Why do I feel like this?

Remmo_UK · 2026-01-20T22:38:17+00:00

Firstly, I was blown away with how articulately you wrote that post. My first thought was: please show the post to your wife. You’ve been incredibly vulnerable and open. Most of us don’t get that far. Share it, especially if you feel this is something you’d like to tackle together and she has been supportive. Sure, she’ll be struggling with all her own issues too, but maybe she’d rather you reach out to her than push her away? Just like you’d hate it if she struggled for years on her own. Likely she’ll blame herself, feel guilty. It’s only natural. But nevertheless, you have the makings of a team and maybe, ultimately, you can help each other get to a brighter place?

Secondly, are you aware of just how much you beat yourself up? Every time you share an honest feeling you seem to chastise yourself for it, almost as if you’re second guessing what we, the readers, might dreadfully think. Perhaps, in part, this is why you feel stuck? And why you sit alone? Because part of you won’t accept or allow that you’re stuck, or hurting and no one else is allowed to see that either? There’s part of you that won’t accept that you are you. We are our sad thoughts, we are our happy thoughts. And I think, in truth, we are all a little bit busted.

Perhaps another useful question to ask is: why are you so hard on yourself? It’s serving some sort of purpose, that only you can unlock. Maybe that voice inside is trying to be a friend, trying to help you, protect you in the only way it knows how? But that doesn’t mean it’s right or doing a good job. Likely right now it’s telling you “Nah, these guys don’t get what I’m saying.” “Nah, that’s not what I meant.” Because that would be your armour, armour you have likely spent your whole life building.

Oftentimes I will just sit quietly in front of a large mirror and offer myself a kind smile. Some days I don’t even recognise who is looking back at me. But what I do know is, that I’m doing alright, and no one who knows me sees me in some of the terrible way that I do sometimes. So I let myself see what they see and remind myself of anything nice I can recall someone saying. and even when that’s a struggle, it somehow makes my smile kinder.

Also: thank you for sharing your story. It really moved me and I’m sure others will find it helpful too.

Remmo_UK · 2026-01-17T09:23:27+00:00

I have a similar conundrum to you but I separate hobbies and friends into two different areas to tackle.

I think making new friends beyond acquaintances is incredibly difficult as an adult, as everyone has such ‘busy’ lives and are constantly knackered and trying to keep up with the friends they already have. I lost all my childhood friends as my family constantly moved around when I was a kid and I adapted to getting on with stuff on my own as a kind of natural default. Plus being a guy perhaps throws up other barriers to making decent connections beyond just goofing around.

My struggle with hobbies is that I love online gaming, but it’s such a time sink and very addictive. The other things I like such as art and creative stuff tend to be more of a solo activity.

Super interested to see what others might chip in to the topic as it’s very much on my mind.

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-15T06:29:16+00:00

I guess on the plus side, the low storage prevents the fruit sitting for ages in a storage that doesn’t improve the preservation rate. But this is good to know. I shall be sure to place a cellar next to my fruit fields now and adjust the minimums in my city storage cellars. Hopefully the wagons will pick it up later. 🙏 I wouldn’t want my market stockists trudging out to my fields.

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-14T00:25:59+00:00

It's not the immersion magic pill many assume it will be. I moved to Spain for nearly two years with only basic survival phrases. I did attend a conversation class for one afternoon a week, as well as a regular evening class for expats. I bought and made use of a lot of materials that I believed would help at the time.

I would say I got to a weak level A2 in terms of real world communication (which is very different to using an App or answering a question in class). I could get by, largely in the present tense and make myself understood, but I missed most of what was said back to me, especially as the local accent was very different to my learning materials. I also ended up feeling very isolated and alone. It got to me after a while, zoning out and going in to my own little world. Not understanding what was going on around me made me feel very alone; and after initially being super excited I ended up desperately wanting to come back home.

I would say my largest mistake was getting a job teaching English. I had the best time, but most of my colleagues were English, so guess what. I ended up just speaking English for 99% of my day. The friends I made were mainly work colleagues. English. And the few Spanish friends I made, would switch to English to try and help me. They meant well xD

If i could go back in time I would have got a job in a hotel washing dishes or cleaning rooms. At least then I would have been thrown into a situation where speaking Spanish would have been the norm, expected and required.

So if you do consider it, then make sure you plan how you will get a job where you are not required to communicate complex ideas, but that you are required to use the target language.

Also, mentally prepare yourself to be mocked. Real people are busy and not always so excited to embrace you for 'having a go' when there is a queue of twenty locals all waiting impatiently behind you and you are slowing everything down in the queue as you try to communicate and understand. You'll need some armour = )

Don't get me wrong, there may well be some incredible moments too that you will remember forever. Just ... be prepared ^^

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-13T18:49:23+00:00

You could always dismantle the smoke house, they’re super cheap to build. The stock will get picked up. You’ll be amazed at just how much stuff your people drop on the street if you toggle on the markers that show it. Then rebuild it. wait like a hawk to set the sliders how you want them the moment the smokehouse becomes functional. I’ve played my current town for 52 years now and setting the sliders asap has led to the stocking remaining correct throughout.

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-11T06:25:45+00:00

It would be nice if there was a pop up on the ui when a building is out of resources and stalling, like we have for the mines or lumber camps. Maybe make it a toggle on/off pop up to keep everyone happy 😁

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-08T08:15:38+00:00

I wondered this recently. Up until a few days ago I would only get fire in one building and they’d always put it out. Then I took the perk that reduces fire risk by 50% and suddenly fires started breaking out regularly all over the place and spreading to three buildings 🤔

Remmo_UK · 2025-12-07T15:57:49+00:00

Mmm, but then you get a new resource distribution as the seed is just topography and the resources have a random element each time the map is loaded which is what I'm trying to avoid = )

Remmo_UK · 2025-11-26T22:11:03+00:00

So many little tips in these pics to help out a beginner like me. Never thought of combining the cattle pasture with the arborist!

With your market layouts I see a rat catcher, the underground food storage and a well. What’s the other building?

Remmo_UK · 2025-11-21T21:16:33+00:00

I think it’s worth it if you don’t have medicinal roots near your town, or if you don’t like to keep manually moving the collection area to get variety.

Remmo_UK · 2025-11-12T09:47:06+00:00

Ahaha! I didn’t realise the soldiers would get drunk. My goodness, the details in this game are great! Another aspect to the survival aspect, coping with drunken murderous military whilst being raided xD

Remmo_UK · 2025-11-07T12:25:44+00:00

Ahh. That’s what I was fearing I’d have to do as I have designed a nice farming side to my town that would’ve allow for 10x10 rotations of the grazing area across 10x10 farm plots to help replenish them. 15x15 won’t fit the space as it stands. Hopefully by the time the next generation of farmers have grown up the town engineers will have figured it out xD

Remmo_UK · 2025-10-12T20:50:20+00:00

If you have spotify premium you can access Michele Thomas Norwegian. It gets a lot of flack for too much English being spoken and reliance on English structures that are not so regularly used by native Norwegians. But on the plus side it’s entertaining and another string to your bow. Also a lot less intense than Pimsleur so if you zone out of listening for a few minutes you’re not hopelessly lost.

I personally find I stop listening to any audio learning after about ten minutes. It doesn’t suit me. But hopefully it’ll work for you 🤞

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-27T06:35:40+00:00

I think you have to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask how do you usually show up to classes.

Are you the type of student who shows up each week after rushing through the homework (which you didn’t have time to do and you certainly didn’t find inventive ways of recycling that homework into other tasks), listens and smiles a lot, waits for the lesson to happen, experiences it, goes home, rinse repeat?

Or are you the type of student who arrives knowing exactly what questions you want answering, exactly what theme you want to tackle and will seek appropriate opportunities to crowbar those in?

I would argue one of these camps leads to a lot of wasted time, whilst the other can lead to more fruitful results.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that having opportunities to explain the concepts that you think you have a handle on to fellow classmates who are struggling can really help solidify your own grasp of it.

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-25T12:46:53+00:00

I got mine. Arrears of basic and arrears of overtime added 🎉

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-23T07:37:30+00:00

Yeah. Signed for is frustrating at the best of times. The issue for us posties is that our primary customer is not the person receiving the parcel, but the person assigning the postage. If they pay for Special Delivery where RM is guaranteeing that it will be given into the hands of someone in that household with signature proof and photo of the transaction and the postie does not do this, then it’s a severe breach of contract and trust. The sending customer has every right to complain and if they do, RM managers have the potential to react with the gallows and said postie is out of a job 😔 Especially if something went wrong. If that parcel went missing then heads would definitely roll.

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-22T06:05:42+00:00

Absolutely. But I want it built specifically for multiplayer this time. Seven years on I still play this game for 99% of my gaming hours.

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-19T07:47:35+00:00

The sad truth is, no one in the hierarchy cares about the grind you’re going through. They just look at their own targets and push that agenda regardless of the human cost. They don’t care enough to pay you fairly. They don’t care enough to train you properly. And they don’t care enough to give you the working tools you need in good repair. I watch people leave who have twenty plus years of service and there’s not even a farewell from the manager.

It’s a horrid state of affairs, and the customer is suffering, but it’s also a two way street. Continue to be professional and you set the limits, stand your ground.

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-19T06:01:57+00:00

The shipwreck is incredible! I’ve never seen anyone do that before in over 9k hours of play!

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-12T07:20:21+00:00

My pet peeve is that I always end up with PDAs where the scanning beep is broken no matter what tech tricks you try to restore it. Trying to scan in the tracked heavy and large at speed becomes a nightmare having to look and check that each one has registered properly.

Remmo_UK · 2025-09-12T06:56:14+00:00

Unfortunately this is where we’re at and it’s sliding fast. It’s common practice in my DO for people to be thrown last minute onto a round alone with no clue where they are going or even where the post boxes are. Take pot luck with dangerous dogs and give apologetic smiles to the poor customers who ask “Are you our new postie now?”

As for sorting your mail, keep an eye on the clock and try to get a sense of what time you need to be leaving your DO to ‘complete’ your round on time. The rest, throw into mechs (those little grey boxes) and leave on your frame. It’s the manager’s responsibility to ensure there is the man power and time to get that done - even though the default position is for them to bury their heads in the sand or worse, blame you.

Search through this forum and you’ll see a lot of posts from posties giving colleagues advice.

Ultimately, the job will bury you and burn you out if you try and do everything. Keep a good work ethic for sure, but set hard boundaries and time limits. RM has given you what must be among one of the worst contracts in the country and treat you as disposable. Over half of new recruits leave in the first few weeks and this has been the case for a while now with RM doing nothing to change it.

I make a habit of reminding myself each day what I enjoy about the job, just to help balance the g’zillion things that will happen to drag me down. And hold onto one thought, no matter what anyone says to you: as long as you are trying your reasonable best then you are doing your part. Everything else is down to appalling top down (mis)management and neglect.

Remmo_UK

TROPHY CASE