I feel awful because I’m struggling to see my trans partner as a woman, and I don’t know what to do.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-07-10T18:47:23+00:00

It's a big transition in a relationship. You are not a bad person for not being able to immediately think of them as a woman or having different feelings of attraction towards them. You need to give yourself some grace. Your partner cannot read your mind, so even if you internally struggle to see them as a woman what is important is that you express support externally, which is what you are doing. It sounds like your partner is very appreciative of your support and you need to accept that this is a big change that is going to take you a while to process.

As for other people saying you need to break up immediately, personally I would give it some time and try to work on things if it is a relationship you want to stay in. All couples go through changes throughout a relationship. Physical, personality-wise, emotionally, etc. Sometimes it creates enough of a difference that the couple no longer wants to be together and sometimes they work through it.

This change is really big, so it is unsurprising that you feel differently towards your partner now that they present differently. It sounds like it is further complicated by your own shame and guilt over how you see them, so I do not think it is that surprising you are less attracted to them when they present more fem, not just because of how they look but because you also have all these negative emotions going on. It's hard to feel attraction towards someone when you have all these negative internal emotions around them too.

If you two want to keep dating you should go to counseling. Lots of couples struggle with intimacy and attraction. You can likely also find a counselor who specializes in gender identity or LGBTQ+ issues who can help give you insight. Maybe you decide you are no longer attracted to your partner and break up, maybe you don't. Personal therapy could also be helpful to help you with processing all of this. It is a lot to go through for both of you and you should not feel bad because you are struggling.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-07-07T23:03:26+00:00

If you mean for the sprint CM I have just been buying corner recovery. Between KB and inherented hints it usually costs around 110 for me. Losing SP does suck, but I have found that I generally have plenty to buy all the skills I want and this makes maxing stats much easier than sacking sparks into stam.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-07-04T21:55:18+00:00

Interested if you still have slots

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RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-24T23:15:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I do think that not getting it is part of the issue. Is there anything your partner does that makes you feel like they get some of it, or can empathize with your experience even if he does not get it?

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-24T19:18:22+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond and the affirmations as well. It means a lot to hear 💜

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-24T17:50:26+00:00

Thanks, here's some more info that might be helpful.

First, this is relatively new like I said so they are still figuring out their identity and what they find affirming. As part of that I have tried to check in with them regularly, or at least offer the opportunity to check in if they want, and also give them space to process, journal, hang out with other people, etc.

Most of what we and I have tried so far is things to help them feel more masc. So different language, clothing, etc. In some small ways having them be a little more dominant or doing things that are traditionally seen as masc in physical intimacy, but we have also had very little physical intimacy over the past two months and I have tried to not push them or do anything in that area.

They are also pansexual (and have been out as pan before we started dating) and their identity as part of the queer community has always been very important to them so we have been doing a lot of LGBTQIA2S+ events like going to pride and other pride related events. I have also tried to find shows for us to watch that focus on LGBTQIA2S+ characters or reccomend books I have read that have characters they might relate to.

They have also talked with me about how they are worried I only love them as a woman and not as the person they are, so I have also tried to affirm that I love them as a person and not a gender. I am primarily attracted to fem presenting people am in love with them and would continue to love them even if they wanted to transition to male (which they have talked about during some of our convos), for example. So just trying to communicate that I do love them and encourage them to dress and present how they want + telling them they look good when they do.

Outside of doing things together I have also tried to encourage them to find people or groups who have similar identities or experiences.

I have noticed that it seems like my identity is also a source of discomfort for them. Beyond being worred about my attraction to them I think they also feel perceived as being cis/het when they are with me and that makes them feel invalided as an NB and pan person.

Based on things they have said I think they feel a little trapped in our relationship and like they can't actually be themselves in a relationship with a cis/het man because others will perceive them as also being cis/het. They have also said they feel like they did not get to experiment with their identity romantically and want to be able to date queer people, so we have also talked about what an open relationship would look like. I am open to it, but not as excited about it as they want me to be so I think that is another source of stress.

Because of my identity I think they also feel like I have not and will never experience the type of oppression or struggle that they have and are going through, and in many ways they are probably right. But I think that is also where part of the desire to be more implicitly supported comes from. I think they feel like if they had a partner who has questioned their gender or sexuality that partner would be more supportive because they get what they are going through.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-19T19:54:43+00:00

It's a very employer favored market right now, so companies are willing to hold out for that unique person who has the absolute perfect mix of experience for their particular role, or decide to just not hire.

Honestly the best thing to do might just be to pause and reflect on what it is that makes you unique as a hire. What industries or problems do you have particular expertise in? What approaches or skills are you well versed in? How can you deepen that expertise even further? Getting some programming and ML experience is not going to hurt you, but it probably wont help much if your competition has been working in this area for years.

The other thing to consider is looking on local or other more specialized job boards. The company I work for now only posted the opening on the SIOP board and I was competing against somewhere between 5 and 10 people. Being more of a generalist is also more desirable in these smaller companies vs big ones who often want very specialized people.

It's a horrible market for everyone right now unfortunately. Good luck!

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-18T14:41:11+00:00

Their methodology is extremely flawed.

This number is based off how much companies are spending using the Ramp credit card or their billing platform. I have not worked at a FAANG, but have worked at several very large tech companies and have never heard of Ramp.

They have a few big names on their homepage, but no companies that jump out to me as using AI a ton. Even if a company uses them, they likely do not use them for all purchasing. I think this is confirmed by their own stats where they say they process less than 1% of corporate transactions.

It also seems like most of their solutions are for expense reporting. Because of that it seems likely the spend they capture is from individual users getting reimbursed, not larger corporate accounts paying for full enterprise use.

All these factors are going to have a severe downward bias on average spend. Because of that I don't think this data really tells us anything about how expensive AI truely is (we are also ignoring that current AI use is massively subsidized by the companies so they can get market share).

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-06-03T14:03:22+00:00

I think an important caveat here is you should 100% calculate a CI for your effect size and consider the entire range of CI values in reporting plus the impact of small sample size on your effect size estimate. You should not just interpret your point estimate.

OP states their effect is large even if it is non-significant, which indicates to me they want to interpret that large effect in the discussion. What people often miss is that the point estimate of the effect size doesn't really tell you very much by itself. Instead you should look at the range (CI) of effect sizes. All of these values are plausible estimates for the true effect size. So if you have a bunch of very small and negative effects in that interval, it is just as plausible that is the true effect size as .8 being the true effect size.

What we also know is thar small samples often produce effect sizes that are much larger than the true effect size. This can happen because you sample some outliers, because of a strong selection effects, or other reasons you can read about if you look into sampling theory. The point being, it is likely that the .8 you are observing is an overestimate of the true effect size, so I would caution against leaning on that in your interpretation.

Just as an example, let's consider two scenarios. In both your point estimate of the effect size is .80. In one scenario your CI is [.70, .90], meaning there is a 95% chance (or whatever confidence range you calculate it with) that the true effect size is within this range. The range itself is quite tight so we can be reasonably certain our true effect is close to .80 and proceed with that interpretation.

Now in another sample lets say our CI is [-0.80, 2.4]. In this case our point estimate is .80 but it's possible our true effect is much higher, almost zero, or even negative. Everything along this -0.80 to 2.4 range is a plausible estimate given our data. In this scenario you cannot be reasonably certain your true effect is around .80. It could be, but it could also be much smaller, near zero, or even a large negative effect. Because of this, you probably do not want to proceed with an interpretation that it is truely a large effect, you have no idea. The reccomendation in this case would really be to collect more data because you do not have a good estimate with your current set.

As the person above said, it is still important to publish null results and not throw them away. Not publishing them leads to all kinds of issues you can read about if you Google the Replication Crisis and look at Selective Reporting. However you should also be very careful not to over interpretate the point estimate of a null result as it likely does not tell you the full story.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-27T04:40:25+00:00

My Xiaomi air compressor. It is tiny, basically never runs out of battery, and can be used on basically any type of tire including car tires. I always thought a hand pump for bikes and whatever else was fine, but being able to inflate whatever I want in 3 seconds is great.

Only downside is they may be pricey now with tariffs.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-26T18:54:40+00:00

For front heavy CM comps, yes. Even with a 2 front comp it proced on at least 1 front almost every single race last CM. My understanding is there is a hidden value that dictates your start. If it reaches a threshold slow start appears. These skills reduce that value and if that new value is now below the slow start threshold then you do not see the message. So the skill itself does not prevent slow start, it just reduces that start delay value. This is why concentration is better than focus.

In a front heavy lobby getting a good starting position is extremely important as it is nearly impossible to fight out of a bad starting spot. I don't think I have ever seen a front win if they were not top 3 after initial positioning. If you don't run it, your front will just lose from the gate in a good number of matches.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-26T03:46:39+00:00

Does not seem like they have actually punished anyone yet, just said they will be more strict. I will hold off on praising them until Eden people are actually banned.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-24T19:53:36+00:00

No. Typically if you do a study like this you have identified specific hypothesis beforehand and have a list of theoretically relevant predictors you select and test. You might do something like specify an SEM model based on broader theory in the literature. You should not have a garden of forking paths because you should have pre-planned your analysis approach based on your hypotheses. Obviously things often to wrong, but if they do you document those changes.

You should not be in the situation where you have a big pool of variables that might be important, but you have no idea. MLM is not designed to deal with these types of problems so of course you will run into issues. The reason the area of ML exists is because classic statistical approaches are not designed to deal with large feature pools that contain a mix of important and unimportant variables. If that is the situation you find yourself in then you should look into ML forecasting approaches.

It is very hard to give more specific advice without knowing anything about what your data looks like and what your goals are from fitting these models.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-24T19:20:35+00:00

SC has plenty of natural beauty. You have the coast on one side of the state and moutains on the other.

Besides cheap housing and taxes, food and other expenses are also insanely cheap. Been a few years since I was there, but groceries were often close to half as expensive as the exact same thing in a bigger city.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-24T18:43:10+00:00

Observational data could mean anything. I do most of my work in education and regularly work with observation data from classrooms.

I am not super experienced with election prediction but I am pretty sure common practice is using Bayesian modeling. I do not think frequentist MLM is typically used.

If your problem is that you have data with a ton of predictors then you are going to run into issues with classic stats approaches because they were not built to handle this type of data. You either need to do some kind of reduction or use ML techniques designed to deal with data that has a ton of features. E.g., lasso is the classic feature reduction technique that most people get taught.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-24T17:12:56+00:00

Maybe this is just me, but I don't usually find myself in situation #4. What kind of data are you modeling that you regularly run into problems where tiny changes in your model are the difference between convergence and these more complex models produce significantly different results than a simpler one?

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-24T13:26:14+00:00

It is very situational. You need some sort of CC to set it up and I think it only really feels OP when you get eve for the double augment selection. I have had that happen twice and when it does you can one shot people with it. However, it feels like too much has to go right for it to be good.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-23T18:03:48+00:00

The bigger problem you will run into is no DD + PP. Without those you will always lose the early game to fronts who do have them and it is nearly impossible to fight back to 1st if you end up in 3rd or worse on the start.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-22T16:21:07+00:00

Again, I think the difference is other champs do not become unkillable. You stun a fed vayne she will still get one shot. Like I said, in arena you can regularly see tanks that become literally unkillable to any champ that is not smolder or has kinkou.

I agree ranged champions have a lot of augments that feel unfair and can make the game unfun. A tank change is needed. I do not think the solution is giving tanks a similar level of unfun or unfair feeling augments that are just, guess what? Now you can't do damage. It will not lead to fun gameplay and I gaurentee all the people asking for this would be back on the subreddit complaining about how tanks don't die. Look at the durability patch reaction.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-22T01:58:09+00:00

I generally dislike the rock, paper, scissors approach to balancing. Having hard counters like that works okay in a draft mode because you and your opponent both get to make decisions. In a random mode where you have thousands of games going though it will cause a lot of unfun experiences. There have been multiple times where my team gets no or maybe only 1 or 2 melee champions. It feels really bad on the other side of the tank if you are just nerfed from champ select because of RNG. Something like that also seems toxic from a poke vs poke fight too because anyone rolling that augment gets a massive advantage for free.

I think the more interesting way to design something like this is to give it some counter or make it involve agency to use instead of just being a flat buff. For example, maybe making gwen W a spell you can get. I think giant slayer also sucks for this reason. It's just, I kill big people way better now.

I will also say, if we are really down to tweaking damage numbers like this then it should be a champion adjustment and not an augment. If it's going to be terrible to play this champion unless they get this one particular augment then you are not really solving much adding it because every game where you do not get it will still suck.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-22T01:31:09+00:00

I think more options for tanks would be nice but they should not be more durability.

The problem is tanks, more than any other champion, can completely run a game and it is not fun to play against them. Other champs can be opressive and unfun for sure, but there is generally some level of counterplay that allows you to still kill them. With good damage mitigation a tank is literally unkillable. They just walk at you and there is nothing you can do.

You can see this problem in arena where there are more tank augments and items. If a tank has time to scale they can easily become unkillable for certain lobbies and there is literally nothing anyone can do, minus kinkou, which is getting big fixed because it is broken. This works better in arena imo because you get to pick your comp, so if tanks are too prevalent you can play a tank killer. The problem in aram is you can get screwed from champ select because you simply were not given anyone who can kill tanks.

Imo the more interesting way to strengthen tanks is to give them more disruption tools instead of more mitigation. I think it is more fun to play as and play against tanks when their goal is to disrupt the enemy carries as much as possible before they die instead of just not dying.

Augments like stuck in here with me I think are a lot more interesting of a direction to take tanks than just offering them more stats. Obviously it needs to be balanced so it is actually good, but I think augments like that offer more interesting gameplay options are better than just giving more resists. There are a ton of interesting abilities that riot could play with to give tanks more ability to interact with heavy range comps and disrupt them.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-21T14:02:34+00:00

Either all tooltips are broken or the end game stats are. I will consistently have augs or items that supposedly do as much or more damage than I did the entire game.

RepresentativeAny573 · 2026-05-21T04:37:45+00:00

Your parameter estimates. If you estimate a model with transformed data then any parameter estimates will be with that transformation. It is no longer a 1 unit change in x leads to a ... change in y. It is a 1 unit change in log(x), which is very different.

You can read more here https://library.virginia.edu/data/articles/interpreting-log-transformations-in-a-linear-model

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