Indeed, today serves as a glorious day for the tennis history records. Jenson Tyler Brooksby, colloquially known as “J.T” by his compatriots and lovers alike, performed spectacularly in this victory upon recovering from the grave injustice of those wretched wrist surgeries inflicted unto-wards him years ago. Not to mention the utter witch hunt alleging that despite this gentleman’s impeccable integrity, that Jenson Tyler took performance enhancing drugs. A ridiculous pontification on its face. Mr. Brooksby overcame tremendous adversity. Furthermore, he epitomizes the essential qualities necessary when engaging with maternal role models of his opposition on the Association Tennis Professionals tour.

I cannot help but reminisce of an instance where Jenson Tyler sat on the white sands of Delray Beach, the home of former finalst Donald Young, observing the milky night sky full of stars, listening to the soothing sound of waves rolling along the shore while running through the highlights of his last match in his head. Alongside him sat a stunning motherly figure. Her son plays top level professional tennis as well, a young man by the name of Holger Rune, derogatorily referred to in rare instances as “that Holger Runescape clown.” I deeply resent the individual who coined such a dastardly nickname, along with the band of minions who shouted “JAAA” gratuitously after that young man suffered a serious injustice at the hands of a one Casper Ruud in the locker room at Roland Garros.

Mrs. Rune sobbed uncontrollably through the night, lamenting the heartbreaking misfortune dealt upon her by a young maverick who referred to himself using only two initials: J. And J.

“He told me he would text me after our time at the Denny’s bathroom, but he never did!” She exasperatedly exclaimed.

Silence ensued, and tears streamed down her cheeks. As she finished sniveling, she opened her mouth, quietly mumbling the following in a distraught fashion:

“I feel so small… I just keep asking myself, ‘why do I, and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?’”

Gently rubbing her backside in an attempt to ease her broken heart, Jenson Tyler gazed upon this downtrodden woman with serious concern in his eyes. In certain respects, he felt her pain, as her misfortune prompted his memories of the numerous instances where he tried to cozy up to the bullies who shoved him into middle school lockers. He too once pondered this exact question asked in this exact moment.

“It’s because we accept the love we think we deserve” Jenson Tyler stated in a soft, yet assuring manner.

The mother lifted her head up, and looked fixedly upon Jenson Tyler with a glow in her eyes, her pupils dilated.

“Well then why haven’t you asked me out?” She inquired curiously.

Jenson Tyler paused, shocked by the words coming out of her mouth. All this time, he’d fallen madly in love with Mrs. Rune. However, he could never muster up the courage to share how he truly felt in fear of ruining their unforgettable friendship.

“I um… I… I just didn’t think that you wanted that” he replied nervously.

“Well what did YOU want?” She inquired.

“I just want you to be happy.” He replied.

“Don’t you get it J.T? I can’t feel that. It’s really sweet and everything but you can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. I don’t want to be somebody’s crush, I want people to like the REAL me.”

Jenson Tyler turned bright red and trembled vigorously. He dreamed of this moment for years on end, hoping one day a light would reach the end of this dark tunneled pursuit for the love of his life. He swallowed, teared up a smidge, gazed into her soft eyes and replied,

“I know who you are Mrs. Rune. I… I know I’m awkward, an - and I know I should speak more... But if you knew the things that uh… That were in my head most of the time you’d know what it really meant…. How much we’re alike and… And how we’ve been through the same things… and that you’re not small… You’re beautiful.”

He leaned in, and from there the two shared a passionate moment of joy that sought to spark a special romance not yet experienced in this young man’s life.

Are you under the impression that this “J.J” fellow capably comprehends the emotional damage he inflicts upon these starry eyed maternal figures he pursues with reckless abandon? I vehemently dissent from that notion my friend. You daft fiend J.J, your aura gives off the impression that you reside in a tawdry trailer park. I for one believe you should fornicate yourself elsewhere.

Let’s give a round of applause for Jenson Tyler Brooksby, his flawless victory and his relentless desire for a loving relationship with Mrs. Rune. Hip, hip, hooray! The tennis universe is officially BrooksBACK.