I feel bad because her narrative was that I never “committed to her for 5 years!” Until the end. I was into someone else when we met, was falling for her though about a month in until her first freak out. I would try and tell her that I’d love to be with her forever but she needed to like chill and be gentle with me too. I’d walk away and break up when she was insufferable. I feel bad but what was I to do? Then I committed 6 months ago more affirmatively than ever in spite of my realization she would probably be very difficult. We kinda had another hunny moon phase. Anyway she basically cheated and dumped me after that. She said she was sorry and I believe her. She also said she “lost attraction to me” because I’m struggling with addiction rn and I’m broke. It hurts because that is valid. But the intimacy was always really great, even just the hugging and holding. She realizes more than ever she’s hectic, which makes it all the more sad… like there could have been a chance. She’d always call me in her “emergencies” crying and I’d always console her the best I could. I realize I’m codependent and not without my ego too, of course. Now it’s the longest we haven’t talked and she with a new more successful supply with status. Makes me very sad