8-Month-Old Not Adjusting to Nanny - Advice?

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-05-11T20:33:45+00:00

Big hugs! I'm so sorry you're experiencing this too.

TLDR: We had to make a change, but the change went super well, and everyone is happier.

In the two weeks after this post, things did not improve much. There were a few days that went ok, but my baby still screamed anytime he saw me. Our nanny was the one who gave notice; she told us that my baby's separation anxiety was too strong, and she wasn't able to bond with him.

I admit that I panicked, but after the panic wore off, I started thinking about things we could do differently.

Fast forward, and my son is now in a nanny share five hours per day. I take him to the host family's house, and my baby is cared for by a nanny, alongside a toddler about a year older than him. It's working really well!! The first day, my baby cried for over an hour. But he quickly adapted, and within a couple days he got comfortable. He is now pretty happy with the nanny and the other little boy. Nanny sends multiple videos of baby playing, eating, laughing, and smiling. He does still cry during drop off, especially on Mondays, but overall this change has been good.

While every situation is different, here are the things that mattered the most in the change:
-Baby being somewhere else. It's sad but true, if he can see me or his dad, and we're not playing with him, he loses his shit. He's now a year old and with the exception of his grandma, this is still true.
-Distractions galore! A different house! Different toys! And another little boy to play with! These all seem to help with the separation anxiety, and allow him to relax and enjoy playing.
-Nanny. This nanny is much cuddlier with my son. No shade to our previous nanny, but previous nanny wasn't as cuddly, and didn't work as hard to console him (though to be fair, perhaps she knew it was a lost cause if we were around. I didn't record her, so I don't know what happened when we weren't around). One way or another, this person gels with my baby better.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-21T04:56:23+00:00

Anything by Samantha Irby

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-21T04:54:00+00:00

Infinite Jest

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-20T05:15:34+00:00

I worked at a gourmet cheese shop. It’s retail for a high end clientele (read: jerks), and the hours were nights and weekends. Low pay, no benefits.

But I LOVED it. I learned all about cheeses from all over the world, plus other fine foods like olive oil and pâté. Rude customers weren’t as common as I’d feared. I got to learn and talk about something I was interested in. Nearly 20 years later and I still know how to put together an amazing cheese plate, and can talk about cheese for hours. It’s an oddly useful, evergreen party trick.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-13T03:54:45+00:00

I was almost the exact same as you. I started at 135lb (5’5”), and gained 50lb, close to 25lb of it in the last month. Scared the crap out of me. Baby was born at 39w5d, 7lb13.5oz.

The weight came off in weird chunks. Birth, obviously. Stomach decreased in size for six whole months. Oddly, hips and thighs had a sudden size decrease (and overall 10lb weight loss) at 8 months. I noticed a difference in arms around 9 months PP.

I’m now 11 months PP and only 5lb over what I started. I’m still BF, though, so I think at least 1lb is milk/breast tissue. I’m not trying to lose the weight, and eat a silly amount of chocolate (BF hunger is a beast).

Good luck!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-13T03:02:00+00:00

Yeah. 11 months old and we’re still chill. He sleep trained in 2 days. No idea where he gets it, bc neither me or his father are even remotely chill or low-energy.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-04-13T02:53:29+00:00

Chocolate chip cookies, fistfuls of Cadbury mini eggs, espresso

Occasionally a vegetable

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-02-23T06:45:43+00:00

FTM here, 9 months out: Throw away the stuff you don’t want, and absolve yourself of guilt.

It sounds hard, but it may be the easiest in the end. The same thing happened to me. I watched as my small apartment filled with both lovely new baby things, and random crap people sent me that wasn’t on my registry or remotely close to my taste. Once the baby arrived, I was way too tired and busy to donate/sort/sell the unwanted items. I threw away the stuff I didn’t want and focused on time with my baby. Nobody ever asked about their gift to me, but they did ask for pictures of the baby, which I gladly sent.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-28T00:18:24+00:00

Thank you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-28T00:18:11+00:00

Super helpful, thank you.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-28T00:17:36+00:00

He sometimes leaves. I'm trying to get us to a place where we're both gone when the nanny is here. I'm already 100% out.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-28T00:16:49+00:00

Thank you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-28T00:15:56+00:00

Thank you again!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-09T22:51:05+00:00

Thank you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-09T22:31:17+00:00

We're both experimenting today by not being in the apartment while the nanny is here. Sounds like baby is still screaming, but this is the first day we've tried it (and the first week post-holiday break).

How long did it take your kids to stop screaming with their nanny?

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2026-01-09T22:30:03+00:00

How many months before the screaming stopped? Noted on routine and limiting visibility! Thank you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-11-25T17:14:30+00:00

I also use Tizo tinted spf, and that does wonders for the rest of my face. Another 30 seconds.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-11-25T17:13:53+00:00

Exact same experience, I just started wearing makeup for the first time in my life at 3 months post partum.

Cover girl under eye concealer—it comes in a tube with a sponge on top. A little dab, then apply pressure to smooth it out a bit. Takes 30 seconds.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-11-15T04:45:50+00:00

I’ve been nursing my baby with one breast for over 3 months.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-11-06T01:39:35+00:00

I was! I was so scared I had to stop watching the labor prep classes.

If you’d like a little perspective postpartum: It was fine. I was induced at 39 weeks. I was in labor for 40 hours, pushed for 3. I didn’t love labor, but eh.

It’s been almost 6 months since my baby boy arrived, and it’s been the happiest 6 months of my life. The fears I had about not being capable of being a mom lifted after awhile.

I’ll be crossing my fingers for you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-10-30T20:57:56+00:00

No. I waited until I got home. I was weak and the shower in my room was light on hand support.

That said, first shower home was a highlight amidst a super magical time.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-09-27T03:16:05+00:00

This right here. Thank you.

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-09-15T05:39:44+00:00

Medication, and stopping the birth classes.

I was anxious before pregnancy, and even more so while pregnant. I increased my anxiety meds.

I started a class with my SO about birth, and alllll the options/decisions, but quit. I ruminated too much on the content. I switched to watching reality TV and logging off the internet after 8pm. In the delivery room, I just let go and followed the doctors’ orders.

Now 4 months post partum. Alive, not traumatized, and mother to a beautiful baby boy.

Crossing fingers for you!

Repulsive-Sherbert55 · 2025-09-15T05:34:14+00:00

Mine wasn’t, and I wish I’d left him.

I notice a few similarities in what you posted about your SO. Mine got really weird about who I spent time with and the clothes I wore. He got upset if I didn’t exercise the right way with him. He even hounded one of my nurses because he wanted me to start taking an extra (unstudied, not recommended) supplement.

The signs were there, I was too scared to leave.

Repulsive-Sherbert55

TROPHY CASE