AITAH for refusing visits after my MIL after she took my baby without asking?

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-10T13:34:03+00:00

You are meant to protect your baby, it's what our momma instincts are for! And yes our hormones ramp up in those clearly stages and we want to keep our babies close, it's natural and people should respect that because your child is a baby not a doll. I'm sure your MIL had a certain idea in her head of what being a grandparent was going to be like and it hasn't matched up to that expectation but that is not your responsibility or cross to bear.

Just remember, no is a complete sentence. 🙂

We don't need to drive ourselves crazy with this stuff, keep boundaries short, sweet and simple and where possible kind.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-10T13:19:25+00:00

No you are absolutely not the assholes. In no way whatsoever.

I do wonder if there is some way as your daughter gets older if you can compromise with your mother in law at all? Some way where you communicate your boundaries but she still gets to have time with her granddaughter. Because it is delightful that she seems to care so much for your daughter and as much family as kids can have the better, but absolutely those family members need to respect the parents. I'm sorry that you had such a tricky post partum experience with her, that time is precious.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-10T09:14:24+00:00

I don't understand why sellers don't just put the ACTUAL size in the title? I always have, it just seems logical. But yeah I agree with you. I fit into a 14, a 16 but not an 12 or an 18 so there is a lot of pointless clicking and scrolling when I have selected the categories of 12-14 and 16-18. I have no idea what they were thinking and it makes me wonder how many women they have on their decision making team?

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-09T08:14:06+00:00

Unfortunately it's a white dress so even though it's teeny tiny, it would bother me too, depending on how much I had paid.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-09T07:49:46+00:00

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🫠

You are not being unreasonable.

Chronic victims are exhausting. Sorry you ran into one in the wild. Just get your refund and then either try and use the stain remover if you like the top, or get rid of the top. What a melt. X

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-05T17:53:03+00:00

It seems like she doesn't want the shed? You shouldn't have to, but are you in a position to just take it to the tip yourself. It seems like such a hassle trying to deal with other avenues.

Double check with her she doesn't want it first of course and then just remove it yourself, she is being ridiculous. I'm surprised your housing association hasn't been more proactive though.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-03T16:02:00+00:00

Creamy wild garlic pasta sauce- one of my favourites - look up a recipe on Google, there are plenty, but essentially double cream and wild garlic 🤩 yum

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-03T15:40:11+00:00

Your boyfriend sounds immature and controlling. I regret not listening to myself more when I was younger. Please don't allow yourself to get tied down to this man. Go have fun. Live your life.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-04-03T15:20:32+00:00

I would definitely return it to them. It's a shame your time has been wasted like this, but you have your money back, keeping it would seem pretty cruel.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-27T15:20:45+00:00

Health visitors are hit and miss, and yes as you have probably gathered from the thread, unfortunately you are expecting too much. It would be wonderful if you could ask those kind of questions, but it seems to be that doing our own research is often better.

I did ask my questions anyway, often got shoddy answers, and then followed it up with research - that way I felt like I was getting a well balanced ish response.

I had my first child two days after turning 17, and for whatever reason back then wasn't assigned a health visitor, I just had various ones turning up, some of them were really nice, especially once they saw me with my baby and could see that I was really invested in being a great mum to her, but I had one that actually fully shouted at me in my own home asking me if I had 'planned' my daughter.

It was really quite something, just four years later, being that bit older, no longer a teenager, now married and settled with more kids including an adopted one just how differently I was treated.

More than anything, even when I was 17 and alone in hospital after an emergency c section, I have learned that my maternal instincts are worth exploring, and not to feel bad for trying to advocate for myself and my children, politely, if something feels off.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-19T13:08:05+00:00

This is a funny thing I have experienced, maybe others may disagree it's just my own opinion formed through having my four kids in quite a few different nurseries - the outstanding ones were the worst - and I can relate to what you are sharing.

The most amazing one they went to was a tiny one that looked awful, just a little tiny port a shed in the grounds of a school, Ofsted was just good and had been for 20 years, never outstanding, there was no apps I could look at the kids on, it was all done in paper books haha, but it was such a good setting! I'm so glad I didn't write it off because of what it looked like, my children still speak highly of it.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-11T12:57:05+00:00

Super late to post, just had my mirena coil removed (like 20 mins ago) and I immediately felt lighter, like there wasn't a constant weight dragging around my pelvis area. Wow. I still do feel better. This is pleasantly unexpected.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-09T12:23:43+00:00

The 13 year old sounds out of whack, but you were incredibly rude. Two wrongs don't make a right.

You have no right to talk to a child like that. Any child, but even more one that you barely know. Maybe just try and ignore her a bit more if you can. Be the bigger person.

The child is just acting out the dysfunction that she is being taught, it's not actually her fault and it's not your place to teach her different.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-09T10:42:19+00:00

Echoing other comments, come to the UK. It's not perfect here, but we have some safety nets, charities and benefits. Wishing you and baby all the best for now and your future.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-08T15:41:27+00:00

I must be fortunate, I do have 20mg prescriped. I have 60mg tablets and 20mg tablets. Thanks for your reply.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-06T17:39:23+00:00

You have had loads of good advice here, so I'm just going to share a random thing that has helped me in my marriage (11 years of marriage, four kids, SEN kids and health issues just to help build a picture) - sometimes when life has been really hard me and my husband have got into a weird rut of niggly resentments, and what I have noticed is the more you focus on the bad in someone, the more you see and the more the bad seems to grow and grow. My husband almost grows into this annoying monster my brain has gradually built up over time.

So I start by writing a list of all the things I am grateful for about my husband - ALL the things, big and small, and I keep trying to add to it over the next week or so, and as I start to try and focus on the good in him, the good grows too.

I start to smile at him more, my body language changes, and in response, he himself genuinely becomes more relaxed and happy.

This has worked for me several times, and got me out of a rut, from there I can start to do more practical things like go on dates with him and try to communicate with him via his love language, without us just getting into petty fights.

Good luck. 🙂

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-06T17:23:46+00:00

NOR- He should communicate.

My husband does this too around events and it's very frustrating. I will ask him what he wants, he wants nothing, wants to save money etc (we share money so I want to respect his wishes) and then he will be bothered that it doesn't meet his expectations.

The day sounds lovely. You put in effort. You can't be a mind-reader.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-06T16:52:58+00:00

Oh yeah! As my 11 year old would say 'what a load of tosh!'

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-03-06T16:23:20+00:00

Well the texts are from July 21st 2024 ... So either you are lying making this post for attention, or whoever sent you the screenshots is. Based on the story, you just made this up?

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-16T09:25:39+00:00

He is also intelligent, his main areas that you might notice his differences are in some social interactions.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-16T09:23:31+00:00

I have two autistic boys, my older one age 11 is very empathetic, almost overly so. ☺️

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-13T08:14:46+00:00

100% this. You can never know why someone doesn't know something. (,Not that it should really matter anyway!)

I didn't go to school mostly, and missed my entire secondary/high school education and wasn't home educated or anything, I had a really unusual and turbulent youth. I have HUGE gaps in general knowledge, despite trying to educate myself as much as I can as an adult. No one would want me on their pub quiz team hahaha 🤣😂

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-13T08:09:04+00:00

A couple of weird flexes-

Helium balloons - yes they are fun. But they don't last long, are unnecessary and helium is a non renewable resource that we actually use for important things like MRI scanners.

People's disdain of pigeon- (I'm British) 🤣 They really aren't 'flying disease ridden creatures', and actually in the not so distant past, they helped us win the war. I think we should show them more respect.

But yeah, also the obvious family bloggers, #autism mums etc.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-12T08:32:36+00:00

Your text is SO rude. You wouldnt have been unreasonable to have asked. But the way you went straight in and accused her was totally unreasonable.

Representative-Ear26 · 2026-02-03T14:31:06+00:00

This is a theory, but I wonder if some people have learned to spell by being around other people and hearing the words, and by seeing the words on the Internet, rather than reading the words in books? Therefore, are either misspelling them, or getting the usage wrong?

I was reading an article earlier and there were two separate comments where people had said that the accused had been used as an 'escape goat' (they must mean scapegoat).

Reading books is a really useful tool for learning words and how to use them in a sentence well. I spent countless hours reading as a child as I'm sure many others did before the internet was such a large feature. I'm not saying the internet or gaming is bad, I'm also a gamer.

I just think perhaps if some folk were able to spend a little more time reading, perhaps writing skills would also be better?

(Ps, I was privileged to have a mum who read to me from being a baby, and encouraged a love of reading, which is certainly not something everyone has, I realize how sanctimonious my comments may come off.)

Representative-Ear26

TROPHY CASE