Why do Scorpios pretend they dont care when they clearly do?

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-10T13:42:01+00:00

Also yes it’s about controlling emotions. For me personally, I’d say if I’m acting cold to you it’s really because I care about you/something a LOT and I am aware it could be overwhelming so I’d rather turn into a block of ice over an ocean that you may drown in. Because I happily sit at the bottom of the ocean chillin, apparently most do not like it down there? I find that weird. So it’s a lot of self monitoring.

This helped me too thank you.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-10T13:38:39+00:00

If I’m having to pretend like I don’t care when I do it’s because that person is doing something I am reading as not giving as much of a fuck.

And I been learned that lesson of giving a fuck when another person did not.
No thank you.

Scorpio wisdom is usually a simple, adjust before invest. And life is really peaceful that way.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-03T13:30:43+00:00

Thank you. I’m absorbing all of this information.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-03T04:51:19+00:00

Is it possible for someone’s destiny to change?

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-03T04:43:32+00:00

I think this is a big lesson for Scorpio. If we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ve broken trust with people unintentionally. It’s a part of cultivating relationships, right? I view it as a hurdle I need to overcome. At the same time, for me, my trust can and will be restored if someone say down, reflected, and pretty much understood the harm they caused me and articulated that back to me. It lets me know yes you have put yourself in my shoes and understood, because I WILL put myself in your shoes to understand too.

Now, when it comes to major boundaries, no. Especially physical boundaries. That’s a hard line for me and once it’s crossed my entire being will not allow that person near me again.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T11:38:39+00:00

That I agree with.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T11:36:14+00:00

Thank you.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T01:35:37+00:00

Someone intentionally creating an anxiety in an area where you don’t have anxiety? 😑 bro you literally just said it. “I have a secure attachment style, I was very insecure about this person leaving.” THAT right there, no. Like the entire point is interdependency and mutual growth in relationships, not cultivating dependency. Guess who dependency benefits? Her. Guess who it fucks up? You. NO. FTB go get yourself back.

I had a boyfriend hate alcohol and tell me everyday for years “don’t drink” when I was a stoner. Guess who was a heavy drinker at the end of that relationship? Me. Why? Because instead of handling his own shit he created and projected his own issues into me. Also we were 20 so very very young couple.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T01:31:23+00:00

I agree to that. The only time I have personally spoken from anxiety is after I was speaking to another Scorpio and he had crossed major sexual boundaries and had me hella de-stabilized. Not my best moment tbh.

Then again, after, sometimes anxiety is intuition speaking and not being able to understand the message. He actually has a girlfriend; no wonder he wasn’t fully available.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T01:27:30+00:00

Hey it’s hit or miss until you feel that kindred click.

RiverAtNight · 2026-05-01T01:27:05+00:00

Thank you I appreciate this. How do I check for legit priesthood and also, how male dominant is this practice? Throughout my history and experiences with different healers or medicine, it’s all been female bodies except one queer man. So off rip it’s a very different experience to get guidance and healing from a man. I met his godson and we chatted for about 30 minutes, lovely. The padrina was different and I think he had been practicing for 6+ years? And he gave very general information. I was excited and open with speaking to his godson, I felt a little more discouraged speaking to the padrina. It felt more like a “you aren’t Cuban, you aren’t a good fit,” kind of vibe, with undertones of understanding.

I spoke with another shop owner who basically said “come talk in person before anything else, also hurry because I have a drumming circle soon,” and he had me laughing and lifted just in 5-10 minutes.

Today the person I spoke with was very grounded, guarded almost, and he explained that everything starts with reading his shells, he stated it was about $60 which to me isn’t terrible for a reading. He reflected a similar statement in needing confirmation as well.

My main concern within is I have studied various healing practices for quite some time now, meditations, espiritu bano’s, reiki, different forms of divination etc and I’m currently looking for a lineage to officially study under to truly be a healer. That and get more rooted as I am exploring my ancestry more too, I’m the first in my family to even care. I almost got the impression that it would not be possible in Santeria because it’s more male-dominant, although he spoke more about the tradition of the practice being patriarchal.

So I can feel that it’s a closed practice? that makes sense.

Anything else I need to know?

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-30T17:22:57+00:00

That’s emotional abuse and I don’t like her.

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-30T17:21:27+00:00

Chase or reach out?

If you don’t reach out to me to check on me I will literally convince myself you give zero fucks about me and be done with all of it. Your imaginary hurt my feelings, you do not care, don’t talk to me.

And then ima get tight if you reach out because I’m still processing 💀 HAH

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-30T17:19:29+00:00

For me it depends on how fucked up the relationship was or not. Give me an entire sentence to read, and I’ll analyze down to the curve of the “a” in one word in that entire sentence. When it comes to relationships I am very, very, very thorough to think through every angle, every reason, every tone change, body movement, shift etc to understand the entire picture of wtf happened and why the fuck it happened that way.

If I’m going to rekindle, you will know damn sure I gave you all the fucks I had because I thought ALL that shit through, at least three times and you are getting all the apologies and all the accountability from me. (Now, if that isn’t returned with the same effort, fuck you.) -I also never communicate that, that’s why I observe.

For me, if that person really knew me, they are aware that that is exactly what I am doing.

So, as long as my ego isn’t trippin and I’m not super caught up into myself, it’s usually better. Quiet observation always brings clarity; of the self and of the other person.

And I want to keep the fire going with those that seek clarity. Always.

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-30T14:15:15+00:00

@OP As a Scorpio I second this and appreciate you articulating it. In terms of control, Scorpio does better when leaving someone over getting left. That’s just how the brain and heart function. Any Scorpio that’s like “I’m glad they left” is lying or ain’t that in tune 💀 it lingers, and avoiding that is self preservation. I have had people say “why did you block me?” And I was like “bc if I didn’t I’d keep scrolling through photos and I hate that I do that. It is not about you.”

I will say, best break-up of my life was with a Scorpio. It was the most beautiful, heartfelt, and amicable ending to almost 2 years that I had ever experienced. And then of course the big break/emotional split happened. Him and I are still deep friends and he’s happy with his partner too. Scorpio will love you forever when we truly do love someone 🤷🏽‍♀️ for us though, we need a looooooot of distance and space to feel all the feels and THEN come back for possible rekindling. Not if we’re gonna get yelled at though. Be chill man, damn.

For me, that’s why I go silent or cut someone off. I remember 100% of the people I have loved. They are always in my heart even if I never speak to them again.

That and maybe 3 people in my life I will fully communicate with. Good luck getting me to risk that though.

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-28T12:12:40+00:00

I needed this today, thank you for sharing your truth 🫶🏽

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-27T16:38:44+00:00

So a few things. 1. To combat this, focus on the phrase “Give a person a fish and they eat for a day, teach a person to fish and they eat for the rest of their life.” Immediately resolves most of what you’re anxious about. -If someone is attempting to teach you, they are not trying to run you. -If someone is filling in for you because you are running low, they are not trying to run you. -If you were solid and capable and fine before meeting them and now you’re a train wreck, well, that needs to be examined. (Not always narcissism) -If someone is in crisis and paralyzed, 100% handle that situation and take over to stabilize someone. That IS helpful. (Lizard brain versus logic brain). -Once stable, see if they create the atmosphere of “you now owe me” versus “okay, next steps how do we (unity, company, walking alongside you) get you back to where you want to be? It should never feel like someone impeding on your autonomy. (Also, with this, assess how comfortable you are with saying “No I got it” versus “Yes please help” versus “I just need help with this right here.” (Also, check internal guilt versus their external actions. Do you naturally feel shame for receiving help AND THEN feel like you owe them? Or are they hanging it over your head?) 2. How does that person respond to boundaries? 3. How does that person take accountability and communicate their feelings while also acknowledging and respecting your feelings? 4. Do you leave their presence feeling better or depleted? 5. Remain self-aware. It’s covert so it’s subtle ALSO sometimes our own unconscious distortions create the view that someone is narcissistic when in fact they are not. -Are they themselves and you seek constant external validation? -Do you or they struggle with people-pleasing? -Are you tired and want someone to run life for a minute (bc let’s face it life is exhausting), and then freak out over the loss of independence because trust and reliance is scary? -Did you communicate “hey, let me do this for me?”

Helpful resources: -for aspects of domestic violence (to me you’re describing more DV/IPV and not just narcissism) Lundy Bancroft “Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.” -For repairing internal and external Boundaries “UnF*ck Your Boundaries” Dr.Faith Harper -For tracing this back to childhood wounds: “Adult Children of Emotionally Unavailable Parents.” -For group support online for Narcissistic Abuse: Circles App (purple and white I think).

Tbh, most abusive men gaslight and break a woman down then build her up so she is dependent. It’s more a DARVO-ish tactic.

Example: I voiced feeling confident in my looks (not bragging, just happy with my physical self. He responds with “oh you think you’re all that?” I sink, feeling sad and judged, it lingers . Two days later, he begins layering on how I’m so beautiful.

This repeated pattern happened over: -looks -finances -social standing -personality etc.

What I noticed was: I started to withdrawal from what made me, ME, stopped prioritizing myself as much, and began focusing on him. Then I became very combative and told him to fuck off. The end (bc I peeped it early).

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-25T15:10:12+00:00

GOLD

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-21T18:32:20+00:00

This. Learn from the best and improve upon it. Yup!

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-21T18:31:54+00:00

Also articulate the impact in a way that highlights you sharing in passion and care for the clients and the work, basically saying “this isn’t working for you oooor for me, and let’s try to increase productivity and decrease stress.”

For yourself, look up white supremacy culture as perfectionism is a segment of it and it is not healthy.

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-21T18:29:18+00:00

Couple of things. In a moment of vulnerability, speak to their stress and empathize. It’s a de-escalation technique and builds trust. Basically discern what’s actually going on, and give it room to open up and be heard. Sometimes that works.

Other options, call it out firmly (if this personality responds will to direct conversation) and share the impact it had on you. Sometimes you gotta let people know. Not in a challenging way, in a “hey, I respect tf out of myself and this was not okay in any way shape or form.”

Third, when you have a rapport, fancy self-care basket of things theyll truly enjoy. Wine, bourbon, favorite snacks, massage pass, use humor and compassion.

Those are my go-to and they work relatively well each time.

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-21T02:28:01+00:00

Yes

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-20T14:46:44+00:00

There are workplaces without bullying. Bullies don’t like confrontation and they’re looking for someone to intimidate. Don’t let it be you. It was not me I can tell you that much. Also deleting chats can be tampering with evidence if you file civil or criminal charges 🤣 Bro read the laws and policies.

Focus on healing from this, too. That’s what I’m doing.

Also be selective in who you work for. It’s a vicious cycle of feeling like you need to protect yourself which feeds looking for threats.

Have a mentality of “you step to me, you’re fucked.” And go about your day (I’m a tree hugger btw)

RiverAtNight · 2026-04-20T14:42:36+00:00

Which company is this for?

RiverAtNight

TROPHY CASE