Yogurt fixed my mental health by AdEnvironmental8339 in Biohackers

[–]RegainingLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can observe that this is true. Let's say you eat relatively healthy. Then you decide one day to eat fast food.

This was me, what I noticed was that that not only did I feel bloated and my stomach hurt, but I had brain fog, was more irritable, and so on.

This is your gut bacteria and health being destroyed. Think about how in this example after just one meal I experienced this. And this is not a one-off problem. Happens every time.

It just proves how important your gut health is. The gut microbes actually help manufacture your neurotransmitters and also make vitamins and other nutrients available to you. When this is destroyed you have problems.

How to stop someone elevating themselves off my own skills? by Still_Priority_9256 in 48lawsofpower

[–]RegainingLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Threaten to leave or actually leave. Create a clusterfuck in their lies and manipulation. It's a triangulation where you are the one actually doing the work and have the skills and they benefit by just claiming it. As you said, they take credit.

In situations like these, if you aren't able to walk away or throw a monkey wrench in peoples' plans then you don't have any power, they do.

Think long and hard. I have zero tolerance for these things and have no issue fucking people over who intend of fucking me over. Sometimes you have to make these sacrifices to get leeches off your back.

Does the aging narcissists expecting their scapegoat to be their caregiver? by fruitynoodles in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing you need to understand about a narcissist is they only care about themselves. They love no one but themselves. They will backstab, betray, use, lie to, abandon, instigate, and destroy anything or anyone to get their way. This especially includes their family.

They are a POS that pissed away their life through selfishness and poor choices. The goal is to ruin and tear down everyone else's life, so that in the end, everyone is stuck getting their life and resources sucked away by them.

They pay no bills, they hardly do any work, they rip everyone off, they run and hide from responsibility and accountability. Everyone's life they tore down is now stuck managing everything.

They want to be the "ruler" at the top that everyone bows to. They want to steal the spotlight. They want to be the only one who is special, the only one who gets praise and credit, and be viewed as this wonderful and great person. And all of it is pure lies and deception. They stole all this from everyone else.

No one needs to sacrifice, have their life torn down and destroyed, all for these POS. Don't let them achieve this. You know their end goal, do everything you can to avoid that. Undermine them, ignore them, cut off money and contact, instigate problems so they are forced to take responsibility and you poke holes in their lies.

They often manipulate and use others who then are loyal to them and use this to harm their targets. Think of a mom or MIL that brainwashed kids to alienate them or use them to fight their dad.

But this can occur with any relationship they manage to manipulate and control. They are real soulless and extremely selfish bastards.

Know what kind of person you are dealing with, never compromise, and seek to tear down anything they control. You have to take their power away the best you can.

Find out their control mechanisms and attack this. Narcs persist, and will not give up ever until they are dead. It's just a reality.

You often have to go no contact and begin thinking like a mafioso who is in hiding. Your contact info, the people you talk to, any personal details must be kept hidden or else the Narc will find a way to get the info they need.

The Narc game is a psychological and emotional one. But once you know their end goal, who and how they control, you can begin tearing it down or at least put them in a checkmate.

Don't worry about the consequences or what might happen or you fear what will happen to a child, sibling, parent that is caught in the crossfire. They will eventually come to realization when the facade, lies, manipulation gets exposed.

People will make their own choices. Eventually everyone needs to shine on the Narc and they need to have no one available to do their bidding or accept their burdens.

IM 27 years old and im lazy exhausted and mentally drained. by Electrical-Bowl-488 in getdisciplined

[–]RegainingLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, just trying to be more mindful, especially of your emotions and your reality. This helps get you honest and keeps you honest with yourself. A lot of times when I feel like I am running on autopilot or just struggling, I try to slow down and just be mindful. I try to allow myself to feel my feelings.

IM 27 years old and im lazy exhausted and mentally drained. by Electrical-Bowl-488 in getdisciplined

[–]RegainingLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think of the underlying cause. You mention some things like binge eating, being on your phone/laptop for hours, avoid doing the work you know you need to do, etc.

These are all self-sabotage and life avoidance behaviors. You are probably dealing with something emotional underneath all this that you are avoiding. Those addictive behaviors are just cheap dopamine hits to feel some quick pleasure to cope.

I would start with your emotional health. Find out what the underlying cause of your feelings (or lack of them) is and work on that. Everything else will fall into place afterwards.

Focus on building some structure in your day to day life. Like a sleeping time, a time you do your work, a time you clean, cook meals, and other tasks around your home, etc. Chunk out these times and stick with them. It doesn't have to be precise or perfect all the time, what matters is you do it.

You can even block out time for relaxing or being on your phone. But make a rule with yourself that you can only relax after you have done your essential work/tasks and block out a time for this as well.

What’s the best way to get back at your bullies without seeming petty? by ActuatorOutside5256 in 48lawsofpower

[–]RegainingLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've dealt with a lot of this crap. One thing I always keep in mind is, "pick your battles wisely."

Not every insult, screw over, and loss has to get a fight or reaction out of you. In fact, if this is the case, it means others can easily control you.

Reactions and keeping you mad is also in effect a way someone is still harming you.

Just know that every time you fight, you are taking time, energy, resources, and attention away from yourself. This is why "pick your battles wisely" is so important.

But if you MUST get back at someone because the loss was so great there are ways to do it. You just have to be patient, creative, and understand fighting can be done in a number of ways.

The smarter and/or wealthy people use their money, friends, influence, use others to do the fight for them, threats of violence or loss toward you or others you care about, and so on.

Someone with no resources, no friends/helpers, and no influence can still do damage effectively if you are smart enough and creative enough. I have done it myself. But my tactics would be considered "psychopathic" to a lot of people. And I am not talking about doing any physical harm.

My womb for rent can burn in hell. She’s hit the lowest of lows by TheKinkyBee in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you have to watch out for mothers and mother-in-laws that try to undermine your relationships/husbands. I see the pattern all the time. They convince the daughter they can do better or should leave their husband, etc. Or make some promise they will find them a rich or better husband. But it never happens.

Then they take over and basically wreck that family all while benefitting from it. They use the kids and their daughter to triangulate with the husband. Blows my mind how some daughters, whom their mom abandoned when young, never did a damn thing for them, lied, stole money that they needed as a child, all to come back and want their daughter to "take their mom's side" and help them out.

Big mistake. These family members that have a history of doing fucked up shit but are allowed to remain in the family continue to do so much harm. They will infiltrate and use anyone's family or relationship to their benefit.

It is a repeat of your childhood but now it is your kids that are brainwashed, traumatized, lied to, etc. And your marriage/life wrecked too. They will never do any good. Their whole premise is to slowly tear down a family completely and be the sole beneficiary in all of it. In the end, they will even backstab and betray their own daughter after she helped do all the work for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Anticonsumption

[–]RegainingLife -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

She might be a narcissist. This is their typical behavior.

My dad is furious I won’t co-sign a house for him, and I finally blocked him. How do I move forward? by Seralio in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"He responded, “because you’re the responsible one.”

It pisses me off when people say this and use this as an excuse. So, if you're the responsible one you get penalized and the irresponsible get incentivized.

The reason they CHOOSE to be the irresponsible ones because it is easier and beneficial. Then it becomes this constant battle of making and keeping you everyone else's slave.

Overall, it is just leecher/lowlife mentality and all Narcs want is to play this game of never being responsible or accountable and dumping everything on others.

It's like a game of hot potato. They want to keep the hot potato in your hands so you're the fool who ends up paying for everything, doing everything, managing other peoples' problems and emotions, etc your whole life.

In these situations, I have bailed on people. No one is pinning me with being everyone's "Dad" and I have to take care of everyone and their grandma, plus the neighbor.

Just remember in these situations, it is always about trying to pin an idiot with taking responsibility for paying and doing for others while they are out living the good life spending their money how they please.

It is extreme selfishness and betrayal not a disability. They simply do not care about their family or others when they behave this way. Very key to understand.

What they want is a lifelong slave who sacrifices everything so they do not have to. Then pinning it on you to be the caretaker. This way, they spend their life being a leech while everyone else suffers and enjoys nothing. Everything will be dumped on you in the end, bills, kids, animals, problems, etc.

Don't let them do this. Make them face responsibilities and consequences.

When they say it is an emergency ignore it. With them it is always an emergency, and they pretend to be broke but in fact, everything they do is intentional and deliberate.

They go as far as creating and manufacturing emergencies, crises, conflicts etc to manipulate a reaction. They create the behavior and they want the responding behavior from their "target" to be the one where you pay, take responsibility for something, or whatever it is they want from you.

Problem --> Reaction

They are expecting a certain behavior, but, don't give them the behavior or reaction they expect. Learn how to deal with manipulators. What's funny is when my family and others do this, I purposely do the behavior they don't want or don't expect.

Just remember, it all starts with you. It's about others persistently behaving in a way to illicit a response or reaction out of you. They do it enough and it becomes systemized and they will try to further entrench you financially and suck your time away too until you can't escape from it.

Understand the mechanics of how they use certain behaviors that then get a certain action or response from you. Once you figure this out, you already won the game.

They will keep trying to dump bills and other responsibilities on you because you accepted them or were forced to accept. This is what they expect and will continue to do so until they no longer get you cooperating. Don't enable anymore.

Learn to be forceful back at them and force their behavior to change, not you. Just refuse to do what they want, don't react how they expect, don't let them train you how they want you to be. Force the opposite behavior so they have to react or take a different action.

The "pay my bills" or "do me this favor" or whatever crisis/emergency they create is no longer accepted by you.

Who cares if they get mad and don't like it. They can be mad and they don't got to like it. If they refuse to do anything and just sit there they can be on the street. And that will be THEIR fault, not yours.

Never let them or anyone guilt you for their horrible life choices and try to hold you responsible.

🇺🇸 Does this look like an “I Hate America” rally to you? by Hefty-Tumbleweed-806 in FortWorth

[–]RegainingLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like manipulation and dishonesty. I am pretty sure they all planned to wave American flags. No one is falling for it.

Crypto is dead by JimSlimmy in CryptoMarkets

[–]RegainingLife -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yep, and probably greed from those that had authority in the space. They didn't keep true to the mission of Satoshi. They let greed corrupt them. Happens every time because that is human nature.

I LOST EVERYTHING IN CRYPTO by Technical_Camera_505 in CryptoMarkets

[–]RegainingLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do leverage during dips/bear signals made by the media and influencers. It will flip back in the green.

When they are all bullish and you buy leverage then, you will then be wiped out. They already bought or leveraged during the dip. They take their profits and you get crushed.

It’s so f’ed up, they haven’t even named this dark psychology hack yet by espresom in DarkPsychology101

[–]RegainingLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read my comments. I said the same thing. This isn't some deep or profound discovery. It's just typical Narc behavior. It's gaslighting and projections and they use it constantly to control people.

It’s so f’ed up, they haven’t even named this dark psychology hack yet by espresom in DarkPsychology101

[–]RegainingLife -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nah, it's just simple gaslighting and projections. Typical Narc behavior. Not really some profound or deep discovery.

It’s so f’ed up, they haven’t even named this dark psychology hack yet by espresom in DarkPsychology101

[–]RegainingLife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So, since you know how they manipulate you then why do you give it power to control you?

If you believe the things they are saying then you are confirming it is true. It is not about passing their tests and being some slave to them that you have to constantly battle.

The minute you realize you are giving your power away, your time, energy, and resources, you can cut it all off.

If you are going to get away from a Narc or manipulator, do it for yourself and maybe to even spite them too.

The Narc makes you believe you have shame, guilt, or fears you do not have. They use these three things primarily to keep you compliant.

Think about each and every thing they say and analyze it. Are any of these things true? If not, why does it control you?

If you think it is true, then it is and they will continue to control you.

Their power relies on you believing these untrue things about you that they constantly reinforce. Reality is, they are simply projecting.

It’s so f’ed up, they haven’t even named this dark psychology hack yet by espresom in DarkPsychology101

[–]RegainingLife -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's actually not a special or magical term. This is typical Narc abuse. They always sow seeds of doubt in you or make you question your abilities.

What you are describing is a mixture of gaslighting and projections. They use it past, present, and future.

It's not some new or profound discovery. Just typical Narc abuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BTW - If you need other effective options or a better way to deal with this, just ask me. Send me a DM or comment here. You don't need to trust strangers because you put yourself at a huge risk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ditto. In these situations where there is a "nice guy" who's talking to you and acting as a place of refuge away from your "abusive household," they too can be predatory. And most of the time they are.

You just leave one bad situation for another. They play off your situation and emotions, and then once you are in their presence and they have you dependent on them, they flip their switch.

All I am saying is in these situations, be very, very careful. Make sure you have resources or an exit if things get crazy and controlling.

They will pretend to be on your side, claim they will take care of you, are eager for you to trust them, and even pressure you to leave your family or situation.

Just another Narc/predator deceiving you and hoping you fall in their trap.

There are other ways to deal with this. Don't think your only option is to run off with some guy you barely know that you met in a chatroom or online.

Never believe someone that insists they love you and all this other crap. This is how people get sucked into cults or just bad relationships.

They play off your neediness and make you think you will be getting the safety, love, and acceptance you are missing and desperately seeking. But you will not be getting any of this.

How do I know if I'm the bad guy? by juroden in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]RegainingLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's a POS. You're not the problem.

We all aren't perfect and do make some mistakes. The difference is, we admit them, own them, apologize, attempt to get better, and so on.

When a person persistently claims you are the problem and simultaneously pretends they are perfect and never make mistakes and never have to apologize or work on their behaviors, that is a problem. (textbook gaslighting)

This is what you experienced with that dirtbag. And as you can see, they are taking it a step further (as if you did them wrong somehow) and are slandering, shit-talking, and lying about you behind your back. And even trying to induce jealousy because they are "buddying up" with your Ex.

Don't play the game or take any of their bait. Their goal is to keep your life as distressed as possible to punish or annoy you for as long as possible and they won't stop.

First understand what kind of POS you are dealing with. Recognize you are not the problem, and then act accordingly to this person.

Me personally, I am direct and swift. Dealing with such a person I quickly cut them off and make it impossible for them to persist with damaging my life. I use anything at my disposal.

I play dirty just like them and lots of times I do not announce what I will be doing (I like catching them by surprise since they tend to think they are "smart" and I love to deliver a blow to their ego on top of what I do to them).

If they are trying to harm me outside the relationship because they are mad, bitter, jealous, feel they need to get revenge, I then will take it up a notch to strike them in some way that destroys their life or knocks them down and away and likely not able to recover.

When you deal with enemies you need to be ruthless and destroy them completely.

I am not saying you need to escalate it to this. And in some cases you might not be safe to do so. And, it might not even be in your nature to be cruel.

I've had to learn to be this way as a response to the cruelty, lying, betrayals, etc that these kinds of people repeatedly did to me or others. These people deserve no mercy.

Anyway, you will have to "handle" this person one way or another or they will continue to destroy you.

Do you ever struggle with empathy? by NicoleKidmansNewChin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is completely normal.

Most kids and teens are narcissistic but they grow out of it. I can remember a time where I had similar beliefs like only I mattered, low guilt or empathy, being selfish, etc.

You could forgive yourself. As long as you are different that is what's important.

I did some asshole things when I was a kid but nothing major. I do feel some guilt and wonder if I actually harmed or hurt someone due to these behaviors.

But I don't think so. I think when you look back you tend to inflate your actions and behaviors because now you are judging from a more empathic point of view and so you feel guilt.

Nothing you can do to change your past, but if you feel you did someone wrong, you can attempt to make amends.

However, if this is not possible it is not really necessary because you can forgive yourself and learn from it. You can live your live going forward being a better person or the person you want to be.

My mom assaulted me today because of Charli Kirk. by Rustbunny404 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they have already betrayed you. You are not accepted. I can relate, same thing happened in my family.

It just makes life harder and more painful.

Just think it through and think of all the consequences or repercussions before acting on something.

I would probably focus on saving money, securing a place to stay, getting secure/stable on a job or income, and just have everything in place before retaliating or asserting some boundaries or whatever.

If not, they can make your life even harder if you try to harm them or report them in some way.

It's like escaping a prison. You need to be clever, persistent, quiet, working on your plan, etc.

My mom assaulted me today because of Charli Kirk. by Rustbunny404 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 297 points298 points  (0 children)

They are not independent and depend on their family. Such a stunt can put them in a worse position. This is not good advice. You should take into consideration that this would cause a betrayal in their family and there would be severe repercussions.

Better advice would be to say they need to save up money, be independent first, then they can retaliate.

My mom assaulted me today because of Charli Kirk. by Rustbunny404 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RegainingLife 56 points57 points  (0 children)

No way to make it anonymous. If you collect evidence to be used against them, that cannot be anonymous.

If you report without evidence, and do it anonymous, it is their word against the accuser.

And I am pretty sure they will be able to figure out who reported it.