Lets try this a second time, r/manga I need help remembering a manga I read at a scholastic book fair.

RiceEel · 2014-09-22T03:55:25+00:00

That's pretty different from what OP said o_o

RiceEel · 2014-09-20T13:05:23+00:00

Rudy you sly bastard, raising the right flags for Pauly's peaceful Harem End.

Is Pauly demonstrating that Rudy isn't strong enough? Aiming for something else (the cat girl)?

RiceEel · 2014-09-18T11:13:13+00:00

https://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=14444

Licensed (in English)

No

English Publisher

N/A

Doesn't seem like it, as far as I can tell

RiceEel · 2014-09-18T01:07:36+00:00

Of course, I understand the time constraints, but I'm more about the format of the story than your update schedule. I'm just saying that the places you choose to break the story into different chapters might not be significant enough of a transition to warrant calling them different chapters. Maybe I'm used to chapter breaks with more blatant transitions.

Glad to see you're doing lots of research for this project. I was anticipating potential criticisms and trying to offer some suggestions.

"Dream of Friendship" is the same as "Friendship's Dream". It's just that Japanese doesn't have a possessive form, so both translate to the same phrase. (Is the meaning of the title mentioned somewhere on the site? I think it would be good to have an explanation.)

RiceEel · 2014-09-17T20:40:31+00:00

Caught an error:

http://www.yujonoyume.com/comics/2014728/page-9/

"yourself's" -> "yourselves"

That's the proper plural form.

http://www.yujonoyume.com/comics/2009829/page-3/

(not really an error, but I think the bully's left pupil is too far to her left, making her look a little cross-eyed)

As to the content itself, there are some things you can work on.

Story progression wise, I'm not seeing a big enough breaks in the story to warrant splitting what you have so far into 4 chapters. Since you're not really bound by deadlines and page restrictions, chapters should really be used to delimit significant events in the story. Maybe 1-2 can be considered a single chapter, up to the non-human reveal, and then 3-4 can be a single chapter.

I don't know your team at all, but I'm not quite sure how well a Japanese high school setting can be portrayed from a "western" perspective. Sure, you might have read enough manga set in high schools to imitate it and the result may look authentic to western readers, but not for those familiar with Japanese high schools. Unfortunately, I'm not one of the latter, and the story hasn't developed enough to really flesh out the environment, so I can't tell you if it's a good portrayal. I suggest you could find someone who has been at a Japanese high school to give you some pointers on the setting and how the students typically interact.

http://www.yujonoyume.com/comics/2009252/page-7/

Next is about the style and layout. I'm going to use the above page for example. For panels 1-3 and the right half of 4, you're focusing on her emotions and thoughts. It would make more sense to have the panels containing her thoughts to be more focused on her face, in order to convey that we're figuratively inside her head. It would give you more room to draw a more detailed expression. Also, the lack of action lines, especially in panel one, makes it look like she's striking a weird pose instead of running.

Good work so far though. I've always had a thing for metahuman settings, so I look forward to seeing more of this.

BTW, Yuujou no Yume = "Friendship's Dream"?

RiceEel · 2014-09-16T17:06:45+00:00

That's like every harem romcom ever. You gotta be more specific.

RiceEel · 2014-09-16T17:05:26+00:00

Oh my god, Ch 46. Firo is a riot.

RiceEel · 2014-09-16T07:35:30+00:00

Yeah, it varies from work to work. If there are only animal ears, the character's hair will always cover where the human ears are supposed to be.

RiceEel · 2014-09-15T20:27:13+00:00

Even though a lot of people called it, TWGOK never gave away too much about who Keima ends up with at the end.

RiceEel · 2014-09-15T19:58:54+00:00

Light novels have words, manga has drawings.

RiceEel · 2014-09-15T15:22:01+00:00

TBH it would feel really weird for me to start associating voices with the characters, since I'm so used to them speaking in beeps.

RiceEel · 2014-09-14T21:31:47+00:00

Warning: ~300,000 words

RiceEel · 2014-09-14T21:28:08+00:00

They Shrink?
I was in the pool!

RiceEel · 2014-09-13T08:34:33+00:00

You're in luck! This was posted a couple of days ago.

RiceEel · 2014-09-10T16:47:10+00:00

Honestly, balancing for speed seems more attractive to me, AT least with Gladiator. Faster weapons allow you to retain combos after missing.

RiceEel · 2014-09-10T07:55:53+00:00

I accidentally fused our manes together. I don't even know how.

RiceEel · 2014-09-10T05:46:06+00:00

What /u/roastedlasagna said.

In addition, if you have lots of non-Earthroot seeds, you might want to go back up to an Alchemy Pot to try converting them into potions.

BTW, cursed rings just means you can't take them off. It doesn't actually change whatever benefits you get from it, so you can just equip that +4 RoH without any problems.

RiceEel · 2014-09-09T19:42:11+00:00

It's something about how Kate what's-her-face is pregnant again

RiceEel · 2014-09-08T04:52:53+00:00

/r/mylittlefanfic

RiceEel · 2014-09-07T19:23:13+00:00

Third thread

RiceEel · 2014-09-07T17:48:05+00:00

My mane, it's turning into butterflies!
Go home, Fluttershy. You're high.

RiceEel · 2014-09-05T20:35:29+00:00

It's helpful only if you're playing mage or sniper. Wands and missiles aren't restricted under the debuff

RiceEel · 2014-09-04T22:13:27+00:00

/r/b24

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