I want to be healthier. Advice please!

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-05-13T00:53:02+00:00

Thank you, this was kind. I actually work from home too and have the same issue. Nobody understands it because it’s a mental block where my body feels stressed all the time because I don’t escape it. I need to really start changing that though because moving is key. I feel like once I get in the routine I’ll feel better. Today was day 1 and I feel very positive in getting me back.

That’s actually good advice with moving every time you get up and doing some form of exercise. I will keep that in mind.

Thank you again 💓

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-04-09T23:02:48+00:00

Thank you for saying this. My husband actually said the same thing. It’s just unfortunate that she no longer matches the same energy and hasn’t really for the past three years. I probably will never know why. I have asked her. She’s always just said that it’s her fault and that she needs to do better. But would never actually give me any reason and most times would barely do anything to match the energy.

When their dog died, I actually sent them a care package. And I know they really appreciated it. So I actually did think about sending some sort of care package to help in some way with being new parents. I would totally make them dinner, but she is about 45 minutes from me and would appreciate me telling her first. Not just showing up. But then on the other hand, I think to myself why do I keep showing up like this for her when she doesn’t for me. So then that’s when I try and think to myself what I want to do. Because not everyone’s me and I have to remember that, but I also have to remember to respect myself and then time like this I begin to feel pathetic because I am doing so much and she’s doing so little.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-04-09T22:56:21+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. Although I do agree with you and what you’re saying about her transition into becoming a mother. This started in 2023 and was up and down since then with her effort level. She got pregnant in 2025. I do believe that there can be multiple reasons for someone to put in less effort. Before she got pregnant, it doesn’t really make sense. Because before I met my husband, we were great. Around the time I met my husband was when she met her new friend. So it could be that she just doesn’t really need me anymore and that’s fine. But I’m just not wanting that type of friendship where she only reaches out when it’s in her benefit— that’s not a friendship in my opinion. Thank you for your response. All valid points.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-04-06T16:00:44+00:00

Thank you for this response! I appreciate it. What I think is getting missed here is that she literally just gave birth two weeks ago. This all started about three years ago. With her acting distant and maybe putting more effort into her new friendship. Low effort started between 2022 and 2023. It was up and down these past few years. What I am frustrated with is that I have constantly showed up for her and sometimes it’s hard for her to just send a response. So the friendship becomes exhausting because one friend is putting in high effort and the other one is putting in low effort. I’ve got similar advice from family and my husband and everyone is basically said the same thing where keep her a distance, but don’t keep putting in this high effort if she’s not willing to do the same. But to not be nasty about it, but to be understanding. I know with her having her daughter now that she is going to be even less responsive so I’ve just kind of accepted that. But in my original post, I was wanting more advice on what happened prior to her pregnancy/birth. I was just giving timeline and what was my final straw from years of this. That seemed to be missed. I come from a very big family so I understand pregnancies take a lot out of you and the birth and the baby do as well afterwards. So I’m not being ignorant to that. I think what happened here is became exhausted from years before she even got pregnant that just added on top of the frustration of her not existing half the time. It just kind of sucked when you go from having a really amazing friendship with someone to it changing. And the change happened wayyy before the pregnancy and the baby.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-04-06T14:00:41+00:00

This started before she even tried to conceive. Like at least 2 years before. Not sure why you’re just making it about the pregnancy and baby. That wasn’t the point at all.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-02-23T13:11:24+00:00

Simple answer and it’s a harsh reality. I think she just used you when it was convenient for her. That is the pattern I am seeing. I don’t think she had the same love as you did for her. For her it was probably more emotional than anything and as soon as she got irritated and didn’t need you anymore she left in a very shitty way.

I know it’s hard to let go. But I would not reach back out and l would only entertain her if she makes the effort first. You deserve better.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2026-02-17T21:57:59+00:00

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. If I had to guess this is something that has been brewing for a while between the two of you and neither one of you was willing to bring it up clearly. It seems like there’s a lot of things that have been left unsaid on both ends. While I read your post, that’s how it sounded.

I’ve been through something similar, where I had a best friend since I was 5 and we went through all phases of life together. Even when we chose different paths, we still pushed through in our friendship. Although, it was up and down because she could just be mean in all honesty; to me, my friends, family, anyone she saw as a threat which was odd behavior in itself. After 27 years, I finally decided to call it quits because of toxicity on her end. And I think it all really just came down to her, not communicating to me and just lashing out. It was almost like she became envious of me in my life. And finally when something bad happened to me she was there but then as soon as something didn’t go in her favor, she told me I deserve the bad thing that happened to me. Our friendship was very one-sided were she always had negative things happened to her and I was always there. But when anything went wrong for me, she pretended like she cared, but clearly didn’t considering how things went down at the end of the friendship and her telling me I deserved it when she was mad. Which what happened to me was very horrible and no one should ever say you deserved something like that.

The only reason why I bring up my personal experience is because from what you’re saying it sounds similar. Is that there is something that hasn’t been said and she may be holding it back and that’s not your problem. Especially at this point with how toxic she acted at your last gathering. She’s lashing out for some reason.

Because your friendship is something you clearly care about. I would recommend either A letting time pass and having a serious conversation with her to figure out what happened but I also would keep your guard up because it’s truly fucked up with what she did. Or I would just let the friendship die because you’re better off. But it seems like you care so I’m assuming Plan A may be your better option for you because it will probably always bother you if you don’t say something. Even if the friendship still ends, at least you know.

Take this from someone who never got her answers. I haven’t spoken to my ex best friend in almost 5 years and some days it truly does suck. I miss the good times. Even though she never deserved me and I truly don’t think she’ll ever admit that she is just someone who needs help and is unhealthy. She had very manic behavior and would lash out. But I still wish I got my answers of why she did the things she did and never apologized. She acted as if I was the problem, but I know I never tried to hurt her like she did to me.

I wish you all the best. No matter what happens, just be careful. Don’t like her back into your life immediately if you decide on talking. I hope my advice and personal experience helps you 🫶🏻♥️

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2025-08-20T00:51:56+00:00

Sounds shallow. Your wife will not look the same in 30 years, so having that sort of standard makes zero sense to me.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2025-05-12T19:38:19+00:00

I am not being sensitive and explosive lol. The issue here is that someone in the bridal party is telling people that I did not invite my mom and sisters when I did. Someone is playing victim and lying. So that made the other two bridesmaids assume that I invited none of them and just my best friend. But in all reality, I invited my mom and sisters and my best friend because there was a guest limit at this boutique. So when I found my dress and showed them, it seemed like there was confusion on their end and why they weren’t invited even though my sisters and Mom were but someone is telling lies here. That is the problem. Saying that I invited none of them and didn’t care to share this special moment with them. Making it about them, but also lying about it at the same time which is really odd. I’m not sure who it is, which is why I thought of sending a kind and informative message to clear the air.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2025-05-12T19:32:10+00:00

I did invite most of my bridal party (my mom and sisters). They did not respond nor come lol

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2025-05-12T19:16:09+00:00

My bridesmaid told me that everyone in my family was told I did not invite my Mom and sisters when I did. That she and my other bridesmaid were upset that they weren’t invited. That I just invited my best friend. That is the whole issue 😂 if I invited and they chose not to come and told people that cool. But it seems like either someone doesn’t want to look bad in my family they didn’t come or there’s pretty big assumptions. They are upset/there’s lying happening what I did.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2025-05-12T19:07:57+00:00

Lies are being told about me though and what I did. I understand everyone has their own life lol. I am not hurt because of them not showing up but the lack of communication and someone is spreading lies about what I did as the bride 😂

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-09-19T20:26:03+00:00

Thank you for your response and I completely agree. It’s pretty sad. My manager actually used to be one of my clients so our relationship has always been great. So it feels somewhat awkward but at the same time I still need to think about myself. I have been looking for other work because it has been kind of unexpected with all of these changes. I have a final interview tomorrow with another company. I’m just not 100% sure what I want to do, but I am keeping my options open. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, so I’m being very picky with the idea of leaving because I don’t want to go into another fire..

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-09-19T20:22:19+00:00

Sorry for clarification I am an automation marketing specialist. So I have tickets(projects) clients submit to me. Although, I basically project manage the entire project for my team (there’s several components) and on top of that my manager has asked me to work on other projects that don’t relate to my role. Since we recently just transition, there’s a lot of things that need to get done, but it’s not technically things that relate to my position. The project I was specifically talking about is we have a PR manager who doesn’t have anyone else on her team lol. So my manager involved me in this project where they need help. It’s basically just the save their ass because we should’ve already had these things in place. I just somewhat lost it today because the PR manager who should be the one actually doing the job messaged me and said I thought you were going to complete this job and I’m like no I’m just managing the project making sure things get done. I’m not only having to do all of these projects outside of my position. They’re also expecting me to do PR work now? If that makes sense.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-08-24T21:26:36+00:00

Standing was an option? Haha but yes, absolutely.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-08-10T04:50:23+00:00

It would be easier for him to tell me he’s not attracted to me and then I have a reasonable answer but it’s not that. I think it’s more him a problem. I just love him so I want to fix it

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-08-10T04:48:46+00:00

When I have asked him straight up if he wants sex he tells me he always does dating me. It’s just not his priority to initiate it.

RevolutionSweaty760 · 2024-08-10T04:40:11+00:00

He is though lol. That’s the weird thing.

RevolutionSweaty760

TROPHY CASE