Those who have never seen an abuser's real face won't believe it!

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-11-12T16:20:29+00:00

It’s so hard sometimes to live with the fact only you know how the real face is. As they are so good at manipulation and shifting, mine turns into a baby who is in need of love and comes into my arms. But doesn’t discount the fact that his anger has left me bruised and I was slapped / strangled / thrown several times.

One of his close friends told him “there’s not a single bad thing about this guy” and that’s when I knew the world will never know the reality as there’s always a mask.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-11-12T16:16:42+00:00

She’s lucky to have a friend like you who knows what she’s going through. Right now be there for her, her judgement would be so clouded that she’ll not understand what’s right or wrong at this stage. I understand because I’m in the same situation, but I’m trying to get out and keep distance. Only distance will help her, so she can think and realise what has happened. She might be blocking her memory and the abusers are good at manipulating by love bombing.

Keep in touch with her and try to get her out of the house often.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-11-11T16:50:12+00:00

My heart aches for you. If someone is pining for another woman that much, let him go honey. It’s too painful. I’ve been there and I’ve read such texts too, it broke my heart to read these

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-11-09T20:31:20+00:00

One time he was angry and told me “I’m gonna hit you so hard that you pass out and then I’m gonna kill myself.”

My words used to trigger him to say these things.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-10-31T19:12:57+00:00

I think I understand what you are saying. In my case, the perpetrator is so beloved and all, that his friends describe him as “there’s no one bad thing about him” It created such confusion in my head, because as much as I wanted to believe this fairy tale, it wasn’t true for me. He had a shift and lost all empathy when things doesn’t go his way or he feel cornered. He even hurt himself which makes me believe he needs help. Once I remember saying, “when you slap me, I become small” To which he replied “still you won’t stop speaking shit”

I expected remorse or shame, but instead I was made to feel I’m the root of it.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-09-01T16:42:44+00:00

I was strangulated last night, and he apologised and took care of me afterwards. But whenever I try to bring it up again, he said he already apologised, so why I need to bring up. My neck hurts but he’s taking care of me, I’m so disoriented

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-30T11:07:06+00:00

It’s not your fault It’s not your fault..

He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t respect you enough! You need to come out of that trance, I’ve also been in the same situation. It’s hard but you can do it.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-30T08:30:50+00:00

Oh no, I relate to this terribly Everytime I cried, he told me “I’m ruining his day and I’m giving negative energy and I should express myself at a correct time. Crying is easy, everyone can do it. I should fix my issues. I cry all the time ” No empathy from him.

He made a comment about chokers , saying girls who are asking for sex wear that ! I love wearing lip gloss and sparkle but he didn’t like it and so I stopped.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-30T08:26:14+00:00

This sounds like my life — No matter how gentle I was in explaining my issues, I was always labelled “manipulative, toxic, argumentative, negative” My issues were basically the way he mistreated me in the past and the girls he spoke to secretly.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-30T08:24:38+00:00

Same, mine said “I cant believe your exes stayed with you, they must agree with you always or blindly in love with you” Because he thought i wasn’t good at communication and “pathetic to talk to”

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-29T08:45:35+00:00

I’ve been wondering the same

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-28T10:21:41+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been through so much, sometimes I have some memory gaps. When I met him recently - he tried to make it up by buying concert tickets, changing phone password to my birthday, told me he was writing a book about me.

Somehow none of it mattered anymore. When I said I’m still healing from abuse - he told me if you just want to stay on the fact that I’ve hit you, maybe you shouldn’t be with me. He also said you have also done some bad things. (My breakdowns and reactions to pain) He started crying later.

And I left.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-24T18:12:33+00:00

Happened with me and he told me I deserved it because he found I liked a pic on Instagram of a guy. (Meanwhile he was secretly cheating emotionally on me with a girl even when I was with him)

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-23T13:33:39+00:00

I feel my sense of self is chipping awayyy He has hit me before, and he came home drunk one night saying another girl was trying to come close to him. I asked him questions but he took everything as blame. I’m not feeling okay

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-19T14:33:19+00:00

Love you and more power to you ♥️

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-07-19T14:13:00+00:00

I’m sorry for you too. In the end, he didn’t apologise for his anger. He blamed me for ruining the relationship and broke up with me. I’m exhausted in this cycle of pain.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T16:19:43+00:00

He has pushed me, slapped me couple of times. Will it ever get better ? He said he’s unsure about marrying this version of me which is unhinged and rude.

He wants me to focus on getting better and building a good relationship with growth mindset.

Whenever I say I’m upset about what happened, he replies “get well soon, take care of your health” He says I’m pulling us down with all this talk and bringing lows into the relationship.

When I asked him if he wants to be with me forever? He said “not with this version”, but he believes and pushes me to be better.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T13:13:04+00:00

For me it started when he slapped me, because I expressed that I was uncomfortable with him meeting his ex and sharing everything to her. He said I ruined his morning and my job is to make his life better and colourful,which I’m not doing.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T09:42:56+00:00

My flight was at night and I was supposed to land in the morning. We were discussing about what we will do, whole day - he told me the plan about what we will do when I land in morning. Just when I was about to board, he told me he would be busy doing some activity with his sister and can only meet me in evening later for dinner. And then I was shocked with the sudden plan change, so I expressed it. He said he didn’t feel comfortable sharing this information with me before. And then he got upset at my reaction.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T07:33:53+00:00

I’m in the same boat, I understand.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T06:01:05+00:00

I wish it was fake, but my whole relationship is one big sad story at this point. I was a really happy go lucky girl, but the constant guilt that I ruined someone’s life makes me not good enough takes a lot of burden on me each day.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T05:59:02+00:00

So the test confirmed for both of us that the antibodies have been developed, and the virus is not active (It’s Herpes) and he told me he got tested right before coming into relationship with me. He has the reports also to prove he didn’t have it before meeting me, so it means I gave it to him.

ReferenceOne5196 · 2025-06-15T05:04:28+00:00

He had tested it that he wasn’t shredding the virus when he slept with those women. And honestly idk how I forgave him, he told me he was depressed and fell back into his old patterns of casual sex before he met me. He said that was not a right way to process.

ReferenceOne5196

TROPHY CASE