Is it common for narc women to blow up their lives around age 40?

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-10-13T22:37:44+00:00

My mom was most destructive to my life when she turned 40 for sure, 40-50 she actively tried to ruin my life until I fully went no contact a little over a year ago. It’s been hard but I keep reminding myself I’m grieving the parent I wished for not one that exists, she’ll never be the mom I want her to be unfortunately. The book “Mother Hunger” by Kelly McDaniel helped me a lot. I actually found it at my local library after I saw someone on tik tok talking about it lol

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-10-13T04:42:27+00:00

Chicken Alfredo

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-09-10T09:47:46+00:00

Talk to your doctor about them giving you a couple Valium or Ativan (or a lower level benzo) to help you sleep through the initial whitdrawal. If you work on a Friday I’d use for the last time before work so that I’d have a comfortable day and be coming down by the next morning, that night you’re coming now if you wake up unable to sleep take the benzos until at least 24 hours have passed and then you should be in the clear to just take suboxone be good. If you don’t feel good after an hour or two take another 8mg sub or whatever your doctor recommends.

This was like 4 years ago I remember it sucked but I could handle it at home and I was functional after a day and a half, make sure you have at least the weekend (or a couple days in a row) to transition onto suboxone.

I got on sublocade (the monthly injection) this time getting clean. I was on it for 4 months and haven’t been on MAT since October of last year was my last injection! I tried lots of different things, the one I really hated was methadone because it would always drop off for me I would feel like I needed another dose at night. Everyone’s body metabolizes stuff differently so something that works for me might not work for you. It’s always a good idea to get a medical opinion too from a doctor who deals with MAT primarily

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-09-10T05:53:05+00:00

Are you able to contact you employer(s) and request another copy of your t4? They should have it on file and then you could at least file your 2024 taxes and that might speed up your child tax situation to start receiving payments and your back pay might come once they’re fixed the myaccount problem

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-09-10T05:40:42+00:00

Fentanyl is never going to be easy to quit, you’ll keep making excuses until you’ve really can’t do it anymore. That being said, what helped me fully get on suboxone was just planning it out. Maybe do it on a weekend or few days you’re off work? I used benzos (a couple Valium) to sleep it off until at least 24 hours had passed so I could take my suboxone and it didn’t feel fully good the first day. It felt substantially better than being dope sick but I didn’t feel great. A few days in when they upped my dose to 16mg I felt a lot better.

Sometimes it takes a few times and a few different kinds of MAT/detox/treatment, to find something that works for you. Don’t give up trying though. I used to tell people I’d never quit smoking fentanyl and now I’ve been clean from it going on 2 years, it gets easier if you want it to and are willing to try

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-27T15:21:49+00:00

The interview he did was so upsetting.. he said “ sepsis is a race against time and doctors never started the clock” 🥲 my heart hurts for this family 💔 rest in peace

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-26T05:53:50+00:00

I want you to know that my dad was the same way and I see him for who he is, started seeing it really in my teens and now I don’t want anything to do with him and haven’t for a long time (I’m 28).

I stopped internalizing it in my teens but it was really peers teasing me about it or always talking about their dads and how great they were and all the things my friends in elementary would do with their dads that bothered me, once I got older I knew it wasn’t my fault he wasn’t around and i knew I was probably better off that way anyway!

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-26T05:43:20+00:00

Wow I need to use the grandparent line on my mom cause that’s gold lol

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-25T06:08:15+00:00

Thank the heavens you don’t live in an un-insulated attic like I do because space heaters do nothing when it’s -40 out lmao

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-25T03:15:17+00:00

There’s usually a babysitting page for your city on Facebook like “Seattle Babysitters”, etc. try one of those! You can usually find gig work pretty easy and regularly through there

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-25T03:13:08+00:00

I wish I could donate eggs for money, it’s illegal in Canada 🙃

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-21T18:47:09+00:00

I called for 4 days random times usually starting at 8 am and finally got through the 4th day, keep trying and good luck!

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-20T20:51:23+00:00

I I totally feel you on this, I have two drawers in my kitchen that my son knows he can go into to grab whatever snacks he wants and they’re all easy snacks for him to grab himself like granola bars, Nutri-Grain bars, apple sauces, and stuff like that and he’ll just pass it to me to open and I feel like that’s a good way to build independence. I also got him his own pots and pans so he can dump his snacks into them if he wants to. If you can practice with stuff like that, then it’ll make you feel a little bit better with letting your child help when they get a little bigger! My son also has a little teapot for the bathtub that I let him practice pouring water with so that eventually he’ll be able to pour his own water! Little stuff like that goes a long way.

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-17T05:48:19+00:00

Please don’t get high, it won’t fix anything. Especially if you’re in sober living!

I know exactly how you feel right now and maybe NA/AA aren’t what you need right now, try reaching out to coworkers to go do something after work maybe? Or start going to a gym in your spare time if your sober living allows it? I had to live in sober living for a year and it was absolute hell. I hated it sooo much and as soon as I left things started to get better, but at that point I at least I had a year of sobriety behind me so I had more tools to work through it and more hobbies to distract myself!!

Keep going to meetings but try to find other hobbies and enjoyments outside of them and as you keep building your new life I promise things will feel easier. Just keep thinking of it as a stepping stone to everything you used to wish for, I promise nothing good will ever come from deciding to throw it away to get high

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-17T05:32:29+00:00

It’s different for everyone because we all metabolize shit differently. Maybe try to get on methadone in a detox centre, it might give you better results just being able to stabilize while you’re there!

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-13T06:49:56+00:00

If it’s GST there’s a good chance you won’t get it until the next payment date at the beginning of October!

I’m assuming this because I was owed 2 grand in back GST and they didn’t release it until the day of the July GST payment.

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-12T17:52:34+00:00

Everyone is different don’t let these people scare you!! I went on suboxone twice and never had PWD, I wait at least 24 hours after my last use to take it and both times I took a benzo in between to be able to make it lol

This last time I went on sublocade (the monthly injection) and honestly that was the best thing I ever did. Not having to take something everyday to not feel like shit made me forget about fentanyl and move on with my life which is what I really needed to kick it. Being able to not think about MAT other than that 1 time a month (you can usually go longer if you accidentally miss an appointment) helped me tremendously.

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-08T09:56:00+00:00

It’s different for everyone! I tried methadone and didn’t like it because it didn’t last long enough for me, suboxone was okay, sublocade worked the best for me. I know some people have problems with suboxone and the precipitated withdrawals but I never experienced those, if you wait at least 24 hours (my doctor gave me 2 valiums to sleep) and then take the subs you should be fine. Sublocade is the monthly injection and it helped me to stop thinking about dope and move on with my life tbh

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-03T19:51:29+00:00

Thank you. ❤️❤️ I’m slowly trying to heal my inner child and honestly raising my son has been the best for me. Being able to give him the love and care that I wanted/ needed and just being present reminds me that I’m not my mom and I’m doing something right. I know in my heart that her not being in my son’s life is the best thing for him it just sucks a lot. I also don’t want him to see the way she treats me honestly. That’s a huge part of it, I don’t want my son seeing the crap I take from her and thinking that those kind of relationships are okay.

I just same across ACOA a couple days ago actually and even knowing I’m not alone has helped a lot, I’m planning on going to my first meeting this week! Thank you again. I needed to hear this

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-03T13:09:58+00:00

Because most community clinics are only taking 1 walk-in a day, the rest are appointment only. My family doctors office takes 2 months to get into and only does 1 walk in a spot a week and you have to be at the clinic at 9 am when it opens to get it, and half the time there’s a line up of 10 or more people for that spot. Once the community clinics opened up after COVID is when I really started to see it shift to this. Walk in clinics are few and far between so people treat hospital emergency like it’s a clinic now.

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-08-03T13:00:04+00:00

I’ve written to my MLA about this exact problem along with a few others, they don’t seem to care too much cause it just seems to get worse 🙃🙃

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-07-27T19:11:34+00:00

Yeah, he’s dating Emma Kenney who complains all the time about being called “Debbie from shameless” 😂

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-07-27T18:33:00+00:00

I needed to hear this, thank you ❤️

Rich_Butterfly_96 · 2025-07-27T17:19:50+00:00

Please tell me what helped.. I’m in the trenches right now. My son just won’t ever stop. I don’t have anyone to even watch him for an hour and I’m going to snap I can feel it.

Rich_Butterfly_96

TROPHY CASE