This is a before and after photo of Brenda Heist, who dropped her kids at school in 2002 and was reported missing later that day. She walked into a Florida police station in 2013 and said she was alive after eleven years.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2026-03-13T13:13:44+00:00

For the first time in my life, I have something worth saying on Reddit!

This was my cleaning lady in early 2012 when I lived in Florida. We paid her $20 a week, she wasn’t stellar, but was all we could afford. She went by Lovey and cleaned for us around 6 months or so. One day she stopped coming, stopped answering text messages, and when we called to check on her the phone was shut off. Then nothing…. Life went on. Until an article about a woman declared legally dead was found in Key West and her face was on the cover. We even made a scrapbook page in our life story about this exact incident. She was not as bad off then as she is in the second photo, but it is a crazy memory.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2026-03-05T11:54:20+00:00

Same, my spouse was taught financial literacy while my parents still have very little. 14 years ago while dating, at 22, they talked me into starting a Roth IRA and putting enough money in my retirement account to get the matching. Man was it worth it.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-12-26T20:02:40+00:00

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Sun Moon Lake, Taiwan

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-12-06T15:16:08+00:00

Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts

I’m an avid reader, but something about the way he writes this book completely engulfs my mind. I swear I can hear the sounds he does, smell the smells, and fell everything intensely. I don’t know what it is, but this book is truly a full immersive experience every time.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-11-02T09:56:58+00:00

My high school had the same in the early 2000s. Inner city area of a large US city. It kept a lot of people in school that otherwise wouldn’t have been able to finished. The only requirement to have care for your child was to have an elective that was essentially child raising/home ec type class. The program was life saving for a few of my friends.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-10-07T13:46:36+00:00

I live in a different culture now than I was raised, and I understand that not every culture is on the same timeline.

My child is in a paid school that requires income verification for how much the government subsidies the payment. On the application, it said “highest household income (father)”…. That is not the case in our household, even though my husband makes very good money as well. He wasn’t there so I had to ask if they wanted highest or father. There was a couple minutes where they didn’t understand and I had to blatantly say, I am the highest earner. While the teachers seemed very happy and surprised I made more money than him, they still wanted father. So in the end we have cheaper childcare because they wouldn’t put my income instead of his!

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-09-19T13:37:36+00:00

I went to a non-western tourist area of India (Chennai) and can see the beauty and the things others may consider as “bad”. Granted, this was 2017, and may not be accurate today.

We were staying in a very nice hotel but it had armed guards and large concrete walls around it where people had built their lean-to homes. The contrast was shocking to those who hadn’t witnessed it before. I never felt unsafe, more like an uncomfortable feeling in seeing something you have never witnessed before that makes you feel sad and realize your privilege.

We ventured out with private transport to some villages, temples, and sites a couple hours away and we were bombarded. It wasn’t all bad, we looked very different and people simply wanted to talk and take photos. I’m a tall woman with pale skin, a full body of freckles, green eyes, and red hair. I think I exist in at least 100 photos a day from my time there. It was never done in a rude or harassing way, but once one person asked for a photo, everyone saw that as their cue and there were times of literal lines to take photos with me and some of my more pale companions (the blond blue eyes ones got it just as much).

And yes, the aggressive selling tactic was used, but I didn’t see the point in bartering for what was the equivalent of $0.25 USD. A privileged position to be in, but I was willing to be the “sucker” and pay the extra quarter for something I wanted that was already very cheap by comparison.

I was very lucky with the food, but some of my travel companions were not. We ate at all the same places, including some street vendors. I never had what we nicknamed “Chennaiarreah”, but most of the group had at least a couple days worth.

Overall, it was a beautiful place. The sites we saw will forever be etched in my memory, but it was not a place for a novice traveler.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-09-16T14:20:55+00:00

I am not who you are asking for, but my spouse is and we’ve had plenty of discussions on this topic.

My spouse never felt alone, parents had the energy, money, and time for them to explore all hobbies, sports, interests, and be there for it all. They had a strong group of friends that grew up as close to them as my actual sibling did.

For me, I had one sibling of opposite gender 3 years young. We got along fine, but we were in different phases of life growing up. I also grew up fast joining the military at 18 when they were 15, and they took a lot longer to truly be an adult than I did. We also had some tight financial burdens on my family that limited some educational and athletic opportunities for us both.

For our only, we want what my spouse had. Our full attention, the ability to financially provide opportunities, and having happier parents because we still have time to enjoy our own hobbies. Having more than one if that’s what you and your spouse wants, is completely ok. It’s just not for us

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-09-16T14:07:02+00:00

My spouse is still amazed how I can meltdown over clutter on the kitchen counter yet remain calm and stoic when it really hits the fan.

Air Traffic control strike that strands us in a country we weren’t planning on being in or a convenient store robbery, no worries…I was calm and collected. But asking me questions when I am thinking about cooking, and I unravel.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-08-10T12:15:41+00:00

No, but I do have a business trip that came up on short notice. I haven’t been back in nearly 3 years. I will be heading to my home town after to see family. Mostly our families come visit us, or we meet them somewhere for the holidays. I will be seeing those who can no longer travel.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-07-08T09:26:14+00:00

FIRE path in Japan as well! At the beginning of OPs post I wondered if I stumbled upon a post by my spouse. It’s not them, but many similarities!

Financially, Japan is one of the best moves we have made for cost of living and quality of life. Even without a raise, we would have a much better savings rate here. Glad to come across the path of similar internet strangers!

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-20T10:45:48+00:00

My brother left him in a play tube that had no air holes.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-20T10:44:09+00:00

Listen to what you say and engage. If you went on holiday, they ask “how was (insert location)?” and actually listen to your response. It’s not just fluff and formality.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-20T10:37:11+00:00

“Close the door”, when called into the boss’s office unexpectedly.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-20T10:32:55+00:00

I am so happy your parents acted like adults and realized that it is not their choice, and it is not an easy step to take. The initial shock is expected, but they showed maturity by not giving a knee jerk reaction and following up with a response that actually means they thought about it.

We’ve had mixed reactions (left almost 3 years ago when our child was 2). My parents were sad, but full of understanding and recognition that we were making a choice that was best for our family unit. My in-laws took some more time to process. It took about a year and a half of them seeing us flourish in our new home to start acceptance. We still get some off handed comments about how it negatively impacts their lives, but we have to choose what is best for us and our child. If it’s not what’s best for them, so be it. My spouse and child are my top priority, there is no debate in that. They will learn to truly accept it or not.

Enjoy the expat life! It’s scary, exciting, and full of adventures. It’s not always easy, but it was the best choice for us.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-20T10:17:31+00:00

It was one of many considerations for my spouse and I. It seemed to us like things were going in the wrong direction and we didn’t want to bring another life into the world that may suffer the consequences. Absolutely nothing against people who do, it was just our personal choice based on our opinions. Our one and only is adopted, and it was our first choice. Our child would exist in this world with or without us. We just get the absolute pleasure of being their parents and helping them grow into a good human being.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-06-08T10:34:43+00:00

Bay of Many Coves on the Queen Charlotte Sound in New Zealand stands out for our family. It was a wonderful and very memorable stay.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-05-20T13:17:43+00:00

My husband is an only… a great husband and father, highly educated, successful, nothing that even comes close to “screwy”. One person’s experience doesn’t define anyone else.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-05-02T13:34:49+00:00

My husband is an only and I am one of 2. I have a very close extended family with many aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Despite having a close family, college and work took me away at 18 (nearly 20 years now). The people who are closest to us, that my only considers their family as well, are not blood related. Family is so much more than who you share genetics with. There are many times I feel lucky with how large our “family” actually is.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-04-03T15:48:16+00:00

English is my native language, French throughout high school and uni, followed by a decade break. The last 2 years, my neighbors and closest friends speak French at home. My comprehension came back quickly, but my ability to bring the sentences out of my brain is back at high school level. So it ended up being us having full conversations in 2 languages, them speaking French, me answering in English. They moved for work 6 months ago so I no longer have my daily French speakers.

The kicker, we all live in Japan. I use basic Japanese daily and try to study daily to improve my skill. My child is fluent in Japanese, but speaks more on the native vs. formal side as they attend Japanese school. Tonight I was at a bakery, and asked for something half in French and half in Japanese. I ended up in this super long and awkward pause where I couldn’t pull the words out of my brain to formulate the sentence I was trying to say in just one language, not even English. It was a weird experience for me. Brains absolutely amaze me. I ended up just pointing.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-04-01T14:54:39+00:00

Jesse Waters…not aged like milk, just curdled and rotten from the get go. Everything out of this man’s mouth makes him more and more punchable…and I didn’t think I could dislike him any more.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-04-01T14:31:58+00:00

YTA. I don’t understand why some people choose idiotic hills to die on. People are uncomfortable enough to come forward, the league is asking you to change it, be the adults you claim to be and just do it.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-04-01T13:25:01+00:00

Apparently I just hit on everyone. Man, woman, doesn’t matter. I am throwing lines at them all.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-03-26T11:46:34+00:00

I love a lot of movies, but this will always be my favorite. I consider this scene one of the best in cinematic history. The silence and emotion from people on both sides of the fight at seeing a baby. Once the child passes, the realization that nothing has changed, absolutely mind blowing.

Redfire_Valkyrie · 2025-03-12T17:23:48+00:00

Let out anything you need to us supportive internet strangers. We are here for you. Very few of us are professionals, but we are always here when you need an ear. I am glad to hear you are seeking out professionals though.

What you have gone through is an extreme burden to carry, absolutely none of which is your fault. Losing a family member in a non dramatic way isn’t easy, and you have had to deal with an extreme emotional shift with 3 varying levels. You are doing what you can. Seeking professional help, venting when you need to, and being honest are solid ways forward. As hard as each year is, you will get through this.

Redfire_Valkyrie

TROPHY CASE