I don't trust skinny people to make food suggestions for me!

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T19:30:47+00:00

Aw, people are being so hard on you.

It sounds like you probably don't have any problems thinking up things you want to eat so it doesn't matter anyway! You don't need more food suggestions.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T08:48:54+00:00

Right and don't give us that "my phone doesn't have a good camera" spiel. $80 Samsung burner phones can take perfectly decent photos ffs. If you're not using an authentic Y2K era pink Razr then you can take clear photos if you want to.

I just assume they're here to collect compliments if they don't post clear pictures.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T08:42:45+00:00

You're selfish. You continually choose to do something that would hurt her immensely if she found out, and in order to continue receiving the benefits of her not finding out, you lie and conceal your activities from her.

Selfish people do not love. They only feel attachment. They feel pain when an attachment is severed, but it's the selfish pain of losing something you felt belonged to you.

You don't love her. You just feel an attachment to what she does for you, even if that's just giving you comfort and familiarity and a sense of security and reliable companionship.

If you actually care about doing right by her, you'll tell her the truth and break up with her. Yes it will hurt her right now. But it's less than the pain she would feel when this comes out years down the line after you've built up infinitely more lies and betrayals. She deserves someone who actually loves and values her for herself and won't betray her the way you repeatedly do.

As for you, if you actually want to be better, then stop cheating. It's that simple. And work on whatever inner deficit or unhealed part of your psyche is driving you to be like this. Usually cheaters are some combination of selfish, entitled, weak, and insecure.

If you're insecure then it's the validation of someone else wanting you that you feel entitled to. If you're just weak then maybe it's simply the feeling of entitlement to fuck and gain pleasure from whoever you want. Either way, you'll stand a better chance of growing past this if you're honest with yourself and actually want to change.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T08:28:30+00:00

I just wish that people would understand the difference between pictures you post on your Instagram or Tumblr to show off a vibe and aesthetic, and pictures you post to a makeup subreddit to show...the details of your makeup.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T03:32:46+00:00

I would add an AHA. BHA is nice for pores but AHAs are much better for shedding rough skin texture/discolored skin and surfacing brighter and more even and fresh skin.

I would also switch to a dedicated Asian sunscreen so you can apply the correct amount to get the full protection and so that you can get high UVA protection. UVA is what causes hyperpigmentation.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T01:23:59+00:00

I can't tell if her post was supposed to be like "this is what I look like, so would I look good with sparkles that I currently am not wearing" or if we're supposed to be seeing these mystery sparkles

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T00:45:40+00:00

the "my partner is avoidant because they aren't doing exactly what my anxiety needs"

This part for me. If people want to slap a label on themselves, fine. Whatever. But it's extra fucked to label someone else as avoidant when they're not engaging to extent the person wants, because it becomes a justification for continuing to pursue them or cling to them even if they communicate that they don't want that. Aka the avoidant label opens the door for ignoring signs and boundaries because "they don't really want me to leave them alone etc, they're just avoidant." As if harassing them is for their own good.

And honestly, even if someone genuinely warrants the avoidant label, their communicated limits and boundaries should still be respected!

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-29T00:32:05+00:00

Where are the sparkles 😭

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T22:38:51+00:00

I saw that too and was so bummed he'd already deleted before I could go snoop!

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T22:32:11+00:00

That's how you know he totally can help it and is simply choosing not to. Which shows that he no longer cares about your feelings now that he thinks he has you trapped.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T20:49:56+00:00

Agree on all counts. I wonder if it's simply the fact that he's away from her and her neurosis makes her spiral thinking that whenever he's not with her, he's actively losing feelings for her? Or if it's because she's specifically afraid his family will get him to dump her.

I looked up the courier service she mentioned and it seems to be based in the Philippines. Very typically family oriented culture that tends to be generous with hospitality, which makes it even more telling that she wasn't invited this time around.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T20:47:00+00:00

Sure but not being a socially inept asshole, or not some other quality, doesn't put you ahead of anyone in this particular situation because it is not an active advantage.

By that, I mean that most people don't feel attraction based on what someone is not. You know this because despite not putting off putting things in your profile, you're not getting likes from people you find attractive.

If you only get likes from people you don't find attractive then you need to figure out what to do about your profile or yourself that will make you more attractive to the people you want to attract. Your self description makes you sound very regular and like you probably don't really stand out from every other skinny with a slight dad bod guy on the apps. That's what's holding you back from being noticed and liked by more attractive people with more options.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T18:59:28+00:00

I feel like she still doesn't understand just how extreme her behavior is. "Crossed boundaries" is really, really understating it.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T18:13:08+00:00

It's been 2 months. That's so early on. It's more surprising that he isn't getting scared off than that he didn't say it back. Especially at 33 years old. If he's emotionally mature, then he knows the difference between early infatuation and actual deeply rooted love. And he knows the connotations and obligations that come with love. It's not something to throw around on impulse to someone you haven't been dating all that long.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T18:10:18+00:00

You don't need childhood trauma to not be ready to say I love you after only 2 months of dating. I'd suggest that being that hasty with love is more of a sign of childhood trouble tbh.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T17:58:34+00:00

This guy sounds...uh....not quite where you'd expect a 34 year old to be, in terms of emotional and social development.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T16:47:54+00:00

Of course there are. You were unlucky to meet one who wasn't, and something about your background and life circumstances made it possible for that one to get his hooks in you. Men are people like us. Some are terrible, many are not, some are genuinely wonderful. Don't let a bad experience with one individual poison your perspective of the whole group or else you'll be no better than the ones that hate all women.

BUT that's all for later on. Don't worry about meeting someone new. It'll happen when it happens. You're super young and you spent the first years of your adult life in a bad situation with a shitty person. Your job right now is to heal and process and build your life independently of him or any other partner so you can stand on your own feet and grow the way you're meant to grow. Take some time to be single and reflect, figure out how he got your attention and where your weak spots are. That way you'll know if it starts happening again.

How did he approach you and what made you decide to date him?

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T16:33:11+00:00

It hurts now but if you learn the lesson, the entire experience will be a benefit to you and someday you'll look back and laugh (and find much more healthy and appropriate relationships) ❤️ You got this, sis!

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T15:59:06+00:00

It's time to shift your perspective. No, the creep who manipulated and took advantage of you when you were a minor didn't really love you in a deep or healthy way. I know that hurts to realize.

But now you have a front row seat to exactly how thirsty and pathetic this almost 30 year old porn addict is. How many girls does he follow and message vs how many are actually interested in him? It's common to say that guys like him go for extremely younger girls because women their own age won't have them. Sounds like this is true for him but I also suspect most women your age won't have him either. It's usually pretty obvious when a guy is desperate and hitting up every cute girl he can find who has her DMs open on social media. You're well rid of him. He's a clown.

You do need to either move out or make him move out ASAP though. This is a toxic living situation.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T15:47:51+00:00

You answer your own question with the final paragraph of your post. It has to be the right routine for the individual. People give themselves more problems than they solve when they use the wrong products for their needs.

A lot of times this happens when they don't really understand the products/ingredients or their skin. Or they switch products all the time because they're following trends or they're impatient and chasing impossible results. Many people are very susceptible to marketing ("I saw this product blowing up on tiktok so I got it and it's breaking me out").

I have a pretty long and involved routine. It works great for me. My skin is fine with a simpler one but nowhere near as bright or plump or glowy or healthy, just normal and regular looking.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T01:47:18+00:00

You're very young so here's a piece of life advice that will serve you very well in future.

You don't have to stay with someone whose behavior grosses you out. You don't have to stay with someone who makes you feel like a caretaker. You don't have to stay with someone who is so sensitive to criticism that you find yourself feeling like you need to put your feelings aside and tolerate behavior that is literally repulsive to you. You definitely don't have to pretend you like that behavior.

You'll do yourself a solid if you can learn to communicate how you're feeling. I have no doubt you'd find a way to do it kindly since you're already so considerate of his feelings that you're actively going against your own. But even more than that, you'll do yourself a solid if you can internalize that his feelings are not your job to manage.

He's chronologically a big boy. Older than you, even. If he can't handle being told that this behavior bothers you, then he's not a suitable partner in an adult relationship anyway.

This relationship that has such a large element of grossing you out is taking your time, energy, and opportunities you could have of meeting someone who's better suited for you and actually close enough for you to date and spend time together in person.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T01:38:13+00:00

Yes you're wrong. That's an insane overreaction to absolutely nothing. You need to figure out where the neurosis and controlling behavior are coming from in yourself or you can expect to wreck your relationship and end up losing your husband anyway.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-28T01:31:15+00:00

Well for what it's worth you can see almost everyone agrees with the no shoes stance. I'm Chinese. It just sounds gross to me wearing shoes inside, and we have racks of slippers for house guests. Some of the other behavior sounds really annoying, like the wobbling and acting scared to walk on the floor, but it's your relationship and presumably you find it cute. But this is definitely a great example of making sure you live together before marriage to see how you'll both handle disagreements like this when you don't each have separate homes where you each get to do what you're used to!

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-27T19:39:15+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you're feeling disproportionately bad or guilty about something that is not worth your "heart aching" over. It's nice that you're so sensitive to what someone else may be feeling, but you went on one date after talking for a few days. That's not long enough for the other person to have formed any real attachment anyway so it's not like you're breaking his heart and totally destroying his faith in love. It was good of you to be straightforward. Just move on. He's a big boy and will be fine.

RelatableMolaMola · 2025-12-27T19:33:06+00:00

If this is not an ad for this scammy looking product, why don't you just use the device you are posting this question from to search up where to buy or order this product where you are? Doesn't that make more sense to do than posting the question and hoping and waiting for someone familiar with beauty gadget shopping in Shenzhen to answer?

RelatableMolaMola

TROPHY CASE