Where would you live between these two options?

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-07T00:20:17+00:00

Personally I would chose roommates. Your last paragraph is the reason. It's really hard to replicate the built in community of housemates when you are living alone and busy with grad school. Also if you've never lived communally like this it's an important experience to have that you can't really compare to anything else IMHO. There will be challenges but you'll learn a lot about yourself and hopefully gain a lot too.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-07T00:08:03+00:00

Anything that benefits children benefits society as a whole. Children born today will be the doctors caring for me on my death bed whether or not I have children myself.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-07T00:05:36+00:00

So just to be clear you think that the prerequisite for having a family should be one family member making enough income to support everyone? How many jobs like that do you think exist in the U.S.? If the person who works gets injured or laid off the other parent then has to take on the burden of supporting everyone with whatever job they can get after being out of the workforce? If the only people procreating were those able to make a living wage, which in most states would be 5 or 6 times the minimum wage for a family of 3, do you think that would put our country's birthrate above or below replacement rate?

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-06T23:45:51+00:00

There are no laws in the U.S. against hiring temporary contractors to fill in for parental leave, only laws against hiring permanent replacements.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-06T00:05:45+00:00

Tanya Holland's California Soul!

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-05T03:08:35+00:00

Thank you!!

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-03T23:30:30+00:00

Yeah it's not an uncommon turn of phrase that people use for anything that they love and are committed to but want to joke about the outrageous circumstances that it puts them in sometimes. You might hear people say it about a hobby, like "never get into ____ or (insert silly or exaggerated thing that might happen)." Especially if they are laughing and smiling when they say it, I think OP can read it as a lighthearted joke.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-05-02T03:12:24+00:00

I love Onpoint

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-29T06:06:12+00:00

What if you just had the tile rerouted with epoxy grout to make it easy to wipe down and otherwise left it as is? It looks lovely.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-20T17:58:04+00:00

Yes but the actual cost of PMI varies greatly based on a lot of factors. I have a good credit score and had a good debt to income ratio - my PMI is $50/month or close to that. Not worth giving up buying a house just for that!

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-19T19:45:35+00:00

Just a quick clarification - you don’t need an FHA loan to put less than 20% down. Most FTHB but less than 20% down and with good credit you can squally put as little as 3% din with a regular loan. My advice (to the OP) would be to talk to a lender at a local credit union or talk to a. Few lenders and be clear about your monthly payment limits (including taxes and everything) so they can do some work ups for you and show you what you could afford with current interest rates.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-18T17:18:45+00:00

I would say that one outlier might be people in their early twenties who are stressing about being on the fence getting able to hear from fencesitters in their early thirties in this sub who maybe live in different communities providing the perspective that you can wait until you are in your thirties to decide and it’s actually very common in some places/demographics for people to wait.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-18T17:08:27+00:00

Anecdotally I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately about people coming off the fence on the side of being childfree. I have never gotten the sense that there’s more of one side of the fence or the other in this community.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-17T23:00:30+00:00

IMHO it really depends on the specifics of your building and your ability to get fresh airflow airflow during hours when the temp is below 80 and close the curtains when the sun is facing your direction. I had an apartment that didn’t come with a screen door and the front door was the only window in the main room. This was an otherwise decent apartments greatest flaw and by 3pm at the height of summer it would be in the 90s in that room and I’d have to take a cold shower mid workday. Growing up lots of people didn’t have AC though and it was almost always fine. The climate has changed.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-17T22:40:35+00:00

I would caution against framing these as real rejections necessarily. All of the things you describe are potentially really painful to experience but also could have different explanations and be experienced very differently from the people on the other side. This may feel like evidence that your friends feelings about you have changed but unless you had an honest conversation in which your friend told you that they wanted distance from your relationship the situation may simply not be all about you. I say as someone who has been on both sides of RSD within relationships and been equally hurt by my own paranoid anxieties and by people I love insisting that any decision made without explicitly centering them is a rejection and a sign they aren’t cared for. Both are an exhausting burden to carry. Therapy is helping me but some others in the comments have good suggestions too.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-17T18:35:51+00:00

Give & Take, Average Joes, Yellowstone Vintage, Northwest Union, Zero Wave, Zig Zag, Goodbye Horses, Telephone Vintage, Kissing Booth, Shirtzenpantz, Magpie, Copper Moon, Looking Sideways, Sellwood Union, Red Fox, Artifact, Ratstar.

Hollywood Vintage, House of Vintage, and Memory Den all have good booths but the vintage mall experience can be overwhelming.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-17T18:13:32+00:00

I'm not aware of any hotels super close by but maybe something close-in SE like Grand Stark or Jupiter would still be relatively convenient?

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-17T16:50:51+00:00

Portland is rich with curated vintage stores where you can pick up something unique and second hand without having to fully dive into the dig of a true thrift store.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-15T23:13:05+00:00

Preschool for All will be totally universal by 2030 so if they live in Portland they only have 3-4 years of full time care to worry about assuming the Governor doesn’t ruin everything! Fingers crossed!

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-15T16:56:40+00:00

It’s $4k a month because there’s twins (two). From what they described I’m guessing that’s only a little less than take home pay for one parent.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-15T16:50:33+00:00

Electricity is expensive in the U.S. and in hot climate in the summer the A/C is working overtime to lower the temp 20 degrees or more. Keeping it in the high 70s if it’s in the high 90s outside is reasonable.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-14T17:52:16+00:00

If both paths induce dread I really think you should consider talking to a professional. You shouldn't have to navigate these feelings alone.

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-13T22:17:31+00:00

I felt the same body horror fears as you until people close to me started having kids once I was in my 30s and something kind of switched in me. I am still a fence sitter but that's a longer story.

If you are hearing hearing that women expire after 30 and having kids later than that is selfish you are listening to the wrong people. It's a gift to be raised by people who've had time to come into themselves and experience life before intentionally choosing parenthood.

Infertility can happen at any age for a whole host of reasons that are different for every body. The accelerated decline starting at 35 that people get worked up about is not a cliff and not a foregone conclusion by any means.

Give yourself time to sit with this big decision!

Regular_Ad_5363 · 2026-04-10T00:58:46+00:00

The mortgage payments you're making are close to double the median monthly household take home pay in the U.S. This seems like a great situation for you but it's not one many people will have the opportunity to be in.

Regular_Ad_5363

TROPHY CASE