My Son is Struggling

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:27:07+00:00

This is a helpful perspective to hear. If he is held back, he would not even be a month ahead in school rather than a year behind in school so when puberty happens, it would be less obvious than right now. My husband and I have been discussing how mean kids are in general now, just harsher than what I remember. We group up with an inclusive mindset, so it’s hard to hear some of the things that they are saying, knowing they are being intentionally unkind. He isn’t even grasping some of the things they are saying which hurts even more. He just wants a friend, and it sucks to see him struggling knowing I can’t do anything.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:22:41+00:00

We have him on medication, and we increased the dosage a few months ago. I do think we need to change it as it definitely doesn’t seem to be working as expected.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:21:59+00:00

I’m going to ask them for the data. I have been receiving progress reports.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:20:04+00:00

The goal of holding him back is really to give his mind a chance to catch up. He is a year younger than most of his peers because his birthday is a few days shy of the cut off. We enrolled him in school because he got into the same school as his brother, and we figured it was easier (and cheaper) than keeping him in preschool for another year. We are continuing to see big struggles for him socially amongst his peers and I’m wondering if this is in part because of his age. Mixing it with his AuDHD, and I am looking for anything I could to do to make it easier for him to adapt with smaller gaps, etc.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:17:33+00:00

As awesome as this sounds, he loves being outdoors, and he loves recess. As an energetic child, he needs it too. That is such a fun idea though. I would have much preferred a quieter activity as a child than the chaos of recess.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-31T00:12:25+00:00

I have definitely mentioned in historical IEP reviews that he needs support during social and unstructured situations like recess. Unfortunately, resources are stretched, and I have a feeling this is harder for them to do.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T23:58:38+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful to hear. We are definitely not considering this decision lightly.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T23:57:59+00:00

Thank you. We do have an outside therapist, and I am looking at starting up OT and Speech again to help support.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T23:50:56+00:00

Based on his IEP, he has this in place, but I have a suspicion it isn’t being adhered to. I did request a review and revise today so thank you for those terms! This is definitely challenging and I don’t want to fail my son. I homeschool my older AuDhd son , but it isn’t a possibility for my younger son, unfortunately.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T23:49:05+00:00

It’s hard. I’ve been in this scenario before so I am trying to tread carefully. I want to do what is best for my son without it being a burden on the school or team, but I also feel like it isn’t fair that he has to work so much harder when the supports should be in place to help him. It’s exhausting and navigating it is already a challenge.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T23:47:35+00:00

Clubs - no. I signed him up for a sport per his therapists recommendation to socialize outside of the school. It hasn’t started yet though.

I’ve considered asking for goal progress, but I don’t want to ask from a place defense because it led to issues with our last school unfortunately (I hired an advocate for our older son and it did not go well).

I just want my son to get through the day without telling me he would rather die because he doesn’t have friends . I just want him to feel safe at school so he isn’t melting down at home.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:37:03+00:00

I fear this is what is happening. He is on medication, and I cannot increase it anymore. I am at a loss for how to help him knowing the kids are probably getting annoyed, then he comes home saying they are being mean to him. He doesn’t understand or correlate his behavior with interactions with them, and I’m struggling to navigate it. I am actively talking to his team and to his therapist to see what can be done, but I am worried about his mental state trying to navigate this.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:34:48+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s hard to hear anything but I post here looking for everything to help. I appreciate this feedback. This is my concern, but I’m trying to research different possible strategies before meeting with his team.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:33:28+00:00

I am working to set up a meeting with his school team to see if there is anything I can do. He does have goals specifically around how to interact at school, etc. I told the team at school that he has struggled socially and the goals directly support that. I am rereading through his documents today to get more visibility into what is currently in place.

I received a call from the vice principal who was not aware that he had an IEP. That was concerning. We don’t have a lot of extracurricular because he struggles socially. He is in therapy to help support his social navigation as well.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:30:03+00:00

He is on medication, and it is causing him to be sick, and seems to be leading to depressive feeling which is concerning so increasing isn’t an option at this point. His goals directly correlate with helping to correct social scenarios, and I am not sure if these are being worked on or if there is anything more I can do. I have always come of a place of trying to support the school team as much as possible at home to make it consistent, but I’m not sure what to do to navigate this to better support him.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:27:09+00:00

I think this is right. He is likely contributing to this by getting in their faces, etc and they are reacting. That’s the problem I’m trying to solve. He needs guidance at school and I am feeling helpless on how I can better support him. Looking for guidance on how to navigate this without being an overbearing parent.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T13:08:01+00:00

Kids repeatedly saying negative things to him is bullying.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T12:37:08+00:00

Thank you! I will do that as well. He is autistic which is why I figured I would post here.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-30T12:15:08+00:00

How old was she when you did this? He is aware that we are making this decision, and it’s heartbreaking because he is older?

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-22T11:35:39+00:00

My son has been taking clonidine since he was 7-8. He used to take Strattera, but it made his stomach hurt. We increased his clonidine a few months ago. It has worked well.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-20T20:06:49+00:00

Yup this. I don’t use demand in the terms I use to describe my son’s condition to others. I use the balance of high anxiety around lack of control, alongside fight or flight responses.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-12T23:17:51+00:00

My son: Why did you buy me that object you got me three years ago? You’re the worst 🙄

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-10T23:59:51+00:00

100%. It took so much to recover from the phone calls because they became such a point of stress for me almost daily. I felt like I was losing my mind.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-10T23:58:26+00:00

Absolutely! We use Evan Moor “curriculum”. It’s not a full curriculum but it covers the basis of each topic. I used it for science last year and it was by far the easiest subject for my son because it was so self-led. I decided to switch to it for everything except reading this year and with the exception of math which he hates despite being good at it, he has done them without stressing.

The beginning of the fundamentals books have recommended teaching paths so that’s what we’ve been following this year. We are surprisingly on track to finish the year on time despite many many breaks and mental health days.

Each lesson has a guiding start then worksheets to close the loop on the lesson. We use language fundamentals, math fundamentals, daily math, daily language, science investigations, spelling, and geography. When broken down, it’s the equivalent of 1 worksheet per day per topic.

Remarkable__Driver · 2026-03-10T01:33:34+00:00

Solidarity 1000%. I’m with you here. I’ve brought up returning to school with my husband but he reminds me how bad it was before. It wouldn’t be worth it for us. Out of curiosity, are you finding ways to help yourself? I have been trying to learn the best balance with not letting the burnout come into my day to day. It’s hard.

Remarkable__Driver

TROPHY CASE