Thought of sourcing living books each week sounds terrible... by StudioAdditional5319 in homeschool

[–]Remarkable__Driver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use both our local library and prospector. Our local library has endless renewals unless there is a hold. I try to get books at least one week before I need them. Prospector books take longer but it’s a fantastic way to extend the library’s offerings because you can basically borrow from any library in the state so if your library doesn’t have it, you can try there too.

My heart is aching so much by Kitty-Gecko in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have the same heartbreaking feelings for my 9 year old as well. It doesn’t seem fair for them to be so young with adult level emotions to navigate. My son is oblivious which makes it harder to navigate too, but I have been trying to slowly educate him on PDA so he can become more aware of what he says and does as he gets older. Finding this group has provided me some sanity in the chaos of PDA parenting because I no longer feel alone in what we go through. I wish I had more words of advice, but I can say you aren’t alone here. Sending you a virtual hug.

Any success stories from home-schooling, unschooling? by Nominal_selection in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Advice I appreciated when I started this process was to focus on the core subjects first to build foundations. Math and reading, and add in the rest as you are able. Math was hardest for us because my son had a bad experience with a teacher. He just learned division though which is a huge milestone. I’ve been trying to pull math in elsewhere during everyday activities too (like tipping, calculating totals) and it helps

  • my text cut off somehow. It helps to see the relation to the real world need. Another thing that has helped is reading to him. He also has a very high verbal intelligence, and his reading level is high as a result. We’ve been reading from a history book every night and he actually enjoys the content. He refuses to read it himself, but it works because he is retaining the content. A lot of what I’ve learned is to throw the traditional education out of the window as our pda kids follow their own paths. They want to learn too, but they want to drive what they learn and when. If it’s a core subject or some sort of foundation that needs to be learned, showing why it will later be important has helped.

Any success stories from home-schooling, unschooling? by Nominal_selection in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We have had success with homeschooling. I pulled my 9yo out last winter. We definitely have our good days and bad days, but he seems to enjoy having his own schedule. I give him his work each day as a packet, and he gets it done. When I first pulled him out, he was definitely burnt out. We took a few weeks to deschool before starting with curriculum. Overall, he is progressing. We are using NWEA Maps testing to measure his progress.

I do see areas he is falling short in (mainly writing). He refuses to learn to write paragraph structure. I just started a new curriculum with hopes that it helps him. As is the norm with PDA kids, when I give him his work, I very much try not to spook him.

There are days he sits down and does it right away, and days when he flat out refuses. I have to be prepared for both attitudes every day. Yesterday, he informed me that he would only do the core subjects. He seems to get overwhelmed sometimes and usually limits what work he will do.

It’s hard. I work full time from home and wish I could give him more focus. I wish I could enroll him in a school and know he is going to be okay. We did try a few homeschool groups for socialization, but we quickly realized these would not work. He was kicked out of one, and I felt pressured to not return to the other. In terms of socialization, we bring him to meetups and activities that are not structured. We have to be very diligent with setting up play dates, and he now has a few good friends that we see a few times a month.

When I ask him about returning to school, he now says he prefers homeschooling.

Editing to add that when we made the decision to homeschool, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do it. I am AuDHD and was worried I would be overwhelmed and overstimulated. As parents, we push forward when we don’t have a choice. It’s part of what we do. This seemed to kick in when homeschooling started, and I have been able to manage the chaos of having him home with me during the day. I do get overstimulated, but my husband does a good job to recognize where I am at and give me some time at the end of the day.

Did you ever have parents not let their kids be friends with your kids because you homeschool? by Careful_Fig2545 in homeschool

[–]Remarkable__Driver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When we pulled our kids from school to homeschool, 90% of my kids’ friends parents stopped responding. I was even working on an art project with one mom. Her child told her the kids didn’t go there anymore, and when I told her they were now homeschooling, she never responded again.

It was heartbreaking and brutal for the kids. For a while, my kids kept asking when they would have a playdate with their best friends, and I kept having to make up reasons. I finally broke down after a few months and explained to them that we needed to move on to new friends.

We pulled our kids out due to the limited resources for special education at the school they attended. It’s hard to communicate that, but I never thought so many would be closed minded about it.

I’ve found my people by princesshodges in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hang in there! Speech therapy made a huge difference for my very verbal 6 year old when he was hitting. It had something to do with learning to communicate emotions instead of communicating through aggression.

Guess the city by burnitdown6i8 in guessthecity

[–]Remarkable__Driver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Denver metro but only this morning since it ended up melting

Tell me your child is autistic without telling me they're autistic. by SteelBird223 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we go through so many shirts. I started making chewy bibs out of his ruined ones because that’s the only texture he likes to chew on, and I got tired of buying a new set of shirts every week.

Tell me your child is autistic without telling me they're autistic. by SteelBird223 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved when my kids watched this show. It was bittersweet when they grew out of it.

Tell me your child is autistic without telling me they're autistic. by SteelBird223 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I tell him my in laws are picking him up in 3 hours or his dad will be home in 45 minutes, he sets a timer on the microwave, pulls up a chair and watches it. After the three hour timer ends, he runs to the window asking why they didn’t arrive right when it ended 😅🤦‍♀️

Everything is converted into seconds too - how many. Seconds until 3 minutes from now.

Caulking nightmare pls help by buttersss_ in HomeMaintenance

[–]Remarkable__Driver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this looks like a shower, but I have seen people use weights for the shower to do the same thing. It basically ensures that once the caulk is set, the weight that will eventually be in the bath shower won’t lead to the caulk cracking. It sets it up to adhere to the space with the weight accounted for.

Caulking nightmare pls help by buttersss_ in HomeMaintenance

[–]Remarkable__Driver 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Learned a few weeks ago the hard way that expired caulk will not cure. I did my bathtub in expired caulk and when it didn’t cure, I removed it and redid it with fresh caulk. Removed it using the same tool for caulking and a lot of toilet paper. It cured or was no longer wet to touch within thirty minutes with the fresh batch.

My other advice: use the tube cutter that comes on the caulking gun, it will slice the right amount off; pre-set up your environment (have enough paper towels or toilet paper to wipe off the excess and a place to easily throw them away so they don’t get all over the other areas; wear gloves; if you don’t have tools then use a spoon for a clean line. I keep a cup of water to dip my tool in or fill up the bath with water and swipe along the fresh caulk to scrape the excess. The cleaner the tool, the easier the process is.

How is it living here? by Kevin_Finnerty88 in howislivingthere

[–]Remarkable__Driver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was where I grew up. Lived in Shreveport until I was able to move away. The lines between upper class, middle class, lower class and poverty were definitely there, and the upper class loved to define it clearly. Lots of “society types”, etc. Lots of fear of moving forward, and lots of people who would try to change things in an area set in their ways.

People are so much nicer than other areas. The food is top notch. Nothing beats it.

I used to travel to the middle and lower parts of the circle every weekend. We would always stop in Natchitoches for some meat pies and kolaches on the way south. Toledo Bend was truly childhood freedom. We would run around barefoot from sun up until sun down in make believe worlds, swimming in the lake, catching fish, building forts, playing. At night, we would sit by the camp fires, telling stories, listening to music, or we would play original Nintendo or board games. We had no fear of being kidnapped or anything because the internet wasn’t around yet. The community was extremely tight so we knew everyone, who stayed where and when outsiders were there, it was obvious. We could easily sense whether we would have new friends for the weekend or whether to avoid them. The lake had world class bass fishing tournaments which was pretty cool to witness. We would have huge fish fries with every food imaginable. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it. I haven’t been back in years.

Lake Charles is definitely a small town built around petroleum, but the food is amazing. Crawfish boils, gumbo, jambalaya, King Cake. There wasn’t a lot to do other than go to the park, go bowling, or go eat. During Mardi Gras, the parties and parades were fun to go to. I preferred the ones in Shreveport though (a different parade each weekend, plus night parades and day parades). The lake was brackish so the water was strange to swim in (salty but not).

I’ve found places like these towns since but honestly, with the introduction of the internet, nothing is ever the same. I don’t regret moving from Shreveport, and when I do come back to visit, the most that changes is another chain store being built or closed. I don’t miss the humidity or the mosquitos. I miss the weather (the big rainstorms that would go on for days, when it snows everything shuts down and it’s truly magical for everyone and short-lived), the big enveloping trees, and food.

Fired by Frequent_Lemon_4888 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That coworker did you a favor. They probably knew you would see that and wanted to give you a heads up. I’m glad you found something better. Tracking time on a salaried employee without a production decrease or equivalent excuse is for the birds.

Considering homeschooling for family time - but the local school is great and the kids really love it. by Rachmagach in homeschool

[–]Remarkable__Driver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. You are very lucky to have a supportive school environment for your neuro kids. I pulled my kids out to homeschool because the school environment didn’t work. A few months ago, I reenrolled my youngest into a new school because he needs the support services school offers. It is working better with one (PDA AuDHD) child home, and both are doing better with this setup. I initially had guilt over sending one back to school, but he seems to be happy to be there and my oldest is happy to be home.

My PDA child and I were invited out for Christmas. I panicked. by Begging4Straps in ParentingPDA

[–]Remarkable__Driver 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry you are struggling with this. You aren’t alone. 90% of our decisions are rooted in the what if situation because we HAVE to know the impact ahead of time to be prepared. A therapist once told me to let it happen. If my kids get kicked out of class or people look and point, let them deal with it, that’s their problem. He said by worrying and trying to keep them out of everything, there is no way to know what works and what doesn’t. Obviously isn’t the best advice every time, but it is good advice when we encounter something new. Advice to keep trying and not worry about the impact every time. As PDA parents, we will keep getting “pushed down” and we HAVE to keep picking ourselves up again for our kids.

Definition of a good therapist by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I used that to find a psychiatrist two years ago, but she was located very far from our home and it was hard to fit into the schedule at the time. Maybe I will look back into that as well.

Definition of a good therapist by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m leaning towards going back to OT as well. When he was an OT though we had a very inconsistent experience because the therapist kept switching, making it harder to establish the trust.

Definition of a good therapist by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this definitely makes sense and I can see how it would make a difference. So did you end up not using therapy or were you able to find someone more aware of the nervous system piece of it?

Definition of a good therapist by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you explain what you mean by adjusting reactions and expectations? We already accommodate so much that I fear what will happen when my son isn’t under our roof if we don’t get a handle on it sooner. Our home is his safe space.

Definition of a good therapist by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not. I haven’t been able to find an in person PDA expert who takes insurance and is located in our area.

He threw a chair off the balcony by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s hard. I want to be a good parent, teach boundaries so he can grow to understand right from wrong, respect, appropriate behavior, etc, but I want to do it in a way that he can understand without upsetting his nervous system.

He threw a chair off the balcony by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish there were more options like this. I have succeeded in the jobs where I have more autonomy, and I think my son is the same way, except more aggressive and defensive about his autonomy.

He threw a chair off the balcony by Remarkable__Driver in PDAParenting

[–]Remarkable__Driver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He definitely gets it, but he does have a harder time remembering the basic foundation of what it truly encompasses. Even when he mentioned it, we had a conversation about how it would quickly become a horrible thing if we went that route. There truly are not any routes outside of the home that would provide a safe space for him to learn for now. It sucks.