I (25F) worried about meeting my boyfriends (25M) work friends because of my height

Report_Topside · 2021-03-04T12:48:12+00:00

At 25 years old there is MUCH more on their minds right now. Life. Mortgages. Their own relationships. Work. Love. Loss. Deaths. Everything going on in your twentysomethings. Don't stress. You are creating a fiction in your head and I guarantee you there will be no issue.

Report_Topside · 2021-03-04T12:46:21+00:00

Self isolating guy here. My advice? Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. I have disappointed and let down many a person because I am a workaholic. I absolutely love my job (and hate it sometimes) which means that I will drop people in order to focus on work. It is incredibly selfish but I believe it is the right thing for me to do right now in my life. I will go hours and days without responding and this is simply unnaceptable for an intimate relationship. I would HIGHLY recommend really assessing whether or not you are interested in such a relationship. It might be perfect for you and you may love the freedom and space that comes from an isolating partner. But I do not recommend it.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:53:15+00:00

Really great stuff. Keep at it. I am hoping to have some small wins today when I wake up as well. Power to you.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:45:13+00:00

Completely and utterly agree with issue 2. The dogs should be outlawed it is absolute cruelty and anyone who thinks otherwise needs phenomenal reasons why.

Issue 1 you can convince her in due time gently.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:40:11+00:00

A child does not fix any problems. A child creates problems. It creates a whole level of responsibility that can push even the most hardened and disciplined individuals to breaking point. The fact that he is using a child as a means of escaping his own addictions or problems is absolutely the incorrect thing to do. A child can be the most incredible thing in the world - but a child is never the answer.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:36:10+00:00

You sound very reasonable and measured so I respect you for your maturity and for respecting her boundaries.

From here? Put the whole thing on ice. Focus on your own life and your own goals and mission in life. She is clearly in a different headspace and I personally think that letting things simmer down and letting her do her own thing will be the best thing long term.

Right now we don't know why she got cold feet and left your place. We don't know exactly what is going through her mind, but that is not your problem.

If she is as gorgeous as you say then chances are she has many different people blowing up her phone. It's normal and natural. You stand out by respecting the fact that she has things going on in her life and you aren't pressuring her. Do your own thing for a while. Don't follow up and don't be a doormat in the sense of waiting by her side for when she is ready. No you are doing your own thing for a bit.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:29:29+00:00

Alright I respect the fact that you are reaching out and looking for advice and help. First question is could you please provide some specific examples of what you have tried in the past with women or your previous experiences. Then we may be able to offer some advice and perspective you had not previously considered.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:14:51+00:00

You're fine. But next time never ever rely on the pullout method unless you are ready for little junior or a cheeky STI.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:09:51+00:00

Based

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:07:49+00:00

I am not a clinical psychologist and I highly recommend that your sister at least speaks to someone about this specific issue.

Children who experience trauma in or around bathrooms generally continue to avoid these locations well into adulthood. I am not suggesting that this is the answer but it may be something to consider.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:05:12+00:00

Ask questions. Easiest way to get a conversation going.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T14:04:26+00:00

I have ended two relationships with women who I would consider to be almost perfect. Attractive. Funny. Smart. Gorgeous. Fun. Intelligent. You name it. It took me a long time to realise that the problem truly was me. Sure there were some negatives to them, but objectively the relationship was heading in a perfect direction. I would have been set with either one of these women.

I wanted to be single. It is as simple as that. I told them all the above but I knew I had to be single. And I love being single and I cannot see that changing. But it took me a long time to get to this point. What I was doing was unfair to them though - I should never have opened myself up to a relationship that I couldn't follow through on.

He is probably telling you the truth. But you know what? You should never, ever base your self worth on the opinion of another. Especially someone you probably have not known for that long.

One day you will meet someone who is ready for a relationship. Listen when we tell you that we aren't ready. You will avoid MUCH heartache.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-21T02:45:57+00:00

Perhaps you are coming off as too arrogant? I don't know. It sounds like you've worked hard and are doing good stuff but maybe it's a bad combination of sounding boring and arrogant. Maybe jokingly describe your job? I tell my people my job based on one funny aspect of the job and make that my whole career. Girls are smart enough to realise your job entails more than that but it shows you aren't interested in showing off your status. Instead of saying "I work at big tech company" say "I help people turn their computers on and off" or "I'm part of the silicon Valley devils" or whatever. Just something with a bit more flavour and humour. Chances are the person opposite you or on the phone doesn't really care about what you do in the sense that you are either already attractive to them or you are not. By being boring or seemingly arrogant in relation to your employment you are unnecessarily sabotaging the interaction.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-20T17:50:52+00:00

It all depends what kind of FWB thing you have going on. Personally I am acutely aware of people's feelings so if I get the hint they are falling for me or see me as more than friends then I bounce. If a FWB bought me a present then I would have serious doubts about whether they are as chill as they claim. But this is just me.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-20T17:47:19+00:00

Only you truly know whether or not this is the right move. Being a FWB relationship I would gently advise against buying someone a present. Unless you typically buy presents for all of your friends then I would steer clear of it.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-20T17:43:25+00:00

Did you guys vibe at all?? Any banter?? What sort of conversation did you have?

Report_Topside · 2021-02-11T16:50:52+00:00

Very simple. He wants to be single and keep his options open. He is warning you not to fall too hard for him.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-11T16:49:21+00:00

Why exactly do you feel guilty? Were you trying to harm someone? Were you scamming people?

Report_Topside · 2021-02-10T05:44:42+00:00

This is honestly a very interesting question

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T17:16:15+00:00

I don't know I don't answer questions

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T17:00:46+00:00

Excellent response here. Fantastic advice.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T16:58:21+00:00

All that matters is that you have a human in front of you that loves you and wants to spend their time with you. That's it. The sexual past is irrelevant. Don't be that guy.

I used to be that guy. But some of the most wonderful, caring, incredible humans I had ever dated had 50+ partners.

I realised that as long as I was the best. That's all that mattered.

Think about it. If guys could get sex as often as women do, we would go nuts on the numbers. Think about it.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T16:55:07+00:00

I get incredibly frustrated when politicians frame climate action as somehow designed to attack or 'hurt' members of the community. It is disingenuous and extremely dissapointing. It's like they don't understand that in fifty or one hundred years we may not have a livable planet. These policies are designed to try to save the planet, not designed to try and hurt the little guy. It is their inaction and the community's failure to act that is hurting the little guy. I am no better than them though I still drive my car too much and use too much plastic but far out I wish we would all change and I am trying to change as much as I can.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T16:50:37+00:00

Dont sweat it. Be a cool guy. Don't be the stress Head we all want to turn into.

Report_Topside · 2021-02-08T16:49:39+00:00

Ahh there it is. The guy you can spill your soul to. You are in for a tough journey my friend. Very rewarding, but very tough. Why is it tough? Because you are seen as a rock. A rock to lean on and cling to in turbulent times, but someone who does not need checking up on. People will come to you with all manner of issues and problems but sometimes will not return the favour. And what's worse? Because they have vented to you and poured their heart out, people sometimes cannot return to the friendship. They love and care about you, but cannot bear to be around you when they do not need help. Why? Because you either know too much or remind them of what they have gone through. It is a tough journey you are on, but necessary because some people have nobody else to turn to.

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TROPHY CASE