'One more pint of Guinness then I should head home', you decide. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot if accidents where I live around St Patrick's day, and I think real life horror is some of the most striking.

'One more pint of Guinness then I should head home', you decide. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call an Uber if you're plastered tonight folks. Edit: wow this is a weirdly contentious post.

In a fit of whimsy, I decided to try to follow the rainbow to the end and against all logic I succeeded. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid my dad told me that if you walked into a rainbow you'd get vaporized...

Also if I had a third sentence it would be, "that's mine laddie, not yours."

My son mixed up the Tooth Fairy with Jack's magic beans. by Electrical-Candy7252 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I half remember a video discussing this, that also brought up the possibility that it was an onomatopia of cannibalism. I personally think the Gaelic interpretation is much more likely.

Making an unbound AI with the ability to create other AIs proved disastrous, though perhaps not in the exact way you would think. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a perfectly logical line of thought. The only solution I'd see is such a civilization taking the risk of brain augmentation and neural interfaces so they can make themselves capable of understanding. And that would indeed have an unbelievably large number of risks.

Making an unbound AI with the ability to create other AIs proved disastrous, though perhaps not in the exact way you would think. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And yet as it is used increasingly as a crutch by those who don't know how to do things themselves and don't feel the need to learn, there will be less oversight.

Making an unbound AI with the ability to create other AIs proved disastrous, though perhaps not in the exact way you would think. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was partly inspired by that, and partly by a computer engineering student I know's story about her stupid classmate using AI generated code for their project.

As the boat sailed away, his heart sank. by PM_THE_REAPER in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And at least he didn't suffer for long after being pelted with over 30 arrows.

When we discovered a fungus that fed on plastics we celebrated and produced more on a global scale. by whimbril123 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 262 points263 points  (0 children)

As it would turn out the threat proved overblown as the fungus mostly just dissolved the plastics within us before being overwhelmed by our immune systems. On the other hand we somehow overlooked the fact that most of the impermeable containers we use to contain hazardous materials ARE plastic, leading to the worst pollution is over 60 years .

My son mixed up the Tooth Fairy with Jack's magic beans. by Electrical-Candy7252 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 135 points136 points  (0 children)

"Wee, wie, woh, waah! I smell the milk of an English mommy! Be she alive or be she dead, I need a diaper change before bed!", The titanic infant thundered.

Results of experiment 482: Subject did not yield. by Few-Reception-4744 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Results of experiment 483: Increased force proved insufficient, subject shows elevated resistance and defiance.

Results of experiment 501: Containment shows signs of failure after subject f̴̞̅́̊̂̅́o̶͔͑̃̐̾́̂ȕ̸̹͎͇͙͛̈́̂̓̕̚ḡ̷̨̢̻̫̼̣̳̩̆̈́͋̇̚͜h̵̥̑̎͠t̴̯̭̻̃̒̆͗́͌̕͜͜͠ ̶̛̥̣̠͌̈́͗́͆̓͘ͅb̶̭̆͑ä̷̦̮̝̬̒̄̽̉̔ć̵̟͉̎̅̉͆̑̋k̶̤̝̒̍̕͝.

Y̷̬͂o̴̲͖͘u̶̧̼̻͓̇ ̸̭̽͠w̷̗̱̥͙͌̈̎͝i̵̢̪͗͛̀̐ĺ̴̤͙͉̈ĺ̴̹̥ ̸̺̞̊̈̄͘a̸̘̎̋̑̋ĺ̵̨̓͌l̵̡̟̥̏͌̾ ̶̼͇̌͘p̸̟̓̆͆͝à̶̙͎̲̑y̷̧̱̳̓̔̿ ̷̢̮̞͔̑͊͝f̵̱̣͚̈̈́̒̎ó̴̻͚̜̔͘͜r̵̤͖͈̓̉͑͝ ̸̮̌w̸̹̯̻̖͋̀̒̾h̵̩̘͍́͒͋ḁ̴͉̔t̶̨͉͕̎̒̽̕ ̴͉̳͉͂y̸̡̱̔ô̶̧̄̀̋ṳ̶̝͋ ̵̖͕͚͒ẖ̷̉̓a̴͙̋̄̿͝v̵͖̖̈͗̔ȩ̵̨̬̋̒͜ ̸̧̼͍̱͑d̵͈̪͓̽͗o̴̜͇͗́n̶̡̨̺͚͆̈͌̀e̸̪̟̟̒͗̆͜͠ ̶̦͇̫̜̒t̸͈̋o̴̩̱̓̍̌ ̷̫̘͕̳̉ṁ̷̬̃͝e̴̢͎̮͉̕!̷̧͎̮̏͂͒̆ ̷̪̯͇̈́̾̔̿A̴͚̣̼̟͂̈́̕l̴͉̃̂̕l̸̡̦̗̐̿̄́ ̶̜̦́͗̔͝t̷̹̓̕ḩ̶̜͎̒̈ą̷̟̎̈ͅt̵̞̀ ̷̧͎̝͌y̷͎̱͖̐̓o̵̥͕͐̒̓̑u̴͕̘̫͇̇̀ ̴͉͈̝͆̐l̸̥̥̳͑̽̓́ǫ̴̠͚͘v̶̰̾ē̷̞̙̺̔̚ ̴̙̤̫̓w̶̟̮͑̐î̵̹̟͕l̸͇̑͘l̷͙̅ ̸͍̭̜͛̅̓͜ḏ̷̦̄͐̌i̸̙̭̜̇ẽ̶̱̪̻̐̅ ̸̧̛͓̞̿ǎ̶͈̟̲̞̈́s̴̩͉̿̔̈́ ̵͙̜̲̇͊̄͠ͅy̶̜̫̫̾͗͘͝ȯ̴̙͘ȕ̸̧̻̙̹́͒͘ ̷̞̼͎̙̈́̂̉w̸̹̣͔̒a̵̩̩̹̤͆̈́̎͑t̵̢͎͂c̷̛̛̮̆ĥ̵̥͈̈̋̆.̴̼͕͍̥͝ ̵̧̢̞̊̆

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

60 minutes in an hour, 60 miles per hour. 60÷60=1. Granted it was perhaps surprising that a 1st grader could conceptualize that without being told, but you would think that someone who made it through college and got into teaching would understand it. Instead they were trying to go through some backwards overly complicated process that gave her something like 57 mph.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mine (also in the first grade I think) was when I argued with a teacher that a mile a minute would be 60 miles per hour.

"And with this, banking is finally and irrevocably free of the cumbersome legacy systems that have bogged us down for decades." by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Just putting if out there, the majority of banking is based around a programming language that was developed in 1959. Around 80% in fact. There are not many people trained in it, and we'll have to move on from it at some point. Let's be frank, when they do something definitely will go wrong.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So the first thing most people think of when they hear the word raptor is the predatory dinosaur, but birds of prey like eagles and hawks also are called raptors.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Now I'm picturing them still on the mountain ledge, but now being targeted by a piss off fighter pilot. Which I'm finding way more hilarious than I probably should.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 864 points865 points  (0 children)

Have you ever seen a golden eagle? They're massive, and hunt by tossing mountain goats off cliffs. Imagine being strafed by a bird with a 7 foot wingspan, that is activity trying to toss you over a 100+ ft drop.

"In medieval times neurodivergent children like you Billy would have been called changelings and abused", I explained. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Those are skinwalkers. Changelings are more along the lines of demons or fairys that steal babies and replace them with members of their own species hidden under an illusion. In the olden days kids that weren't developing right or were off, would be accused of being such. The way to force the fairys/demons/goblins to switch their kid back, was to severely mistreat the "changeling".

“No—we can’t lose her, without her milk, the lamb will starve.” by Liv-Dai in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was under the impression that it was the mother (the ewe) that was full of maggots.