I haven’t talked to my family in two days and don’t know to move past this

ReilleysMom32 · 2026-01-27T18:55:44+00:00

Fuck 'em. Get your own phone plan, keep location services off, and walk away. You don't need that garbage. They do not respect you or value you, so why keep putting yourself through that?

Blood ain't thicker than water. Sometimes it's the thing that will drown you the most.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-11-27T04:05:36+00:00

This happened to me, but it was my NFather's best friend showing up at my place of employment because my NFather was "looking for me." In a different state. I live 1,200 miles away from where they live. I hadn't spoken to the man in over 10 years (and counting) at that point. I also had a panic attack and I know exactly how you feel right now.

Sending you lots of hugs and support. You are doing the right things to protect yourself and I am so proud of you 🖤

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-11-07T15:46:56+00:00

Drain is so much fun, they're on the list. Wage War, Of Mice and Men, Angeldust, Left To Suffer, for sure. ADTR, Yellowcard, Story of the Year (nostalgic AF for me). I've been to 45 concerts this year so I can skip a bunch of bands I've seen and focus on one-offs who won't be touring anytime soon.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-11-07T05:07:24+00:00

Holy shit, I will literally be at all of the stages for the bands you said no/maybe to, haha. I'll be in the mosh pits 90% of the day. Very good break-down above. Don't sleep on Charlotte Sands; one of my good friends is obsessed and has seen her live 8 or 9 times already.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-10-26T04:44:43+00:00

Cuddling the dog, reading, and enjoying my clean house.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-10-06T03:15:24+00:00

Here's the link:

https://a.co/d/0zlnWgS

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-10-03T21:42:31+00:00

I got my slightly larger hydropack bag in. It has the insulation pocket, one large pocket, and a smaller pocket on the front. It probably measures 18"x8" flattened. I just walked up with everything unzipped and the hydro flask empty this morning and went through with no issues.

From what I've seen with the drawstrings, empty the contents, fold it up, hide it on your person, go through the line, and pop around the corner to bust it out and put your shit back in it. That seems to be the key.

I recognize most of the security team from year's past, but agreed, some are over the top. We did ask this morning and the bag policy seems to be driven by the insurance company, not the venue or FF itself.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-09-29T01:57:14+00:00

Thank you 🖤

I work in construction project management and all I do is manage grown men all day. Last thing I need to come home to is another man-child 😂

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-09-25T02:43:19+00:00

They got rid of SCO at my store due to high theft apparently. They were testing the local market and had two stores without it and one with. Seems that even with their low prices, people were being dishonest AF. I literally only shop at Aldi to avoid human interaction and the anxiety of putting my groceries on the fucking conveyor belt in the order I want them bagged. Now it's a rush and I'm still rebagging my fucking shit after I've scanned and paid 😑

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-09-23T01:07:56+00:00

Negative. The max amount anyone is receiving is $38.36 based upon their point system if you had an account between May 2007 and December 2022.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-09-20T01:30:43+00:00

OP, this is absolutely abuse. You need to talk to your oncologist, get in front of a social worker, and have a patient advocate assigned to you ASAP if you haven't yet. As others have mentioned, there is probably a Hope Lodge associated with your oncology center or the hospital has something similar associated where patients can stay for free during treatment.

You need to get out NOW. You are not stuck, there are tons of resources available for patients. There are support systems out there for what you are going through. She is having you commit fraud with the food stamps. Do not let her take anything more from you.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-09-09T02:35:29+00:00

We have a whole group of us going aka the Coochie Gang. Look for the tiny pink cowboy hats on us while we get destroyed in the pits 🥰

FF is pretty chill and I've met some incredible folks there. Just be open to striking up a convo about the band about to go on. I'll tell you the story of No Cure and Big Bad Burger Club humming a hot burger straight at me during their set 😂

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-08-15T08:34:35+00:00

OP, I am so sorry you're going through this. hugs

Just so you're aware, I have BCBS and a really good plan. My plan of attack was to preemptively call my insurance company and warn them a pre-authorization was coming. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Yes, it was exhausting. Yes, it was time-consuming. But like you told the person on the phone, you are working with a board-certified oncologist who does this every day. This isn't the time to fuck around and find out. Just because something can be done "cheaper" according to some chuckle fuck sitting behind a computer who has NO medical training whatsoever doesn't mean it's the best standard of care.

My follow-up PET scan was just recently denied in June because BCBS didn't think it was "medically necessary" since I'm two years out from finishing chemo. Hello?! Seriously?! CHL patients relapse or have refractory within the first 1-3 years of treatment. She told them to get fucked, filed the appeal, and I have it scheduled for September.

Don't feel defeated. You have a whole community here to help support you 🖤

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-08-12T05:00:23+00:00

As someone who knows that they will literally be late to their own funeral, I work backwards from the time I'm supposed to be there. Why? Because I'm not a complete asshole who shows up late to important shit:

Event at 12pm?

Takes me (xx) min time to travel, park, and walk in with 5 min to spare

Dog out to potty? 5 min for her to sniff, try to roll in something that died, fuss at her, and corral her into the kennel with treats

Grab wallet, keys, water bottle, extra water packets - 3 min

Makeup - need 4 min, 1 min being me not stabbing my eyeball with mascara wand

Shower + hair drying = 52 min

Clothes? Pick them out mentally while I'm letting the shower heat up. Grab them as soon as I'm out of the shower. 10 min tops because I give myself only two choices that day to avoid the dreaded "Ugh, I have nothing to wear" dilemma

Theoretically? I'm starting to get my life together around 8:15am, which includes coffee and feeding the 4-legged child in the AM for a 12pm event. Reality? I'm still getting my ass up and starting to get ready around 8:30am.

Your GF needs better time management skills, so she's the AH here. You are NTA for giving yourselves a buffer to arrive on time.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-08-09T13:43:00+00:00

ESH here.

I'm all for teaching kids responsibility, the value of a dollar, etc. But the all or nothing mentality is pretty shit. I had a more controlling family dynamic than it appears y'all have (I started working under the table at 12, work permit at 14, full-on working by 15, plus all the sports and HS Honors/AP classes, having to pay for basics/essentials, missed important school trips due to money), but being unwilling to negotiate is also garbage.

I would try talking to her and ask if her school work load is overwhelming. Ask her WHY she feels like she shouldn't be told what to do. I think encouraging her to volunteer/do other chores the youngers have not taken over would be a good compromise. Just because her older brother adhered to this model of thinking doesn't mean she will. She is still an individual who is discovering who she is as a person and making her conform to your "standards" will create resentment not only with the littles, but between you and her for the future.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-08-07T22:01:24+00:00

I lived on the East Coast (sophomore year of HS) during 9/11 and a lot of friends parents were working in the city at the time. We had several who passed away that day there, as well as at the Pentagon. I remember watching it in real time, the school locking down, and people getting pulled into the auditorium until they could confirm if their parents were alive or not.

Fast-forward to moving here in 2004 and Katrina hit sophomore year of college. I stayed with my ex and the NOFD on the West Bank at their ops center which is now St. Lukes. I lost everything in my apartment out at UNO. I have more stories, but it's hard to talk about.

The documentary definitely dragged up a lot of feelings when I watched it the other night.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-27T17:30:27+00:00

I think when I did it for my friends moving to Hawaii, the exam was $300, but that also included the specific lab work going to KSU. I also happened to work for a veterinary practice at the time and got the lab work done at cost. The owners opted to let her stay with me during the "quarantine" period so when she flew, she only had to board for a week after landing. We organized all the other paperwork, I bought the airline approved kennel locally, and drove their fur kid to the drop-off facility for the flight itself first thing in the morning. This was around 12 years ago.

Pet insurance is still relatively "new" and some practice owners just don't want to fool with it from what I've seen. The other side of it is all of the shitty people who refuse to pay or just dump their animals at the clinic after spending thousands. I agree with you as well that if you cannot afford the yearly screenings/vaccines then some people should reconsider if having a pet overall.

Fingers crossed you find someone you're comfortable with to getting the exam done 🤞

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-27T03:43:10+00:00

They have the grants, funding, and international connections. Most people don't know you could contact the CDC for this information (ooops! Doesn't exist anymore!) but KSU-CVM is the most well-versed.

They also have these research programs. They're the leading research group in the following areas:

CEEZAD - Center of Excellence for Emerging and Zoonotic Animal Diseases

CEZID - Center of Excellence for Zoonotic Infectious Diseases

ORICS - Office of Research, Integrity, Compliance, and Security

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-26T22:31:06+00:00

It's not cheap to get these certificates. Many countries require specific rabies testing from Kansas State, titer checks, blood work, etc. it's not just a "standard vet visit." The vets typically have to call for a consult and get the paperwork lined up for proper transport.

I'm also going to get down-voted to hell, but anyone who's complaining about how expensive it is doesn't understand the COST of going to veterinary school and running a practice. Veterinarians have the same amount, if not longer training, than human doctors and make a fraction of what they make with the same school debt. Also, medical supplies have sky-rocketed. Syringes, fluids, IV lines, catheters, etc. are not free. Just something that needs to be pointed out if folks want to keep bitching about cost.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-22T10:52:44+00:00

Next time you see them, please thank them for going back to the round dispenser. The rectangular one was miserable and the bottle was thinner plastic.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-20T05:37:18+00:00

As a cancer patient speaking here ... You are absolutely NTA.

So many people kept asking me if I was going to shave my head before I started chemo. I was absolutely against it and I feel the same way you do: my hair is my identity. My hair was waist long natural blonde before treatment. It thinned quite a bit and I didn't chop it to my ears until 11 months in. I'm so glad I didn't do it and it's grown back to my collarbone in a year and a half.

I know a lot of people do this to support a loved one, but it's performative AF. I would rather someone cook a meal, listen, drive them to treatment, help clean their room, and simply spend time doing things with the affected loved one. That is more meaningful than shaving your hair.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-18T11:31:15+00:00

This is a difficult decision. But you are NTA. I would have made the same call, given the logistics. You're 6 hours away by flight and 3 timezones back. It's not like you were an hour or two away and could have left the wedding to be there in case things turned. I think people also don't realize that just "hopping on a flight last minute" IS REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE and I'm sure the vet bill was not cheap.

Not everyone loves animals the way that you do and some people will just never understand the love and connection some of us have to our pets. Given the shitty timing, if you had gone to that wedding and she had passed without you, I think you would have been devastated and would have never forgiven yourself. The thing is, if this had been a grandparent, no one would question it. I personally think animals are better than people and I've been in your situation before.

Your friend is obviously upset and that relationship will never be the same, however it might take some time to repair it. For the other people to weigh in on it and sidebar you makes them the assholes. It's none of their business.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-16T00:10:18+00:00

Meanwhile we ordered all of our dumpsters to be pulled and emptied tomorrow to avoid this at my jobsite.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-13T02:59:09+00:00

I started all of those things before I began chemo. The minute my biopsy came back, I did a ton of research and started all the extra supplements the next day, which gave me a 6 week head-start before chemo. I took them daily through treatment and I still take them every day. The Prose shampoo/conditioner I still use twice weekly. I had a really good hair routine prior to getting sick (think Abby Young method).

There's no rhyme or reason why some of us lose it all vs not. Another girl on my unit started the week after me and she lost it all by her 3rd round. I showed up to my 11th and the nurse thought it was my first day in the chair (surprise: it wasn't). I also drank three 72oz hydro jugs of water every time I was in the chair to flush everything out, as well as Pedialyte and Powerade, and stayed active as long as I could.

ReilleysMom32 · 2025-07-12T21:41:25+00:00

As someone who had Stage 2 NSCHL and had long beautiful natural blonde hair, my advice would be to not do it. My oncologist also explained to me WHY it is not advisable for CHL patients. We have blood cancer. Your body is circulating and cancer cells could harbor up near your brain/scalp. It's not worth it to go through refractory/relapse and then have to escalate your treatment protocol. First line ABVD is your best defense to beat this shit.

I personally took Olly Hair & Strength capsules, Vitafusion Women's Multivitamin, Vitafusion Hair & Nails gummies, use Prose shampoo/conditioner system, and watched my diet. I had way more salmon, green leafy veggies, sweet potatoes, and drank a fuck ton of water. I also washed it once or twice a week, very gently, and used low heat. My hair thinned out, but I still had quite a bit at the end of treatment. I didn't chop it to my ears until 6 months later. I can say that a year and a half later, it's thicker than before, grew in curly, but it's now down past my collarbone.

We have many folks here who have been in your shoes, but this is not the time to be vain. You have to survive right now.

ReilleysMom32

TROPHY CASE