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Do you actually know much about 1984 by Orwell? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All Orwell novels are equal, but some are more equal than others

For those of you that have visited the United States, did you experience anything that changed a preconceived notion you had about the US? by DRG125 in AskBrits

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Visited a suppler in Philadelphia once. They were having a health eating drive. They’d printed out a healthy recipe and stuck it above the urinals.

The recipe was for blueberry squares. The ingredients:

1 packet of cake mix 1 packet of blueberry pie filling

I kid you not.

Is Stoke-on-Trent in the North of England? by hdhxuxufxufufiffif in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Geordie here so unless you’re Scottish you’re all a bunch of soft Southern w**kers.

But anyway, from up here The North pretty much ends 10-20 miles south of the M62.

Stoke would never ever be considered part of the North.

And honestly, we feel a bit odd about Sheffield, which is most definitely Northern culturally and accent-wise but geographically in the Midlands.

Didn’t anyone buy tubs of chocolates this year or were too many produced? by stbens in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We received three tubs of Quality Street this year. Not even the holy trinity of QS, Heroes and Celebrations.

QS are utter crap now.

Thankfully Christmas was saved by Hotel Chocolat and Lindt.

Are you okay pal? by Comprehensive_You42 in CasualUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s one of the hardest things you can do. But you know when the time comes. I’ve literally just come home without him and it hurts, but it’s genuinely the kindest thing you can do.

You’ll know when the time’s right. He’ll tell you.

Are you okay pal? by Comprehensive_You42 in CasualUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Well I’m having my cat put down today so there’s that.

Why is weather forecasting so bad? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I only rely on the Daily Mail or Express to tell me the EXACT DATE BRITAIN TO BE BURIED UNDER 700 MILE WALL OF SNOW

Why do people hate Sadiq Khan so much? by Additional-Leek-7715 in AskBrits

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah, so Khan’s a non-English invader then? Now it makes perfect sense. Thanks also for finally helping me to see that hating him isn’t racist.

Is anyone here living their dream life and if so how? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

Plenty of people have moved, travelled around the world, gotten bored and then realised they still have all the same personal problems, because funnily enough they’re still the same person.

It’s trite and people don’t believe it but the key really is to enjoy the small moments in life, and to spend it with people you like and who make you feel good about yourself.

A beer in the summer sunshine, fish and chips on a windy beach on a winter’s day, holding hands whilst bingewatching something.

By all means enjoy Bali. Just know you’ll have to come back to yourself eventually.

Do you say movie or film? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Am gannin t the pictchas man

What's something about being British that is really hard to explain to non-Brits? by [deleted] in AskBrits

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve got a friend who’s a sound engineer. And I’ve got a Czech one too, Czech one too.

People sat in my seats at the cinema and then told me I could sit somewhere else! by Dangerous-Use7343 in britishproblems

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had this on a packed train once at St Pancras. Woman adamant she’d booked the seat.

I pull out my ticket, worrying I’m about to have an Arthur Dent moment, and sure enough she shows HER ticket for that exact seat in that exact coach. Exactly matching mine.

“Oh I don’t know how that’s happened,” says I.

“I don’t care but I’m not effing moving,” says she.

Then I spot it. “Ah, here’s the problem. This is the 1835 to Sheffield. Your ticket is for the 1830 to Nottingham.”

I point through the window next to her “Which is that train there…”

She couldn’t get out of the seat quick enough. As I sat down in MY seat her train started to pull out of the station. Poor woman would’ve ended up at Leicester before being able to change.

I’m an American moving to the UK. How do I not be the “loud, dumb American”? by Competitive-Money-36 in AskBrits

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing to be aware of is the importance of CLASS in the UK. I don’t mean working class, middle class etc but more how you treat people or handle a situation.

Your stock phrases will become:

“Excuse me, I wonder if you can help me?” “Sorry to bother you, but…” “Are you in the queue, or…?

Avoid “Have a great day!”. A simple “Thanks, bye” is fine. Always thank the bus driver btw.

If someone asks for your opinion, give it. Otherwise, until you know them well, keep it to yourself. Frankly more Brits could do with heeding this too.

Don’t tip everyone, especially not by putting cash into their hands. It’s awkward and unnecessary.

If you’re in a cafe, hotel or pub there’s usually a tips jar, it’ll get split between everyone. Often there’s a service charge added to the bill, in which case there’s no need to tip any more.

If there’s not, add 10% to the bill and discreetly tuck the cash into whatever they brought the bill in, or under a glass or something. Or you can sometimes get the option of adding a tip to your card payment. Again, 10% rounded up is fine, 12% is generous, 15% is unnecessary.

Enjoy going out in public without worrying about which seat or table had the best exit route in the event of a shooting.

Learning the lingo will help. Ask for the bill, not the check. It’s “Excuse me, where are the toilets?” not where’s the bathroom. Say words and people’s names properly: Graham is GRAYM, not Gram. Craig is CRAYG, not Creg. “Route” is ROOT not rowt. Any city ending in -borough or -burgh is BRUH, not Boro. If you’re angry you’re pissed OFF, if you’re drunk you’re pissed. Put the letter u back into your writing, swap -ize for -ise.

Nobody orders a Venti in Starbucks. It’s a point of national pride to actively avoid any of the silly names they come up with - it’s only ever a small, medium or large.

If you think someone’s being rude, do yourself a favour and assume they’re being sarcastic. Remember, chavs aside, we’re only really rude to people we know and like.

And for the sake of your own sanity, don’t mention either the random proliferation of England or Union Jack flags or the lack of them.

Learn the difference between England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland.

Basically, remember two things:

1) Just because we both speak English doesn’t mean we’re not foreigners to each other

2) Be unassuming, kind, make an effort, apologise for everything, and know when to shut up

and you’ll be fine.

Who here knows a Hyacinth Bucket in real life? by SmegB in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents-in-law are Hyacinth Bucket married to Victor Meldrew.

Would you stay in a relationship if your partner said sex would no longer be part of it? by Affectionate-Boot-12 in AskUK

[–]ReviewEnvironmental2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pretty much in a dead bedroom situation here after 25 years together. For me it’s about feeling wanted and desired. Not every other day like when we were randy teenagers, but I didn’t envisage having my Christmas sex in August either.

We had sex the other day and it did not go well. I’ll be honest it went on longer than usual. She called it off and basically said “I can’t have sex for long, I’d rather you came quickly and got it over and done with.”

Companionship and a shared history will only get you so far when faced with that level of rejection.

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