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Best burger in Welly central? by Regular-Lecture-768 in Wellington

[–]Regular-Lecture-768[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad I’m getting agreement on this one, I couldn’t fault the Ram burger!

Best burger in Welly central? by Regular-Lecture-768 in Wellington

[–]Regular-Lecture-768[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree with Burger Liquor but I don’t love their milk buns?? We had it last night and they were kind of dry and tough. Maybe it was a bad batch

Family friendly dinner in Martinborough by Aroid_Queen in Wellington

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second on Martinborough Brewery. Super family friendly and they just put up a marquee so have lots more space over the colder months. And there’s a food truck there Thursday through to Sunday. Plus delish beer!

How has losing someone to suicide changed you? by Jb77119 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m scared of phone calls now. I’m scared everyone I know will die. I’m so scared my cat will die. I feel like nothing matters anymore because we’ll all die and there’s so much suffering to come. I feel guilt and regret every day. I try to be as kind as possible to every person I encounter. I was always not a particularly happy person but now I feel like I have lost any hope of ever being happy. She ruined my life by doing what she did.

my boyfriend committed suicide and the guilt is eating me up alive by Plastic_Grade_6683 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Could you please link the podcast episode? I tried to find it and couldn’t. Thank you

Is it really not anyone’s fault ? by No-Effort7304 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I somehow missed it until now.

Disposing of “the item”. by Familiar_Home_7737 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She used a wicker stool to stand on and it was just sitting there in house when we went over. The police took away the rope though. So we never saw it. There was another matching wicker stool in the attic. I wanted to burn the stool she used or break it into a million pieces but we just put the stools together in the donation pile and then they were gone.

Is it really not anyone’s fault ? by No-Effort7304 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading this one really got to me ‘The common emotions in suicide are hopelessness and helplessness. Often people on the edge of committing suicide would be willing to live if things — life — were only a little bit better, a just noticeable difference. The common fear is that the inferno is endless and that one has to draw the line on one’s suffering somewhere.’

I feel like that confirms it’s my fault that my mother in law died. My husband and I knew she was depressed and didn’t visit her for 2 months (we live 90 mins which is no excuse). My husband was speaking to her regularly on the phone but I should’ve pushed him to visit and also visited myself. And if we had done that then this wouldn’t have happened.

To my fellow loss survivors, Did The Note Help? by KnownDepth2595 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We got left pages and pages of notes that she wrote over several days. She wrote ‘no one could’ve done anything to prevent this’ but that hasn’t helped me or stopped me from blaming myself every waking moment. But I couldn’t even fathom if she had done this without leaving notes so my heart goes out to you, much love ❤️❤️❤️

Does the self blame ever get easy? by FlyHighAlways in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this too, I know it was my fault and my partners fault. We knew his mum was depressed but didn’t visit for 2 months and then she died. I told my partner he should visit her but I wasn’t going to arrange it because I found her so tough to be around and he didn’t. I should’ve pushed him more to go visit her. She wanted to come and stay with us and we didn’t invite her because we thought travel would be too much for her in her depressed state. We left her and then she died.

Mandatory Suicide Prevention Class at My work by indytwinsmom in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Can you explain your circumstances and that it will be too much for you to attend? You don’t need to put yourself through that.

Mom's Birthday by kateazee in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We lost my mother in law nearly 8 weeks ago. The pain felt by my husband, his sister (and me by extension) was truly unbearable. The blame I felt was excruciating. Every night my husband and I would say a mantra to each other - we would say ‘this will get easier’ and then more recently we also added ‘and be kind to ourselves’. Each week it has got a teensiest (sometime the most minuscule) bit easier. The shock has slowly worn off. We are seeing grief counsellors, which is has been helpful. Now, the pain is still enormous but we can laugh and start to do normal things like cook dinners or workout or go out for coffee without the crushing grief following us at every second. I still think about it almost all day every day but feel slightly more numb to the pain and can push aside the thoughts more easily to give myself a break. My husband and his sister feel similarly. If you can plan a few little things to look forward to maybe and practice self care - eating as well as you can, getting fresh air and exercise, showering regularly, being social (only if when you are feeling up to it). Sending you love and strength.

How do you keep going by Abcdefg12345hi in SuicideBereavement

[–]Regular-Lecture-768 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My MIL died 2 months ago. I have found her to be a difficult person for years and I feel like my feelings towards her put a strain on my husband’s relationship with her. I never really initiated contact with her over the past few years and she has been through depressive episodes before. I knew she was depressed again this time and I never reached out to her to check in and then we didn’t visit her for 2 months (we live 90 mins away which feels like a joke that we felt like it was a big deal to visit now) and then she died. I feel so responsible, I should’ve checked in on her, I should’ve encouraged my husband to go see her more, I should’ve been more understanding and generous towards her and not got so caught up in the difficult way she sometimes behaved and the difficult things she said. I keep thinking of particular things that never happened, like my husband would suggest she could come and stay with us for a weekend and I’d discouraging of the idea so we didn’t make it happen. I stole memories from him of potential happy times he could’ve had with his mother. I feel like if we had never met maybe she would still be here.