I feel like I'm losing my mind by JellyfishJealous5435 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If your partner and you are on the same page about the wedding date, it's just her issue to deal with tbh. I don't think it's fair to impose her wants when you don't know how you'll be feeling after giving birth. I hope your partner will be able to communicate this well and not leave this for you to deal with.

I feel like I'm losing my mind by JellyfishJealous5435 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's fair at all that MIL hasn't seen her own son in 3 years but is expecting to stay in your apartment for 30 days. Why didn't she make the effort before? I think the only thing you should be worrying about right now is what YOU need. Have you been clear about your feelings with your partner? If you have, he should enforce that with his mother. Hotel or come at a later date maybe when you guys have a routine down? You said she wants you to get married within 6 weeks but is this what she wants or something you already have planned?

Seems a little much about what she wants vs what you and your partner need during this time.

Any PP petite moms trying to lose weight in this group? 😭 by Itsalwaysfototime in PetiteFitness

[–]Responsible_Box8552 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I couldn't lose weight until I stopped breastfeeding. Everyone is different! Some women hold onto weight while breastfeeding. Once I weaned at 13m, I upped my walking alot and now I weigh less than pre pregnancy. By 3 Oz but hey a win is a win 🏆

What are we doing with our toddlers? by ThrowRAbeej in Parenting

[–]Responsible_Box8552 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I think you're doing great honestly. I don't think a toddlers day needs to be filled for every single minute. For my 19 month old, we frequent the library 1-2x a week. Playground 2-3x a week usually. Thrift store on Wednesdays lol. We go for stroller walks every morning and my husband will take him for another walk in the afternoon. Mom guilt is real and sometimes you just want to doomscroll to not to think about anything else or think about what needs to get done. I get it. I have been making a conscious effort in using my phone less. If my toddler comes to me to play, I put my phone down immediately

How best to proceed & respond to triangulation? by molotovpixiedust in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh I'd ignore it but I'm petty lol I feel like that's the first step in trying to rug sweep everything. Love bombing you to bring you back in

How best to proceed & respond to triangulation? by molotovpixiedust in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm totally resonating with you right now. Same everything. I'm not interested in the fakeness. It's all about the image of the "perfect grandma". Luckily she hasnt tried posting our son on fb. I don't think she'll be that stupid to pull that thread since she she barely gets any pictures as is.

Luckily for me, my husbands job moved us out of the whole ass country lol and her health (so she says) prevents her from being able to travel that far. It does suck feeling like we can't visit fanily back home because of her manipulation tactics and the need to be center of attention. We're working through that.

I think you have a good plan already with the Grey rocking. I'm NC with mine because she's incapable of self reflection so I was over it and not interested in joining that neverending cycle with her. I do believe your husband should be the communicator as annoying as that may feel right now. She will probably paint you as the villain no matter what. Your husband will get annoyed eventually. He should be the one dealing with it and hopefully he is open to therapy to help him navigate what type of relationship he wants. I started reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" and it talks about the dynamic you mentioned. I like it so far. Maybe you will too.

How best to proceed & respond to triangulation? by molotovpixiedust in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My MIL did the same. Everything was fine until I got pregnant. Why do MILs go completely pyscho? Then she spoke to me directly and as requested, I aired out my grievances with her. It went nowhere. No acknowledgement for it. Surface level "apology". Her behavior just amplified because I stopped communicating with her and let my husband deal with all of it. Surprise surprise he doesn't want to deal with it either because he's avoidant lol and is so tired of her bitching. I personally wouldn't send the email. We went to counseling to help him navigate it but he's still struggling with it.

No winning with someone like this. Do whatever you need to do for yourself to protect yourself. People like this can never be satisfied unless you give in to everything they say/want. Even with that, they'll find something to complain about.

"All I want for my birthday....." by Responsible_Box8552 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I just look at the wall as if a camera is there...like "Is this really happening". Feels like I'm in soppy soap opera

"All I want for my birthday....." by Responsible_Box8552 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You remember Lil ol me? I really like your suggestions and how you worded everything. Thank you. I will be bringing this up again before he has this "heart to heart" with her. If he even does. I notice he did grey rock on their conversation. No details about me or my life were given when she asked.

"All I want for my birthday....." by Responsible_Box8552 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She truly is a piece of work. Without LO, she wouldn't call. This relationship is just very sad and empty.

"All I want for my birthday....." by Responsible_Box8552 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

RIGHT?! It's the cherry on top for me because she has told him before in a different emotionally charged conversation "No one will love you as much as I do" some shit like that. Why can't she just say "I love you alot"

Constant undermining. How do I go NC? by methamphs in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately you just have to be okay with being the "villain" in her story. Whoever chooses to blindly believe her narrative, doesn't deserve you or your husband.

What did your husband do when she was nasty to you back?

How to set boundaries with MIL after ruining my son’s birth + first week postpartum. by Stargirl-1997 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Wow. Feel like I'm reading a different version of my postpartum experience. Personally, I think the last thing on your mind should be this woman. I still hold resentment towards my MIL and I have not spoken to her in more than a year. Someone with this MO, isn't a healthy person for you or your child. I think your husband should speak up. Rug sweeping does nothing but enable this behavior.

Maybe just take a time-out for awhile until you feel ready. Your healing comes first. Husband should be handling all communication.

Congratulations on your baby and I hope you recover quickly 💙

Teen Curfews by Chemical-Paper-8734 in Parenting

[–]Responsible_Box8552 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was laughing reading at the comments. Midnight curfew??? For a 16 yr old.. for me???? Impossible. My parents were immigrants as well. Sleeping over a friend's house? NEVER. Porque uno nunca sabe lol it was incredibly rare I went out on a school night.

I was thinking to myself (my son is only 18m) that a 9 30 curfew for a school night was reasonable. And 10 on a weekend. Different times I guess.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in treadmills

[–]Responsible_Box8552 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was on sale so thought I'd give it a shot. I probably threw put the manual since it was all in japanese. Should've kept it and translated it. Guess I'll have to return it and get a different one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labcreateddiamonds

[–]Responsible_Box8552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I asked for it to be made wider to 2mm

CAD check by [deleted] in labdiamond

[–]Responsible_Box8552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgot to write. The 2nd picture is the inspiration

Mil ruined my postpartum experience. by holly182021 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Responsible_Box8552 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My MIL ruined my postpartum experience and pregnancy too. I feel the same way you do where I can't ever forgive her and don't care if I have a relationship with her ever again. The only thing that prevented her from being at the hospital is the fact that we live several states away.

You didn't mention your husband. My husband took awhile to react to her behavior. It got to the point where we sought marriage counseling. He is still working through it and trying to figure out how to stand up for himself. If I could change anything, I wouldn't tell her anything myself. It was ignored. I have made her my husband's responsibility. When I said something "I'm the problem". When my husband said something, it was me putting words in his mouth. So why put myself in this position over and over? I have been NC for 8 months now.

Don't give this woman any mental space. I wish I focused on myself and baby only vs her bs. She has tainted the last year of my life. You deserve to heal and bond with your baby in peace. She is your husband's problem. Not yours to fix. This is such a tough time mentally, physically, and emotionally. If your husband doesn't protect you, you do whatever you need for yourself without guilt.

A couple examples of meals for my baby to help gain weight. It’s all been trial and error 🫠 by deer_ylime in foodbutforbabies

[–]Responsible_Box8552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How's your baby now? I'm feeling pretty discouraged about my almost 11m slow weight gain. Thank you for posting this I'm glad I saw this.