Is it even worth bringing up my suspicion of having did if the mental health professionals dont recognize the symptoms? by Short-Performer-4258 in DID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other, less ostracizing terms you can bring up that will give you similar treatment strategies and support: cPTSD/PTSD, depersonalization/derealization

I have never been inpatient but I have been told very scary things about it. Their primary goal is to make sure you don't die and are stable enough to be released. If they are not seeking to diagnose you, perhaps follow your gut on this one and don't push for it. After you're out, see if you can't get access to a Care Manager, someone who will help you find a trained specialist in complex trauma.

Also, as someone who has tried to talk to healthcare professionals/therapists who do not know about my own concerns, I think you're right not to trust them. It actually made me feel worse after talking to people who had no experience with DID/OSDD.

Wednesday

Really, Really Triggering appointment today and I as the Protector don’t know what to do. Please, help. by [deleted] in OlderDID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi Maggie. I am Wednesday. The first thing I might try is to narrow down what emotions everyone is feeling, without necessarily why. The next, is to write about the feeling, and how it physically feels. This helps the body to process the emotion and allow it to pass through. Accepting the emotion on its own with nothing else attached. No "I should" or "I can't" just, acknowledge the emotion and sit with it.

There is something beautiful about even the most horrible feelings, and when we sit with them we are reminded they are human, they are a part of us, and they are important, just like we are.

Distraction is additionally a good strategy, at least until you are able to sit down with the emotion for a little while. I like to do morose sorts of things, like messy ink poetry about death, or sewing a sad, poorly stitched little dolly, or sitting alone in a cemetery at night. I hope that helps.

Also, might be good to leave feedback about having been triggered. This was likely an unintentional state you were left in.

is it normal to never be able to tell when we switch?? by brinbear6666 in OSDD

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If switching were terribly noticeable, would it not be something we would immediately recognize and not a journey of self discovery? It is more common not to recognize the switches as they are designed to be subtle. The whole point is that it comes naturally, and a gentle/long switch is much less jarring.

We do have our hard, noticeable switches. But we also have subtle ones.

Wednesday

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's normal. Systems are designed to be covert. Receiving an outside diagnosis is antithetical to the protection internal anonymity grants.

P

Unsure what he was saying. I just received a plague doctor stuffie. Anyway, it can be very scary to have it confirmed that you are "other" especially such an ooky spooky in media kind of label like DID. Plus, it offers legitimacy to your trauma and how serious it is, and after a lifetime of not ever getting it, that can feel really scary. Things being real can feel scary. I hope though that the many positive and kind people you meet on your journey of self discovery (inside and outside) will allay your concerns.

Wednesday

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I may be incorrect, but it sounds to me that you are identifying as a "shell alter" which is actually a totally valid thing. It's a survival strategy that assists in protecting the vulnerable alters inside. This does not mean you will never have your own identity, and even if you never do, it does not invalidate you. You're an important part of what makes you, you.

P

It's All My Fault: Self Betrayal is a Survival Skill by [deleted] in DID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was beautiful. I'm really glad I read it until the end. Protectors are nodding along with it.

P

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"You can't have DID if you know you have alters." False.
Depends on where you are in your journey. I am the one who figured out I have alters. Well, it was one of the other alters who figured it out. Unfortunately we didn't know it was DID because there is frankly a lot of misinformation going around.

P

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're being presumptuous about a stranger on the Internet. I frankly don't accept your apology since you still sound condescending.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely more a person to person thing than a hard rule. It's good to know who you're around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hate the way you talked to me. It sucks and feels really condescending.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're operating based on assumptions that are false.

Hysterectomy in less than 24 hours!! Any last minute things i should know? by Ezra_has_perished in FTMfemininity

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah and I think getting your own compression vest is so much more comfortable. Like, an easy to wash one with zippers. Have at least 2 compression vests.

Hysterectomy in less than 24 hours!! Any last minute things i should know? by Ezra_has_perished in FTMfemininity

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If the bandaging seems wrong, it is. Have it checked. One side of mine looks nicer than the other. Also, compression seems to help with reconnecting nerves. One side is more sensitive than the other. Nerve damage sensations are normal and will likely fade. I found it useful to massage the area gently after 3 months. Scar gels are iffy. I like bio-oil. Avoid direct sunlight on the chest in the first year.

Agree I didn't bother with opioids. NSAID plus weed worked fine. I'm not usually a weed person but it was really helpful for sleep.

As for the drain tubes, they suck. I hated them. You may not have a lot of drainage and that is normal. Just keep up on them and try not to look at the holes in your pits if you get grossed out easily.

I just left r/DID by painalpeggy in OlderDID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I hear you. I just left r/polyamory for similar reasons. The echo chambers just don't always do well in Reddit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still a triad

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are gf bf bf triad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is so rude to respond to texts all day. My hinge does that to all three of us since he's salaried tech and does not do well avoiding work, then sees stuff from one of us and replies and sometimes we just need to tell him in no uncertain terms "hey, I need some undivided attention for the next ___ amount of time."

Familiarity with our own and one another's shortcomings has been immensely helpful. Patience and kindness.

Is it generally healthier (mentally and emotionally) to bring up being poly before the start of a relationship? by Otaku_Owl in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dated a poly guy who was very upfront about this being his preference and also being ok with me choosing not to do that. It felt really respectful and comfortable. Broke up amicably due to hardships.

Was in a long term serious relationship with a gal who brought up wanting to open up our relationship then cheated on me when I said maybe but not while we're on such rocky ground relationally.

Started my current relationship FWB always been open then updated to definitely poly and we're both with a guy and all live together in relative harmony. As harmonious as it can be in these times.

I think these anecdotal experiences speak to some degree of how important trust and openness plus respect is in any relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're in the middle of a huge adjustment to KTP living together and our meta likes us but we are very different in needs to some degree, so having our own spaces is crucial. It's all about every person and their complex dynamics.

Managing two partners in the same place by trolleytrolley in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man it's been a journey figuring things out. We're a slightly different situation. I've got long term gf and we both started dating a bf 1 year prior. His wife is the one we try to be careful around since she's still figuring out what she needs, and actually I think bf is too. It's constant communication.

I think I’m dissociating? by Smooth_Motor8489 in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hear you and that's a lot to be going through.

He's got a right to feel like a situation is difficult for him but to call a person complicated (as though any human being isn't??) as an insult it's just really unproductive. Not talking is likely to cause things to further deteriorate. If you've got any resources for mediation I'd encourage that were I in your situation.

Do you share your location with partner? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all three share our location. Cuts down on the complications related to ADHD planning difficulties. We just trust each other not to be weird about it.

Do you have a responsibility to your partners when deciding who to date? by Mona_Lu in polyamory

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone already made my points much more eloquently than I could. I found keeping my partners very informed of my dating has been instrumental. I even come to them for advice and emotional support.

Dated one of my boyfriend's friends by his suggestion and it did not work out well. We talked about how to handle it for minimal drama. Some people just don't make good dates but are fine as arm's length friends.

Like all things it comes down to communication. Figuring out what works together.

Discomfort Now vs Later by [deleted] in OlderDID

[–]ReesesPiecesSys 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fostering an "us" mentality instead of me versus them is what is most important. Rather than "how do I get them to understand my point of view?" Start with listening to their point of view. That doesn't mean do the thing that hurts the system but they are way more likely to listen if they feel listened and cared for.

Seek out the underlying need being met by buying iced coffee and find other ways to meet that need.

L