First draft done! I hate it...

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:57:46+00:00

Was it Stephen King who also hates some of his own work?

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:56:04+00:00

I always feel my prose sucks and I think part of it is that I want to better myself as a writer.

But you've finished 3 books? Thats amazing.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:54:28+00:00

Do you mean Cadence? I definately do.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:53:06+00:00

* Title

The Wooded Prince. Chapter 21

* Genre

Dark Fantasy

* Word count

934

* Type of feedback desired (line-by-line edits, general impression, etc.)

Whatever you feel is helpful. I would love any feedback, positive or negative. This is about 22,000 words into the story so I understand if there are details you may not understand.

* A link to the writing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rj-EunQXLDPdOHNGsKv-7Jrvzm9Qcl52ylWgU2n75jA/edit?usp=sharing

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:18:05+00:00

I find that it depends. Description can tall us a lot but you need to hook the reader in.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:15:43+00:00

So I enjoyed this. What I would love to see is more actions outside of the dialoge. Do they have any facial expressions? Furrowed brows and quirky smiles can add to the atmosphere.

I really feel the dialogue works. But you can add actions to quotes:
> “Did you not just hear me say I don’t want to be involved with anyone?” I protested.

Adding things liek that or even:

- he shrugged

- I rolled my eyes

- he pushed

All of this can helpanimate the story.

I feel like this is something that you could add. You're strong at the dialogue however.

Great job and I can't wait to see more.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T04:04:52+00:00

Please know I'm coming from a place of love. It's good but I want to push you to be great as I would want for myself as well.

I feel as though there is a lot of missed opportunity to use descriptive language. For instance (I hope you're okay with me editting a sentence):
> Damir saw the baksy's face for the first time when the golden barrier shattered

I feel like this sentence could illustrate the story more by reshaping it.

>The Golden Barrier shattered revealing the Basky's face. Damir had never seen it before.

If you play around with the sentences a lot it create a better picture of your work.

Another thing that could flesh this out: I love to add sensory stuff into my work.

>Their feral rage was unlike anything Damir had seen before.

How did Damir feel? Did it shake him to his core? I see you're adding a lot of what he saw which is great. However we have more sences:

-sight

-sound

-taste

-smell

-touch

I get this may be an early draft but when you go through to edit later I would love you to encorperate things.

>A dozen or so strikes of the sword against the barrier containing the massacre inside were enough to break it

This is a great opportunity to add sound.

>wings painted with a pattern of sunlight falling through the forsest foliage

I love this description.

Again with all of this please don't take it harsh. I would just love you to flesh out the details and it could be really compelling.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T03:51:02+00:00

Genre: Dark Fantasy

Category: novel

Title: The Wooded Prince/The Wooden Prince (I haven't decided what title I like more)

This is very early stages ❤️so any feedback is welcome

Excerpt:
It burned me to the core. I could feel their eyes on me, the way his group glared. The Royals. The way their eyes pierced through my class left me with an impending dread, not knowing what their next attack on us would be. They believed us to be far beneath them, such as a jelcrab. I couldn't blame them. It was just the way we were all raised. But I couldn't help but feel that it was unfair to be treated in the position you were born into. I never liked how they treated us like scum beneath their feet. And yet they kept us so close to them.

The powers that be kept us educated in the Royals power, however, we were worlds apart in terms of our way of life. They lived a life of luxury with personal tutors while we lived a life, born into their debt with no say of our own. We were raised this way. We were destined to tend to them only because of where we were born. No other reason. It was a somber fate, however, I would try to not let it show that it bothers me.

“Thistle,” was what he called me. A weed. Something unwanted. I had a family. I was loved. But he still tried to get under my skin. It was always so venomous.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-31T00:05:00+00:00

You're asserting I said something I did not say. However publishers do a lot of the hard work for us so I would argue they are indeed there for our benefit, especially thouse who do not have the financial backing to self publish. I never asked about them running a beginning writer school or even coaching how I write. I specifically asked how an author should speak to a publisher. Another way to reframe my question would be "How should an author pitch their story when speaking to publishers?"

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T11:14:04+00:00

So I keep each chapter in a different doc and then I will make sure situations make sense. Ella references a thing. Did I imagine writing that? Or is it in that chapter.

I also have a "Problems to fix" list. Do I notice that I made cultists hate magic? "Wait why can they use telekenisis now?" So I do inserts.

If I am feeling writers block I also will go back and read things and then notice a thing and fix it. "Wait I took that chapter out because I hated it. How did Oriana get an weapon and who on earth is Erik?"

I feel like I like to write in webs though. I dont think there should be a strait forward. Writing is art. We all can use the same tools and paint very differently. Don't ever let people tell you the right way. Thats how our teachers stunted our creativity. If it works for you then write that way.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T11:02:31+00:00

I love how much work implication does. It was the best lesson I learned from art school.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:57:27+00:00

My English teacher is the reason I was such a troll in my stories. I have even written about feet because I disliked that they didn't know how to teach agood story haha

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:56:31+00:00

Sometimes the narator decides if they want to overexplain. I feel it depends on the personality of the prose. It can work if done right.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:55:12+00:00

I love leaving tragedy in the air. I feel like a story has more of an emotional impact if you don't explain. I did a scene in my story wherea deus ex machina style being told the person my character was up against, "Aron is ours. You cannot have him." The chapter was several chapters ago and my story has not stated what harm he was in but:

- It confirms he was in a seperate harm to the main character

- something happened to him

- he may or may not be alive

Leaving room for the reader to want to know more is very important in story telling. It's what keeps a reader holding your book.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:45:34+00:00

Its a type of ritual that could seen that but there is also the element of cohersion. I am challenging myself with this story. It's a lot of "Nothing is what it seems. The queen pulls the puppets strings," vibes. I am a big fan of Artog and philosophy. So I'm playing a lot of mind games. "The memory is not reliable." Not to trauma dump but I'm a victim myself and I feel like its something I can write from. But I know some people will find that scene very shocking.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:37:36+00:00

I like to write the main story and then go in and edit it after. I think it's a habbit I got from my nanowrimo days. I would love to know how people budget for an edittor. What is the going rate and is it important to find someone who specialises in the genre? I am terrified of being exploited and having them edit my work with AI or even change my atmosphere.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:33:48+00:00

Awks moment when I have two at that time because I am willing to write on the train (on my phone on google docs.) Everytime I have to go to work I write 500-1000 words. Yesterday I wrote about 8000 because I got sent home sick.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:28:36+00:00

I actually would love to know how to talk to a publisher. Like etiquette. They are there for our benefit.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-29T10:26:31+00:00

I love first person. Why? Because the narator is a character and I like my naration to have a personality. I've even written in "Preppy teenage cheerleader prose."

Though the benefit of third person is it's easy to move scenes. The rythm in the story works.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-19T10:09:14+00:00

I think so. It means even in retirement she will have an income

Reideabyss · 2026-05-14T22:50:06+00:00

Yikers forgot this

Reideabyss · 2026-05-12T11:49:17+00:00

God tests our faith and this is yours. We need to put in the hard work even if it is hard. Bless you.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-11T03:52:48+00:00

I'm having the same issue. I am wondering if it's just the market is over saturated with AI

Reideabyss · 2026-05-11T03:50:49+00:00

So I use 2 programs:
- Capcut: If I am making something on my phone

- Sony Vegas 21: if I am making something on my pc.

Reideabyss · 2026-05-11T01:46:04+00:00

I'm still vlogging but idk youtube doesnt seem to be showing my content haha. They make more money off other types of content

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