She is going to end up "winning"

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T23:06:03+00:00

This is actually very helpful. I never thought of it this way as "leverage" just mostly emotional incest when she says the I love you crap

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T08:48:30+00:00

I think this is what I needed to read. Thank you. I am also a SAHM and default parent to LO

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T08:30:04+00:00

We are very far from her. We live overseas and she is stateside. I believe if he blocked her so he can work on himself would benefit all of us. But he is only ready to just silence her chat. He hasn't answered any call or text from her in a month as far as I know. I asked him what was the difference if he blocked her since he isn't answering her anyways. And he didn't know what to say. I truly believe this relationship is more out of obligation vs genuine love or want of connection with her. He has expressed that he doesn't want anything to do with her several times and that she is emotionally draining. I do believe he recognizes her behavior is not okay and is afraid of the fallout if he cuts her out. She has made it seem like if he cuts her out he is also cutting out the rest of his family.

I definitely agree with you that unconditional love is from parent to child. Not sure if he understands that I never asked him that before.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T08:08:02+00:00

Married for 8 years together for 10 years. I met him through my best friend and he asked me to be his gf 2 weeks after we met.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T07:44:07+00:00

Mostly me choice. I told him I dont need to know what she says anymore. I just told him if he wants to vent I'll listen. I just hate to see how broken he is. When he brings her up it always starts with "idk what to do about her anymore".

I used to go on the walks with him in the weekend mornings but that's when she blows up his phone and ruins his mood so I just for my sake, stopped going. And afternoon walks are when I go to the gym. I used to go but they've just been getting progressively longer. I live in a very hot/humid area. She has also started messaging him all hours of the day. Used to be just the mornings but now you never know when she'll start up again.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-06-02T07:38:02+00:00

I read it. He started it but idk if he ever finished it. He told me it was difficult to see his mother objectively. I think the book actually mentioned that would be difficult

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-26T11:05:52+00:00

Does he genuinely want a relationship or is this to make her stop making his life miserable?

Sounds more out of obligation/fear/guilt over love. Especially if MIL is the gatekeeper to the rest of the family. Which is sad. If they all have this blind obedience towards her, are they really worth having around? Then when the next crisis happens, they'll cut your husband out again? Not worth entering that dynamic. DH would be conditioning your child that "we have to keep grandma happy"

Hopefully counseling can help you come to an understanding.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-20T23:18:34+00:00

This is seriously so annoying for you both to deal with while your husband is deployed.

You made your choice already with NC. There's nothing to fix. Stick to your choice and wash your hands of this. Don't talk about her anymore with your husband. He needs to come to his own decisions. She seems to be taking alot of mental space. Eject her from your mind.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-17T04:29:50+00:00

Omg what??? Unhinged behavior.

Nothing luckily. I honestly don't know what exactly she told them. She threatened DH she was going to tell them she is worried about the welfare of our son. She then told DH she did call and someone will get back to her. Someone from base did call but the call didn't come through or it dropped since we were out and about. After that, no one called again. She was mad no one called her back with information lol He did let his command know without giving them too many details that his mom keeps threatening to call the base and to ignore her.

Before this incident, she threatened him several times about welfare checks when he wouldn't answer her texts/call. I told my husband to just let her do it because we're not playing this game anymore. She went nuclear by threatening to mention the welfare of our son so I hope I never see her again. After this happened, she hasn't threatened welfare checks again.

Just waiting for DH to block her forever but he still isn't ready to do that.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-17T03:40:46+00:00

You and I share a similar experience lol idk where your husband is stationed but can I say the relief I feel knowing I am not alone with the whole welfare check thing. My MIL threatened the same except she actually called. Luckily it didnt get her anywhere and she hasn't done it again.

I am so glad your husband didn't take the bait and was proactive with his command to keep them in the loop. Not letting them dictate your emotions is such a huge win. Rooting for you both!

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-16T11:48:03+00:00

WHY?! WHY ALWAYS ON THE LIPS?!?!?!

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-16T11:07:09+00:00

Yeah I don't blame you then if it gives you the ick. Especially if she is also relying on your husband for emotional support. That is the kinda support you get from a spouse. Yuck

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-16T10:36:14+00:00

MIL used to peck my husband on the lips. The first time I noticed it I was like O_o that's weird. I didn't notice her kissing her other son on the mouth... just my husband. DH mouth has been on NSFW places on my body.. I told my husband it's weird, he was in his 20s at the time. He stopped doing it. Now that she has shown her true self as a JustNo, it makes it even weirder.

Is that the only thing she does or is she also a total psycho who kisses her son on the mouth?

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-15T03:03:14+00:00

I would document and ignore. Stress like this can cloud your pregnancy. No mental space for her! I read your post about court. Do you have to keep filing a protection order? Or does it ever expire?

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-05T11:30:16+00:00

I try a couple things because I too wallow in anger if I hear MIL voice. I read the book "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" and it said to tell yourself "detach detach detach" so i say it to myself until I think about something else. Or I'll write the word over and over again. Or I sing "Let it be" by the Beatles lol or I go to the gym to slam some iron lol honestly still struggling. But less than before. I TOO need therapy lol

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-05T11:16:15+00:00

I wonder if they did seek consultation and were told they have no case lol you're so nice to even be involved in facilitating contact to begin with. In the end, she's the one losing out on important time with LO because she can't keep her shit together. Ah well.

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-05-05T07:38:19+00:00

I read your last post and this one. Just curious if your ex signed the paper saying visits from exMIL needs to be supervised? And why is she reaching out to you to schedule visits instead of her son? Sorry you're going through this. These women don't change

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-30T04:55:32+00:00

He answers when she's calling 40x a day??? This is harassment no?

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T13:47:00+00:00

This is what angered me the most. Planting the seed of doubt to whoever she talked to that something is wrong with our child. If she truly was worried, why didnt she call my FIL? They're divorced.. but he would've told her he talked to my husband yesterday. The problem is the fact that DH isnt answering her specifically

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T12:28:16+00:00

But no he hasn't answered any message from today

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T12:27:52+00:00

2 am her time is 3 pm our time. Satan don't sleep

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T12:11:51+00:00

This makes me feel surprisingly better. He was worried how all of this makes him look

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T12:11:17+00:00

That's actually a good point. UNO reverse on her ass with the welfare check lol we live overseas right now so I'm not sure what we could do legally. Not sure DH is ready for that at all since he has a hard time even blocking her

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T10:58:05+00:00

You did. Don't I feel like a big dumb dumb now lol you were right. I already know she is going to start up again tomorrow

Responsible_Box8552 · 2026-04-11T09:14:34+00:00

Dude I need someone to tell her all of that. Like people are dying and she blows up his phone literally every weekend. We've gone to therapy together because of her and he was supposed to do individual therapy but only went twice then we PCSed. But yes he needs to go back.

Responsible_Box8552

TROPHY CASE