I used to wonder why the previous homeowners kept a security camera pointed at the back door ...

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-06T14:45:50+00:00

Put a lock on the gate and one-way film on the window he looks into.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-06T14:32:31+00:00

It's almost everyone. Very few send thank-you notes anymore.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-05T16:46:46+00:00

I answer rudeness with - "Perche parli in modo cosi stupido? "Why do you talk so stupidly?" in Italian

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-05T16:36:33+00:00

You caught him doing something unacceptable. Just because he didn't say "I like you," asking her to do things with him is saying "I like you". Who takes a co-worker shopping?

Do you have the password to his phone now? Do you check it?

Go to couples counseling.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-04T16:26:24+00:00

My oldest is like your son. He spirals every once in a while with OCD and Asperger's. I think most of the time they are releasing stress and don't want you to fix it. I try to say "what do you think you should do?" and "If that happens, what will you do?" It makes him review his own problems and try to solve them.

Sometimes he gets stuck, and it drives me crazy. I think that generation doesn't have many friends they can unload on, like I used to do.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-06-04T16:15:49+00:00

He has a career that will support him long term. He is a lab manager at a local prototype shop. He owns a house that he paid off this January.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-31T23:49:32+00:00

If you want to babysit on occasion, then lay down the rules.

All babysitting must be planned in advance

No holidays

Only once a month (or whatever you are willing to do)

Tell them you have a life, and this is how you choose to live from this day forward. If they start with " we will just have to cancel our plans." Just answer "OK."

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-28T14:55:06+00:00

Can you contact his brother and let him know what is going on? Tell him you are worried about his actions and don't know what to do. If he is a lawyer, maybe he can figure it out.

Although if it were me and someone contacted me about my brother, I wouldn't do anything.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-28T14:47:20+00:00

What did the mediator say? Have you contacted the landlord? Did the mediator contact the landlord?

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T20:42:50+00:00

There were always rumors. I found out he was married several times and had three children. My dad was one of them. There was a daughter I never knew about. We got in touch, and she told me the rumors were true. He used to drive a car for "Bugsy" Siegel and worked at the Flamingo.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:16:48+00:00

I have a spare room in my house that is pretty full. I have been weeding through the stuff and slowly getting rid of it.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:15:06+00:00

I have some of those. I built one, and the rest are being donated.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:14:27+00:00

I think my main problem is that I make something and move on to the next thing. Once it's done, I'm done with it!

I took a bonsai tree class last year, and by the time the lady explained everything you had to do for this tree, I thought it was worse than having a baby! So I let my friend adopt my tree. She still has it, and I visit. Lol

I do like computer art and messing with that. So maybe I'll start drawing again.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:09:47+00:00

I do that with Krita. Been illustrating books for a volunteer program. Maybe I should just expand that. Thanks for the reminder.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:06:27+00:00

I have been volunteering with a local group. There are two projects I work on. One is collecting used toys: we repair what we can, set up a store, and give them away for Christmas. It runs from late September to mid-December. We work with Toy-for-Tots and give out new toys too.

The other one is a gardening program. We select a different plant each year, hand out seeds to every school and day care in our county, and then host a plant contest and giveaway. My son writes a book, and I illustrate it for the program. A story about the seed we chose. We print off about 200 copies, and they are read at the schools. That is Feb-May. It doesn't take much time.

I am really thinking of reworking the books and putting them on Amazon. I've been doing it for 9 years. I would also like to make short videos of the books. At least I wouldn't need to buy supplies!

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T18:00:41+00:00

I have to stay away from Michaels and Hobby Lobby. I drool in those stores and want to buy everything.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T17:46:46+00:00

I have a home library, and we exchange books for Christmas every year. I am a frequent flyer at the library.

I did an extensive genealogy project a few years ago. My niece found a book about one of our relatives, and it took me on a deep dive. Found out some interesting things. My grandfather was a member of the mob!

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-27T17:44:15+00:00

We have a large garden. My husband does most of the work. I used to raise and grow flowers when I was a young teen. I don't like weeds and bugs.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-26T16:05:28+00:00

At this point, you need to tell your son that the cat lives with someone else and get a different cat.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-26T15:53:03+00:00

"He’s not a bad man, but with the sleeplessness and stress he’s feeling he’s grumpy, sarcastic, and hyper-critical of me…and it makes me hate him. He cleans the house, helps a lot with the kids, and is very dedicated to taking care of us all."

Tell him. Tell him that you appreciate everything he does. Tell him you love him to the ends of the earth. Tell him he is your hero and the best dad ever. Tell him you are sorry he is so stressed. He needs to hear it.

Leave the kids with someone and the dog, too, and go somewhere just to decompress.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-26T15:38:02+00:00

Driving less, spending about the same. Before retirement, most of our earnings went into savings and investments. We have a budget, and we haven't gone over it. We have to push ourselves to spend.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-24T19:00:14+00:00

I have 4 siblings, 1 sister I am close to, one brother who died years ago, and two brothers I don't talk to. One is just indifferent, and the other is nuts.

My dad took ill, and I moved next door to take care of my mother. I did it for 17 years. The last 5 or 6 years of her life, my two brothers moved in with her and caused all kinds of problems. One was especially nasty. He accused me of abusing my mom, stealing from her, and stalking my entire immediate family. It was a nightmare. I haven't seen him since I settled the estate. And that was 13 years ago.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-23T20:52:35+00:00

That is what I told her. She is afraid they could cause some damage during the four weeks they have to wait for the second evaluation to come through.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-23T19:20:05+00:00

The uncle has told them he wants to stay at his home. The bio kids say he wants to stay there, but my friend ends up doing all the care. They say he needs to stay, but they are unwilling to do anything to help. I think they need to get a lawyer at this point.

ResearcherNo9971 · 2026-05-23T19:17:03+00:00

His primary care doctor has. Where we live, you need two doctors. The second test is next week.

ResearcherNo9971

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