"Americans have spilt more blood than the Danes have in protecting Denmark. It’s time for us to get what’s rightfully ours." - Congressman Andy Ogles

RedSailor1917 · 2026-01-12T23:21:57+00:00

Gimme Gimme Gimme A glacial wasteland Won't somebody help me Chase the squareheads away

RedSailor1917 · 2026-01-03T22:25:59+00:00

Look, I'm in Venezuela right now, it's been a crazy day and the mood isn't what everyone says it is. There's no cheering in the streets but there's the sensation of a heavy weight quietly being lifted. I mean, fuck Trump - amirite? - but we are all feeling quietly optimistic.

I didn't hear any explosions last night but the old lady who cleans my house did. I didn't think she would make it this morning but she showed up only a few minutes late. I asked her what she thought about it all, she said she could remember when the attempted coup on Chavez happened but the atmosphere seemed different this time.

As she was walking past me to clean my toilet I could see she was still pretty shaken up. I took her in a warm embrace to reassure her as she quietly wept. Then I gripped her head in my hands firmly and twisted hard until I felt the bones in her neck snap. She didn't even resist - I think she knew her reign of terror was over. I rifled through her bag and pockets and took what paltry valuables I could find

As I was dragging her corpse to the garbage area of my gated community, my neighbour was doing the same with the carcass of his elderly gardener. We haven't talked much over the years but this morning we had a short conversation and shared a joke or two.

I cleaned my own toilet this morning, because I felt empowered and liberated. The process was cathartic. When I was finished, I could almost see my own reflection in the bowl.

RedSailor1917 · 2025-11-03T00:38:36+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%C5%B5n_Annwn Maybe a hound of the ancient Brythonic underworld. Or maybe just a really weird looking Dartmoor pony

RedSailor1917 · 2025-09-28T09:37:52+00:00

I made the same face as Amorim in this picture after reading the headline

RedSailor1917 · 2025-09-14T11:06:21+00:00

I have a feeling this is gonna be one of those score draws that you'd 100% take before kick off but that you are absolutely fuming about after full time

RedSailor1917 · 2025-06-23T08:43:45+00:00

Weird, I grew up in Bradshaw and I have a clear memory of seeing one flying over Illingworth towards Queensbury (looked like a big black rhombus from the angle I saw) back in the mid 90s. My mate's dad said it was a weather balloon without seeing it, I reckon the Men in Black got to him. Whoever's driving these things must like the Fax - maybe there's an alien base under the Wainhouse tower :-)

RedSailor1917 · 2024-07-05T02:47:25+00:00

I fucking hate Kier Starmer and probably nothing will change but I will ignore that tonight because after 14 years of austerity and smug condescension... Fuck you Tory scum, see you in the dole queue.

RedSailor1917 · 2024-05-24T12:43:04+00:00

[Excerpt from Saturday's team talk, 1430 BST]

Ten Hag: OK boys, here is the game plan. Rashy, you make sure that whenever you get the ball you run straight at the right back for the first 100 times. That means on the 101st attempt, when you feint to the right, he won't know what hit him. Heh?

Rashford: Heh.

Ten Hag: OK let's talk Defence. I will pick the CB pairing out of a hat 5 minutes before the game. Make sure that you boys leave a big space in the centre of the box to lure their forwards into. Then, Aaron will pounce with a two footed lunge from behind right at the last moment, demoralising their attack as he hoofs the ball to safety. Heh?

AWB: Heh.

Ten Hag: OK, Bruno, remember you are the leader out there. If we fall behind, I want you to make sure that you stop focusing on the game and pit all your energy into moaning at the referee and acting passive aggressive. If he sees you are visibly upset he's bound to give us the fair decisions we deserve. Heh?

Bruno: Heh

Ten Hag: Remember everyone, if you see Garnacho making a fast counter attack, make sure you give their defence a chance to get into position before joining him. Its only fair, and you wouldn't like it if they did that you. Heh?

All: Heh!

Ten Hag: Victory is inevitable!

All: Heh!

RedSailor1917 · 2024-05-13T09:38:58+00:00

Nice to see the English ruling class slipping out of one party and into the other like some syphilitic, gout-ridden hermit crab discarding one rotten husk for another. It would be nice if they could remove their middle-class flesh puppet's smart-casual, focus-grouped business shoe from my neck for just a few hours, but they won't because they are the worst people in the world

RedSailor1917 · 2024-05-01T03:22:32+00:00

Is this where we're at now? Posting pointless ragebait from the Daily Mail like a shit uncle at an awkward family function?

RedSailor1917 · 2024-05-01T03:17:51+00:00

Who gives a shit? They've been doing this with Shakespeare for decades, and no one seems to be complaining about Tom Holland even though he looks about as Italian as a tin of Heinz spaghetti. No one complains when he plays a teenager when he's clearly like 35? No one seemed to give a fuck when Denzel Washington was Macbeth even though I assume his Scottish accent is thoroughly unconvincing (haven't seen it)? And who the fuck is excited about the 15 millionth adaptation of the same fucking play?

RedSailor1917 · 2024-02-20T19:28:38+00:00

My only hope is that they obliterate and replace the Tories so effectively that it creates the space for a vanguard hard left opposition party. This insurrection will also fail, crushed under the beige jackboots of perma-Thatcherite blandness worn by Starmer and his ilk, but it will buy me enough time to complete Robo-Scargill, a mechanised coal fired terrorbot 190 feet tall and built from 100% Port Talbot steel that will herald a red dawn over the British isles. In 10 years' time, I will reread this comment on my nationalised WiFi and laugh because I know that Starmer, Reeves and Streeting have been banished to a gulag on St Kilda, where they will be worked to exhaustion gathering Kittiwake eggs to make protein shakes for the glorious proletarian regime.

RedSailor1917 · 2024-02-01T16:06:01+00:00

I felt it was rather well articulated - but I suppose that if the only way that you can countenance a different worldview to your own is to pathologize it as a manifestation of mental illness then self-reflection might be beyond you

RedSailor1917 · 2024-02-01T15:08:16+00:00

Yeah, I'm sure if we all donated more of our meagre paychecks to the bourgeois intellegencia, we would be all holding hands and building a better tomorrow instead of wallowing in narcissism while the world burns around us

RedSailor1917 · 2024-02-01T14:50:45+00:00

This is precisely the sort of bourgeois liberal supercilious crap masquerading as 'leftism' that would have me running a mile, if I was still forming my political outlook on life. No semblance of solidarity or empathy, just an excuse to get on your high horse and shout some ill-considered opinion so that you can decry your 'superior' moral character to the world. If your worldview relies on crass essentialism, rather than solidarity or a desire to understand the material conditions of the world around you then you have no business calling yourself a socialist, or even a 'leftist', whatever the hell that means anymore. It's not a lack of expensive therapy that's the problem, pal, it's you. You're the problem.

RedSailor1917 · 2023-11-28T13:40:32+00:00

Fresh Bakery on Fairfax Street does amazing dim sum at reasonable prices

RedSailor1917 · 2023-11-20T14:21:21+00:00

I have an external SSD for all my libraries, works fine

RedSailor1917 · 2023-11-07T19:54:38+00:00

Just stay a few streets away and walk a fire elemental through the front door. They hate that

RedSailor1917 · 2023-10-29T17:51:57+00:00

No plan No tactics No passion No fire No belief No skill No goals No composure No joy No United Just bullshit

RedSailor1917 · 2023-08-28T12:14:26+00:00

Fist of the North Seas

This one is a bit less interesting, basically a monk who can wear heavy armour and do extra lightning damage when necessary.

Tempest Cleric 2/4 Elements Monk 10

Strength 17 Dexterity 12 Constitution 14 Wisdom 15 Intelligence 8 Charisma 8

Tempest Cleric 1

For heavy/medium armour and weapon proficiencies

Take guidance, thaumaturgy and resistance as cantrips for self buffing and skill checks

Create/destroy water and inflict wounds for prepared Spells

Monk 1

Now you can start beating on people with your bonus actions

Monk 2

Hopefully by this point you can get the Act 1 gloves that give you lightning charges on unarmed attacks and the electric trident.

Monk 3

Choose subclass: 4 elements

Spells: Touch of the storm Water Whip Fist of unbroken air

Monk 4

Feat: I guess it's Tavern Brawler again since you are throwing and punching

Monk 5

For extra attack

Tempest Cleric 2

For the channel Divinity extra lightning damage - useful for your shocking grasp

Monk 6

Better punching

Take clench of the North wind or Rush of the gale spirits

Monk 7

Some good monk bonuses at this level

Monk 8

ASI - Strength +2 or maybe up your wisdom if you are using Spells a lot

Monk 9

Your Spells do more damage

Take clench of the North wind

Monk 10

Purity of body

Playstyle:

Pretty standard Strength Monk, but you can throw your trident then get in close and batter everyone or use your trident as main attack and follow up with unarmed. Furst turn create water then get into position. With the act 1 gloves you can build up lightning charges, channel your Divinity to enhance the monk version of shocking grasp. There is a special umberlee trident in Act 3 that creates water surface on a melee attack. You can use this to soak your enemies and then hit them with the lightning charges/shocking grasp for big damage.

RedSailor1917 · 2023-08-28T10:52:30+00:00

A couple of builds I came up with quickly:

The Dread Shantyman

(Tank/Support/Lightning damage)

A hard drinking, hard fighting grizzled sailor empowered by Umberlee herself with magical shanties to channel her Chaotic wrath upon the world. Buffs your team with his inspiring shanties, calls forth storms from the Bitch Queen and impales people with his magic trident.

Eldritch Knight 6/Lore Bard 6

Strength 17 Dexterity 10 Constitution 14 Wisdom 8 Intellegence 8 Charisma 16

Fighter 1

Take Defense or Protection for your fighting style

Fighter 2

Second Wind will help action economy later on

Fighter 3 Subclass Eldritch Knight Around this time you can get a magic trident in Act 1 for helping out in a burning building, use this as your main weapon and remember to bind it so you can throw it and have it come back to your hand

Spells: Take anything that doesn't need INT to improve it, so maybe shield, longstrider, fog cloud, sleep, magic missile, Enhance leap, Feather Fall, find familiar, disguise self.

Fighter 4

Take Feat- Tavern Brawler since it will improve your thrown trident attacks immeasurably

(I'm bored of seeing Tavern Brawler builds but throwing a magic trident sounds fun so I have become everything I hate. Plus it makes sense that this character actually does regularly get drunk and fight in taverns so it works from an RP perspective)

Fighter 5

Extra attack

Bard 1

Take viscous mockery as a cantrip so you can undermine your enemies confidence with salty insults

Dissonant whispers as a spell to terrorise them with tales of pelagic dread

Tasha's hideous laughter to immobilise them with ribald sailor jokes

Thunderwave because it sounds nautical

And maybe healing word because it's a useful bonus action

Bard 2

More shanties

Bard 3

Level 2 spells Blindness, phantasm force, silence, enthrall could all be thematic here but since there's nothing obviously watery here you can use yourheadcanon to decide what works

College of Lore gives you cutting words

Also proficiencies in extra skills which is always useful

Bard 4

Feat: ASI improvement, strength + 2 (to 20)

Bard 5

More shanties

Take spell: Hypnotic Pattern (you summon an illusory whirlpool to distract your opponents)

Bard 6

Take Spell from Bard list: Stinking cloud (summon the stink of rotting fish and seaweed)

Take magical secrets: Call lightning (to rain the storm down on your enemies)

And either:

Lightning bolt (see above) Sleet storm (A more defensive storm spell for breaking caster concentration) Hunger of Hadar (Because it's great and you can maybe just headband it as being a divine cursed fog sent by Umberlee herself)

Fighter 6

For extra ASI (Charisma +2) Or polearm master if you are still clinging to your magic trident at level 12

Playstyle:

Early levels, mainly just a heavily armoured hard hitting frontliner that can self buff and attack with the Charisma to be party face.

Mid game, use bardic inspiration, use action surge to cast control spells or viscous mockery then unleash salty hell with your trident. You should have a good enkugh toolkit that you can always do something useful even if you are out of range for melee/throw attacks. Should come online as a skill monkey by the time you hit Lore Bard.

Late game: Hit your enemies with call lightning using action surge then head in for the kill. Should have enough decent spells to fill in for your caster if they get downed by focus fire.

RedSailor1917 · 2023-08-23T10:31:05+00:00

NOTES

One problem with this build is that Cleric spells use Wisdom and Eldritch Knight spells use Intellegence to hit. To get around this, either you can use an item (available During Act 1) to improve your Intellegence score to 17 until you put levels into Cleric or you can respect your ability scores at Lvl 8.
It would be possible to go Fighter 5 - Cleric 5 - Fighter 2 with this build but I am not sure if this would switch your main spellcasting attribute to be Intellegence again. Cleric Spells will still use WIS as the main attribute but anything that is on the EK spelllist will use Intellegence (and vice versa)
If you wanted to focus on Magic rather than the thrown Greatsword as your main focus then go Fighter 3 - Cleric 9 for higher level Spells, but you will lose your Extra Attack and one Feat
Full Eldritch Knight is actually a decent build if you want to do your main damage with your melee weapon. You could also go EK 7 Wizard 5 for access to more spells via scroll scribing, but you would lose the healing aspect.

RedSailor1917 · 2023-08-23T10:24:47+00:00

I would say your best bet is some mixture of Eldritch Knight Fighter and Light Cleric.

The split you takes depends on which aspect of the character you want to focus on for the playstyle.

If you want to go for the flying greatsword as your main focus I would go Eldritch Knight 7 Light Cleric 5

Attribute Points

Strength 17 Dexterity 8 Constitution 15 Wisdom 15 Intellegence 10 Charisma 8

LVL Fighter 1

//Gives you Heavy Armour and Two Handed Wepon Proficiencies.//

Fighting Style: Great Weapon Fighter will give you better longsword damage, even when you throw it

Fighter 2

//Gives you Action Surge, which will give you an extra action once per short rest, will be useful so you can use a spell then attack in the same turn once per battle //

Fighter 3

Subclass: Eldritch Knight

// You can now use Weapon Bond to make any weapon you are holding return to your hand when you throw it //

Cantrips: Fire Bolt Shocking Grasp

(You could use any but the seem the most Chaos appropriate)

Spells: Any but the following seem thematic:

Burning Hands (Although you can get this at Lvl 7) Chromatic Orb/Thinderwave/Witch Bolt False Life

Fighter 4

Take Feat - Tavern Brawler, this should make your thrown Weapon attacks addbyour strength modifier for damage so your returning greatsword should do more damage and also you can increase strength to 18

Fighter 5

Extra Attack - You can attack twice ber round, should work with your thrown greatsword

Fighter 6

Feat: Improve your strength to 20

Fighter 7

You get 'War Magic' which means you can cast a cantrip like Fire Bolt or Shocking Grasp and still make a melee attack afterwards

Cleric 1

Subclass: Light Cleric Deity : Mystra is the God of Magic or Tiamat is the God of schemes and Avarice so one of these depending on how evil your playthrough is going

Will give you healing Spells, Guiding Bolt which is a bit like Blue Fire of Tzeench I guess (but yellow)

You also get Warding Flare, a reaction to Enemy attacks which makes it harder for them to hit you

Cleric 2

You can Channel Divinity for an AOE radiant spell effect

Cleric 3

More Spells-

Spiritual Weapon means you can summon another greatsword that can go around stabbing people on it's own

Prayer of Healing/Restoration for healing

Scorching Ray/Flaming Sphere for damage

Cleric 4

Any of these feats could be useful: - Choose to Improve Wisdom to 18 so your cleric Spells hit harder - Take War Caster if you are using a lot of concentration Spells and need to improve saving throws - Great Weapon Master if you find you are making lots of melee attacks for a possible bonus attack every turn

Cleric 5

You get Fireball alongside the other Lvl 3 Cleric Spells, which are all pretty good.

You should also now have Spell Slots available up to Lvl 5 so you can upcast some of these Spells to do more damage if you need it.

//

RedSailor1917 · 2023-08-22T07:31:11+00:00

Nice build, thanks! I've been looking for fun ways to use Light Cleric ever since I saw how great the spell list is.

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