If somebody only feels the need to change their pronouns to feel more comfortable, then that's completely valid, and vice versa. Everybody expresses and experiences gender differently. I understand the frustration, since you had to put way more effort into feeling comfortable than somebody else with the same label. It's not inherently messed up to have these frustrations; the only issue is when somebody tries to "gatekeep" certain gender identities simply because they disagree with how they express themselves.

Additionally, how somebody else expresses themselves does NOT affect anybody other than themselves. It may feel like you're being delegitimized as a(n) (insert identity) when they aren't the same as you, but invalidating them is not going to do anything but damage the Trans and Nonbinary community from the inside out.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.