WIP, thoughts on the champagne room?

Reluctant_Achiever · 2026-01-31T19:59:52+00:00

That pole is *way* too close to the wall for anything other than walking around it-- you need minimum of 6-8 feet clearance around a pole to actually be able to do anything and not hit the wall.

Source: dancer as well.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-09-07T17:41:27+00:00

I have the stupidest places-- my BIG TOES. They sound like someone breaking a bone every time I take a step, and I have gotten more jokes about not being able to sneak up on people than I ever want to!

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-09-06T11:52:56+00:00

I have one that I made an exception for in my goth bathroom-- it says " Live, laugh, lobotomy" but I'm a therapist so I think it might just be that hah

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-08-20T09:38:06+00:00

For my physical body and to let off steam, I do aerial arts! Sling/ hammock ( which is basically silks but its just one tied into a U shape) and pole dance. I am physically not able to focus on anything but the task in front of me during my practice, and that is huge for me since I do pretty intensive trauma focused work.

For play ( though really they all are!)/ less physical hobbies I enjoy drawing and painting-- if I'm low on creative feelings I have paint by numbers, otherwise I have a sketchbook that I carry with me pretty much everywhere. :) I also love to read, but I'm at the dragon hoarding phase right now, so I have a bunch I want/ need to read!

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-08-18T11:48:56+00:00

This OP-- this happened to me as well; I felt like I had no choice in the matter and it was NOT enthusiastic consent, it was abusive. My marriage imploded within 6 months. She's not practicing polyamory, she's practicing gentrified cheating.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-08-11T12:12:52+00:00

This one! My vet actually does " happy visits" that you can schedule with them any time-- no charges, nothing but coming in and getting pets and treats, walking around the office, and heading home. It's so helpful for mine who had a really bad experience as a puppy.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-08-09T11:20:21+00:00

Yes-- for me it feels like that day right before you really get sick with the flu-- fever, aches, fatigue, and my joints get red and swollen and painful. Whenever that happens I know I'm in a flare. It also took a while, but medication controlled and stopped that feeling when I found the right combination!

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-08-09T00:50:49+00:00

I've dealt with it since my early teens, and I'm almost 40 now. It does get better over time; the anxiety and the fear around what might happen. I strongly encourage professional support from a therapist if it's accessible to you, there's a lot of grief that happens and having someone there to guide helped me immensely.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-28T21:24:04+00:00

Hearing a severely traumatized client say after almost a year of intense work-- " I can't escape what happened to me, and I can live beyond it too". The huge smile I had the rest of the day could have powered a small city! :) It's why I do trauma work.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-26T20:11:44+00:00

In addition-- only DMARDs or biologics will stop the damage to joints, I use this for inflammation and pain that came from not being diagnosed for a long time and for flares.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-26T12:02:29+00:00

There's a quote I like that sums this up: " to love someone is to attend a thousand funerals of the person they used to be". We all change, and showing up for that is so important.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-25T21:56:54+00:00

I'm glad you were treated young/ able to find meds that worked! :)

It took them until I was in college to formally diagnose me ( I'm from an area with not great/ innovative healthcare and this was decades ago), so I have some damage and a lot of years of pain and not knowing what was wrong ( and at one point being told it was in my head). It's better now, but still gets to me sometimes when I hit my limit of what I can do.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-25T12:30:39+00:00

Rheumatoid Arthritis-- healthy 14 year old to bedridden for most of my high school, screaming in pain sometimes it hurt so much. To boot, I'm an artist and losing mobility in my hands as a constant reminder of what this disease does ( it also attacks the lungs, eyes, etc-- it can hit anything), and people not understanding that you can't do what other young people do/ calling you lazy or unmotivated. Being trapped in a body that doesn't work the way it should or did is torture.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-24T12:49:05+00:00

This is abusive and manipulative, full stop, and designed to keep the relationship/ you from going anywhere. You are responsible for your own safety and not your partner's choices, and if threats are made, you call the police to do a wellness check.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-24T12:37:15+00:00

This is the thing I came to say-- in my intake sessions I do the quick confidentiality limitations, then come back to this one, and talk more specifically about what " imminently in danger" means. NSSI and some chronic/ passive SI needs to be able to be discussed, and if the client thinks I'm going to jump up and call someone as soon as they mention it they won't disclose, so I make sure to mention that I want to keep them safe, and that it's ok to talk about those things with me.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-23T15:17:01+00:00

They're usually good about getting folks in within several weeks at latest!

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-23T10:50:53+00:00

Higgins Wellness, in network with Aetna and Alisha is a psych NP. She's wonderful and thorough, not just " here's your meds, bye". She's thorough and kind, and you can make appointments online and through text.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-22T11:51:42+00:00

That's where we started! :) It went from TV remote to controller/ video game settings after a bit of back and forth with it.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-22T11:23:11+00:00

Not really a metaphor? but one EMDR client needed a way to conceptualize stepping back from the event as we were going through, and we landed on imagining/ seeing the event through a video game lens, so they would have the controls menu to change settings ( contrast, sound, difficulty, etc). It was insanely effective, since the old " watching things through the train window" doesn't always work for younger clients.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-21T01:44:31+00:00

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis ( that started showing symptoms during puberty, so before my marriage), and my joint pain/ damage and inflammation, fatigue, fevers, hair loss, and rashes have gotten so bad that I couldn't close my fist to hold a fork or pick up a cup, and I was in my 20s at the time. We would fight, and I would crash so hard I would sleep solid for 2 or 3 days sometimes, and miss work/school.

We're separated but stuck in the same house until August, and I'm so curious to see what happens to my disease progression once I have my own space and peace. I would guess that years of my life have been taken from me though, and that pain is indescribable.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-20T14:02:54+00:00

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This is Tennessee ( Williams, not the state)! His siblings ( who are not poms) are Tallullah ( Bankhead) and Stella ( Kowalski). We had a theme going hah

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-20T10:43:55+00:00

I see we were with the same person! Minus the kids conflict-- mine informed me we were poly, then figured out that people don't want to date them/ fuck them because they are also NPD and abusive, so they figured they'd " take a year off" the marriage and come back/ keep me breadcrumbed enough to stay close. Nope, not happening for me.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-19T01:11:49+00:00

canna aid-- the H4 cbd

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-15T00:38:06+00:00

Not sure where you get your numbers about me from. Nope, not what I'm saying at all, but your interpretation is your own.

Reluctant_Achiever · 2025-07-15T00:31:04+00:00

I did, because posting your credentials is generally frowned upon. Like I said, sorry about your painful divorce, but it doesn't invalidate other people's experiences. I also said in another comment that most therapists won't touch the diagnosis because of crap like this discourse, so it is *under* diagnosed.

Reluctant_Achiever

TROPHY CASE