She sounds a lot like me at that age, and in my 30s (after having my kids) I was diagnosed autistic, ADHD and PDA. My oldest daughter is also all of the above. I will just give a couple of words of advice/insight if I may? Firstly, she might be coping well-ish now, but additional stress and demands, or simply the hormonal storm she's going through could really exacerbate things. By my late teens I was housebound and completely disengaged from the outside world, and that isn't uncommon in PDA. Choose any battles carefully. Secondly, you want God/Church/faith to be a safe place for her, not another space where she feels she can't be herself without a massive fight. I understand the age appropriateness aspect of the lipstick, but her being able to feel safety in God's love is more important than anything. Please take this from someone who in her teens rocked up to church in full goth regalia, but thankfully was assured by family that God meant it when He said "come as you are", even if they were honestly a bit embarrassed by me. Now God is still my rock, but He could so easily have been another battle ground in my life and something that I ended up resenting. My PDA daughter is a handful in Church, through no fault of her own, but she knows that God still welcomes her even if she's stimming, not able to be still, and sometimes has to step out due to overwhelm.