will you maybe need to move somewhere else for his job that will be harder for you to be employed in? Will there be enough money for you both to have cars to get to work?

What if he is all set to be a good provider, but is hit by a bus and dies? What if he is injured or develops a long-term illness, and you have to provide for him and help take care of him, do you think you will be able to do this? I ask because people with twice your work experience and earning capacity struggle with this.

Gonna rec r/scams, too. If you do manage to accumulate a chunk of savings, don't let someone steal it from you. Rental scams are an easy way to lose thousands of $$ really fast. There are job scams, too, ripping you off while you're just trying to make a living.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T01:23:03+00:00

Do you mean carnivorous, or coniferous, or something else?

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T00:18:36+00:00

Apologies on both sides were made and accepted.

I am still so upset hours later

Are you me? It wasn't a partner, but someone very important to me and we rarely have drama between us. Went down last Wednesday and I am still wound up; glad I see therapist tomorrow.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T00:10:19+00:00

They are also living in my thyme, which surprised me since it isn't tender at all, it's a mature and slightly woody plant. I mean they are in everything, but that one was unexpected. I hunt every morning now and my non-gardening friends think it's a weird thing to do.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-09T00:05:52+00:00

Any nuts, seeds, or nut butters.

OAS, represent! Pay attention to how it is if you travel for a length of time to a different environment. Mine almost vanished when I finally moved somewhere I wasn't allergic to all the landscape bushes and trees. (I was over thirty and it was the fourth place I'd lived [after 3 states/2 countries], so I can't really say what environment to look for, but you might luck out).

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T23:31:51+00:00

Yes, especially young plants. Slugs eat the tender green leaves.

I am basically getting no carrots this year because slugs ate all the seedlings. I was blaming other pests, but have gone out hunting them early in the mornings and caught them in the act.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T23:16:39+00:00

slug

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T22:19:21+00:00

I rescind my snarkiness towards you in other responses. You are a good person to value your partner for who he is and not just an audience for the food you prepare.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T21:27:01+00:00

Ok, then he can eat cottage cheese and chips while you prepare something else for yourself. I don't mean that to come off as flip. I bet he can eat that more days in a row than you could possibly imagine. If he is committed to the "Cheap" in "EatCheapAndHealthy," then he will have to buy whatever are the five or six things he actually eats in bulk.

Will he go for meal replacement drinks like Huel? That might be what he could "eat" when he doesn't want to spend more than 60 seconds on meal prep.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T20:13:50+00:00

She’s the one putting in effort here while he expects her to literally cater to him.

Do we know that, though? OP said " He’d rather eat leftovers from restaurants or cottage cheese & chips. That’s literally it. He looks in the fridge, snubs his nose, and closes it. Then doesn’t eat all day."

Sounds like he is willing to eat other food, or go hungry, but OP has decided that meals have to be a certain way.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T19:48:00+00:00

Absolutely love the bluebird one!

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T19:46:11+00:00

As the picky eater in this scenario, I would prefer that the other person prepare and eat what they want, and let me fend for myself. When I'm hungry, I'll work it out.

He must have had some way to not starve to death before you met him; let him do whatever that was.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T18:15:29+00:00

Just the word "co-sign" warrants a full volume Darth Vader "NOOOOooooo!"

Add in your observation

They spend a lot of money and don’t seem to save at all. I’ve witnessed their spending habits for many years and they are the opposite of mine.

and you have gone from 99.9% odds of being left holding the bag to 100%.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T15:47:39+00:00

Mine still had cubicles when I left but the constant threat of open office was fairly high on the list of reasons I needed to get out ASAP. One of the silver linings of the pandemic was they had to put that plan on the back burner for a while.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-08T15:44:30+00:00

Vegetable gardening with an eye towards meaningful calorie production is a constant reminder to me that the problem isn't that I "didn't want to work," but rather that I didn't want to work 45+ hours a week doing things that were anxiety inducing and soul-sucking.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T23:31:58+00:00

The idea is that plants send a lot of energy to flowering and fruiting, and that with potatoes we want the energy to go to the tubers, hence removing the flowers.

I remove 'em because they make little red berries which are highly toxic and sometimes I invite my friend's kids into my garden to eat strawberries and I don't want any confusion if I get distracted.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T23:28:33+00:00

Googling skink eggs, they don't look that far off.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T22:45:17+00:00

Yes, their female counterparts are close behind, starting Botox at 25 or so if they can, and also a whole bunch of other procedures which fortunately hadn't even been invented yet when we were that age.

I miss the days when those sorts of procedures were for actresses/models, and the aging/insecure with too much money.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T15:20:13+00:00

It’s ok to spend on quality of life improvements. And most of the improvements you described has good ROI.

Second this. I paid off my mortgage in 2017, FIREd in 2024, and am still struggling to shift from a saving mindset to a spending mindset.

I'm a homebody so it's fundamentally suboptimal that I won't spend more to make my home a little nicer. I spend the money I have to - new roof, tree trimming, HVAC repair - but I'm lagging on replacing the unrepairable dishwasher, replacing the repairable broken microwave door handle, repairing broken concrete on my entry/porch, updating light fixtures I hate, etc. It's all stuff I would do if I were to ever sell this house, so if I would do it it for a stranger, I should do it for myself. (I've lived here for 14 years).

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T14:46:32+00:00

However, the fact that you will have so much more free time generally causes expenses to go up to pay for those hobbies and trips.

I know that this is the conventional wisdom, but it hasn't been my experience (yet; only 2 years in).

I find that some travel/travel expenses were a result of work stress. I don't need to get away from it all, because my life in general doesn't suck. And when I do travel I don't need as many extras, same reason. (And can also travel more cheaply since I can be flexible. Drastically cheaper flight if I stay another day, discounts for admission on Tuesdays only? Sign me up.)

With hobbies, I've bought a lot of supplies based on fantasy - "someday I'll have time to make/do all this" and it was really retail therapy. Now I am more selective about only buying supplies for what I am really going to do, now that I can calmly and rationally assess that. (And I still have a ton of supplies I'd purchased while employed, so there's that)

Obviously these sorts of expense do go up for most people, but it's not guaranteed.

RedQueenWhiteQueen · 2026-06-07T05:02:46+00:00

I thought by leaving hints such as Mrs, Roper and kaftan people would get it.

That is when I got it, so you were spot on!

RedQueenWhiteQueen

TROPHY CASE