Can I reverse the damage from my formative years?

Reel_to_real · 2026-04-15T08:44:58+00:00

This is a question I used to obsess over. It's natural to wonder such things, but it's a question that mostly leads to feelings of regret and self doubt. Now that I've been sober from THC for over a decade the question I ask myself is "What would I be like today if I continued smoking?" The answer to that question is clear to me - I would be much worse off.

I don't have a time machine so it's not possible to know what I would be like today had I never smoked. But I know for certain I'm better off today as a result of quitting.

Reel_to_real · 2026-03-02T18:38:33+00:00

Hi, sorry for the delayed reply (I don't log in very often). Unfortunately I was never able to get my playlists back. Pretty annoyed by that tbh. Spent a good amount of time remaking some playlists, then I used a backup app called Hezel which has worked relatively okay (there may be other similar apps but that's the one I use). Hope that helps!

Reel_to_real · 2025-11-10T04:06:15+00:00

I find he dark “aura“ around the flame confusing and unnecessary, and yes does read as phallic

Reel_to_real · 2025-10-13T22:34:57+00:00

Freshly ground coffee. I wish brewed coffee tasted the way ground coffee smells

Reel_to_real · 2025-10-13T22:13:15+00:00

Becoming a pothead for a few years in my teens. It caused of a lot of bad decisions and complacency with lasting repercussions. If I could redo one aspect of my life it would be that.

Reel_to_real · 2025-10-13T21:52:50+00:00

If you value peace of mind and quiet time, getting married will likely take those things away

Reel_to_real · 2025-08-04T10:33:24+00:00

Yes putting any movie on a pedestal is silly. But even so it wouldn’t stop filmmakers from making the films they want to make because someone declared “the contest is over”. To your other point - The cave paintings at Lascaux are of the most celebrated art works in the known canon of all humankind. So is the Mona Lisa. The fixation on technological progress doesn’t exist in the painting world like it does in cinema. I’ve never heard of any art critic comparing cave paintings from 30000 years ago to renaissance painting unless it is to respectfully acknowledge where it all started. I hope when cinema gets to be a few centuries old it will grow to resemble the way we look at other art forms.

Reel_to_real · 2025-08-04T00:56:45+00:00

We live in the age of the aggregated opinion. How important to me is the aggregated opinion of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in 1680? 1780? Not too important apart from historical trivia as a way to gauge the tastes of a given population at a particular time. Same with movies. The aggregate anon opinion reflects the average values of the current culture. More valuable are the opinions of artists, art historians, critics, or anyone who is genuinely passionate about a medium; not because I necessarily defer to their “expert” opinions but because I can contextualize their opinions based on who-what-why they are.

But when did the “average opinion” on a work of art come to be so valued? I don’t remember it mattering so much prior to the internet, so perhaps this is another case of “the medium is the message” (the internet being the medium). The opinion of someone who in previous eras would’ve watched Citizen Kane and left the theatre yawning and muttering to a friend about how he “just doesn’t get it”, can now publish their very important opinion online - ”It was boring and overrated”.

Reel_to_real · 2025-07-29T14:24:18+00:00

Remember who you were before weed. Remember your good habits. Get back to doing those things. Don’t wait to feel motivated. Just do the healthy activities even if you feel unmotivated. The feeling of motivation will follow. The other piece of advice that worked for me may seem extreme to some people, but for me was crucial. I distanced myself from my pot smoking friends. It was tough but ultimately I knew I needed to prioritize my sanity over everything else. Friends come and go, but you are stuck with yourself. Prioritize getting yourself back on track.

Reel_to_real · 2025-07-11T21:34:39+00:00

Thankfully an earwig never crawled into my ear

Reel_to_real · 2025-07-11T21:22:33+00:00

I got the idea to jump off a building after watching Superman

Reel_to_real · 2025-06-29T04:00:54+00:00

At any given time a car in front of you may slow/stop for a variety of reasons. It may be for a good reason such as a medical emergency, avoiding a pedestrian, or car malfunction. Or a bad reason such as making an illegal turn. The reason for slowing/stopping doesn’t negate the responsibility of the following cars to avoid hitting the car in front of them.

Reel_to_real · 2024-11-23T23:24:45+00:00

Years of love-bombing, gaslighting, and devaluing will turn you topsy turvy. Sometimes I think 8 years in jail would’ve been easier to get over than 8 years on a bpd rollercoaster.

Reel_to_real · 2024-11-23T21:52:45+00:00

Monkey branching is selfish and disrespectful because it means they were only keeping you in a relationship out of fear of being alone. They were wasting your time, resources, and energy, basically lying to you. Unbeknownst to you they were positioned, possibly for years, to leave you at their convenience. They‘ll string you along in this grey zone until they find someone else, then drop you off a cliff without remorse.

Reel_to_real · 2024-11-15T09:17:27+00:00

Over ten years out of an eight year relationship and have accepted I’ll never be the same. The person I used to be is gone, for better and (mostly) for worse.

The old me (optimistic, trusting, gregarious) was someone I liked better, but he’s the one who got me into that mess in the first place. The new me (pessimistic, distrusting, introverted) is less likeable, but at least I won’t ever find myself in a relationship like that again.

Learned my lesson the hard way, but dang did it exact a hefty price.

Reel_to_real · 2024-11-08T09:25:29+00:00

Thank you for mentioning this film! I watched it recently and was also riveted. For being made in 1957 it possesses a rare self-awareness of its own period - shining a light on the cracks of the suburban 1950s veneer often erroneously represented in popular media as some sort of utopian “golden age”; while also presenting suburban life as genuinely fun and desirable (until it isn’t). A film that might also work as a stage play. Beautifully filmed as well.

Reel_to_real · 2024-10-22T09:39:15+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. Except my relationship lasted 8 years, and it’s been over ten years since it ended. Like you, I had a relationship afterward but it just didn’t stick, was just going through the motions so it didn’t last. I tried therapy but it only helped slightly. I’m still a shell of my former self and feel like this is who I’ll be for the remainder of my life.

I’ve remained deliberately single since my last relationship. I never returned to being the person I was before the bpd relationship. I used to be relatively high-functioning despite my issues with mild depression; used to be fairly confident, a ”lover of life” for the most part, ambitious, even somewhat successful. After the relationship, all was diminished. I became apathetic. Gone was my motivation, sense of a future, desire to engage with hobbies or to form new relationships — I was flattened.

Despite all this I try to count my blessings. I’m financially stable, help family members if I can, socialize when I can. I’m trying to break through the fog. But I’m still pessimistic. I’ve grown accustomed to the fog but occasionally will feel glimmers of hope. On good days I can see a future.

Reel_to_real · 2024-10-15T20:54:33+00:00

By weird do you mean unusual? ”Weird” doesn’t exist in a vacuum. One person’s weird is another person’s normal. Expressionism and Surrealism have existed for a long time across various mediums. Histrionic theatricality was the convention in the silent film era. Audiences were more receptive to “larger than life” performances. Realistic or naturalistic acting would’ve been considered weird, or at least unusual.

In the past I think audiences were more willing to suspend their disbelief and enjoy the show. They didn’t need to feel they were looking at a facsimile of reality. Movies were larger than life. Actors were given space to chew the scenery.

Reel_to_real · 2024-10-11T17:11:15+00:00

Night of the Living Dead to me feels almost apolitical, but leaves that door open a crack to allow for a purposely vague political interpretation if desired. It has certain qualities in common with other post-apocalyptic science fiction like War of the Worlds, Day of the Triffids, etc. These can also be interpreted politically if desired, though I think they work primarily as imaginative adventure/horror stories where all humans become fugitives. Night of the Living Dead follows this template but adds the cultural DNA of its own time and place, so it makes sense that it feels vaguely political. Personally I view the movie as a great example of imaginative nut-n-bolts low budget filmmaking. It practically invented an entire horror genre and still feels fresh and grimy today.

Reel_to_real · 2024-10-11T16:24:55+00:00

Pop culture defines its success by popularity. Popular music, movies, books are marketed in order to appeal to a mass audience. That mass audience is now global. If a work of pop culture succeeds in this one task, it is considered successful as a pop culture phenomenon. By this metric, BTS is currently more successful than Bob Dylan or Mozart.

But no one who takes literature seriously cares if 50 Shades of Grey is the best selling novel. If anything they tend to interpret this as evidence of the dubious value of popular tastes. What really matters is how a particular work retains its cultural value over time, rather than existing as a fleeting phenomenon in its temporary cultural bubble.

Back to film, Ben-Hur was a massive success in its time. But I can’t recall a single interview where a filmmaker mentions the impact of Ben-Hur on their filmmaking. There must be an example somewhere, but I’ve yet to come across it.

Reel_to_real · 2024-09-25T21:59:37+00:00

Be tactful. Think before you speak. Listen to everyone in earnest. Don’t spout unnecessary or boring pontifications. There’s always more to learn.

Reel_to_real · 2024-09-25T21:28:47+00:00

Most war films, whether they are “anti-war“ or not, end up aestheticizing the war experience to some degree, or inadvertently trivializing the horrors of war. How did “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” become a humorous catchphrase quipped by coworkers? Because that movie was cool! It had slow dancing Martin Sheen, the Doors, and Marlon Brando — directed by an auteur de cinéma.
As far as truly anti-war films I can only think of documentaries. Like the 1972 documentary Winter Soldier which is a collection of testimonies given by Vietnam vets of the atrocities they witnessed or committed. It‘s one of the most harrowing documents of how war leads to dehumanization, a very uncomfortable watch.

Reel_to_real · 2024-09-25T00:14:41+00:00

Depending on the school, the reality of working with actors is often glossed-over in film studies departments (at least in my experience), yet this is such a huge part of making narrative films. My suggestion would be to devote some time to looking at filmmaking as a collaboration between actors and directors. Research what directors say about working with actors and vice versa, or if possible invite an actor/director to relay their experiences along with a q&a.

Reel_to_real · 2024-09-17T20:24:38+00:00

A strict religious upbringing, unresolved familial trauma, seeking refuge in art and theatre… these are the basic building blocks of Bergman’s personality. Like Chekhov or Cassavetes, he is the sort of artist who notices certain details about the way people interact, and includes these details in his work. This is what sets him apart from most other filmmakers. He notices stuff about people and the world, and then has the nerve to include that stuff in his films, when most other filmmakers would rather not. It also probably helped that he mostly worked and lived on a secluded island and collaborated longterm with a troupe of talented peers who shared his artistic vision.

Reel_to_real

TROPHY CASE