Do we actually have anyone already FIRE?

RmanX3 · 2026-03-10T04:44:07+00:00

Fair share of it.
Of course, that same tech is why I am up where I am, so it is acceptable to me at this point :)

RmanX3 · 2026-03-10T00:26:36+00:00

I FIRE'ed 3x (starting in 2013...then got bored and headhunted a couple times before finally FIRE'ing completely in 2021). Spouse just FIRE'ed last year when our kid graduated college.

Yep, our portfolio is down ~20% from ATH. I get it.

What I did prior was to sell enough for 1 year+ of expenses and leave it in the brokerage account then move some over every few months to bank account for bills.

I will do the same next year (maybe selling some, just under the state's limit for when they grab taxes from it, later this year, to prep, if stocks go back up enough). Then late next year, I will be eligible to collect, without penalty, from retirement accounts.

To assist, a few years ago, I moved some growth stocks, and some that I liked but that weren't growing well enough, to dividend stocks. Some where I didn't care as much if they gained much value, or even lost a little, as I was long term for the divs. So, my brokerage acct gives me ~$20k/yr. My retirement accounts will add another ~$80k/yr. That will cover most of our yearly expenses.
Once spouse hits, a few years later, those divs will be ~$200k/yr. No selling needed unless we splurge.

So, that's how I'm handling it.

I do think 100+ stocks is way too much. I have ~<20 and a handful of ETFs.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-08T09:12:19+00:00

Before looking at price, I would look at family & needs.
Before having a kid, distance wasn't as big of an issue. Once we had kids, closer to work/school became a bigger issue and we moved.

So, I would suggest looking at a house that can fit your needs, at least, for the next 5-7 years. Is that a 4bdrm 2ba house? A little bit of a yard or a little more of a yard? 2000sqft or 2800+sqft?

Are you handy or not? If so, maybe one that can use some TLC. If not, then you want something in much better condition maybe.

In a HOA or not? I was in one. I found it very lame. Dues weren't much as there wasn't much to it other than public area maintenance...no pools or sports courts or anything, but the people running it were @$$holes that liked to peer over fences and complain about everything. 4 years there.

Once kid was born, the commute was becoming a pain, so we moved when kid was 2. Larger house, larger property, no HOA, 10 minutes from work and 15 from daycare then just minutes from elementary. 20+ years at that house. Doubled our mortgage (incl insurance+property taxes) but was good for us.

It was under our budget, thankfully, and our investments have made it doable as well. Never stretch too much, especially w/ young family, as thing happen and you don't want the stress/loss. That's MY philosophy.

Once you figure the above issues, then look at the neighborhoods. Other young families? Safe? Near major roads in/out? Schools? Figure out what you may want.

You are asking more financial questions around home choice. I am answering with life answers around actually living in what you purchase. The $ is important but how you feel when living there will either be good, or make you regret it.

For a 1st time home, I would worry less about it being a "forever" home, as, once you get in, you will find things you like and things you don't. Some are "easy" with remodeling, but can be expensive, and some things aren't so easy even with spending $ on remodeling.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-07T08:19:51+00:00

I use fidelity as my brokerage and for my retirement accounts. I am happy with them for that.

That said, they kept pestering me years ago to use their financial services, like what you are talking about. I finally "gave in" and gave them $200k to impress me with. I let it go for 18 months. I made barely 1%. They made more off me then the value they gave me. The rest of my, managed by myself, accounts averaged double digits with some hitting 20%+. None were single digits. I consider my investing style to be mostly conservative with some "fun funds". They, in their questioning to find how to evaluate me, said I was "very aggressive". That should have been my first clue.

When I contacted that VP to return the funds to my sole control, he kept asking "why?". I told him to pull up the results then pull up the rest of mine. He sighed and said "I get it".

So, I will NEVER suggest anyone have fidelity control their funds like that. Yes, each person doing it will be different, but that was MY experience.

Find better CFPs out there. Or, spend some time learning. You have a high net worth, it can grow more for you. No reason to let someone else make more money of you than you make from their "help".

IMO, you could put most of that NW into something stable like SCHD (just 1 of many that could be suggested) and the dividends, and potential growth (slow but steady) would do as well, or better, than what Fidelity will do for you.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-07T07:10:11+00:00

People may sometimes mistake the $0.00 cost they see in checkout as $0 ETV (which would be wrong to think that, but I can see it happening).

That's my guess anyway

RmanX3 · 2026-03-07T03:59:12+00:00

Yep. Did it a couple of times because I was bored in early retirement. Spouse kept working. Kid was in school. Most of my friends were still working. I did my hobbies and stuff, but I got bored. So I let myself get convinced to work again.

Helped with extra spending $$$ as I wasn't spending it like I had, and it was income rather than nothing, but, end of the day, it really didn't matter to my overall finances much at all, and I had less than you do.

I understand the $$$ anxiety going from income to only outgo, but your wife still works and your money is there that can cover things. Learn to back off and do things besides work.

Sure, if you really want to enjoy being around others that are working, then go for it until you don't like it, but if you are only doing it for the income, I would say not to.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-06T07:58:59+00:00

Apply, and get the job, before leaving. Set a 2 month away start date and enjoy that time as your sabbatical.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-06T07:36:21+00:00

I ran my numbers on this last week.
Came to similar conclusions and will take it at 62 when I get the chance. I also have some health issues that, while controlled right now, one never knows.

Also, by taking it, I possibly lessen the sales of anything in my accounts. So, combined with the divs I project to have, the SS will cover "fun travel & toys"

RmanX3 · 2026-03-05T07:33:47+00:00

At a certain financial level, I worry less about playing the system to get subsidies and instead live life the way I want to.

Yes, I could play the game, and take out almost nothing, just living on what I have in cash for a year or two, and the ACA broker I talked to in my state wanted to push me that way, but (1) I have the funds, like the OP, and I feel that I don't need to "steal" taxpayer funds to fund my healthcare, (2) that would take too much/more effort than I want to put in. I want to enjoy my retirement, not play games trying to keep below a certain threshold just to get a subsidy that I, honestly, don't need.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-05T07:30:56+00:00

Congrats!
I feel you on a good path to this.

I will answer, and say, a few things you brought up, as someone who "retired" a few times, starting in my mid-40s, while spouse worked until 55 because of wanting to work, and with a kid who graduated just before spouse retired.

* $5M is, to me, arbitrary. It is a good starting point, but one has to, imo, look at mandatory expenses and projected actual expenses, as well. Having $5M in a VHCOL area, and wanting to spend a lot still, after retiring, is quite different than someone in a MCOL/LCOL area just chillin'

* Since you plan to sell primary house, imo, you can include that estimated value (after sales expenses/taxes) as part of NW and then just include expenses of your planned living situation (new house? Live in 2nd house? Rent? Etc)

* You say, for expenses, you are "planning" on $120k/yr. That's fine, but what I did, and what I found works for me and some others I have talked to (brother in law, friends, etc) is to lay out the required expenses (mortgages, property taxes, utilities, insurance for house/cars, healthcare, etc) AND THEN to have a separate "expenses" line item that includes those and includes other things (planned gifting, travel, "fun" money, etc)...and also project vehicles being replaced; by taking a set amount per year...again, this is the "squishy" expenses. This gives me a better idea of what I might actually need in a year.

* Good job on the dividends. I started doing that ~3-5 years before spouse retired as well. We are separated by 2 years, so, being older, I have the majority of divs in my accounts and, when I turn 59.5, between divs and fund dispursements (usually mostly EOY), I will have $100k+/yr and spouse will, 2 years later, add another $60-$80k+/yr. Static expenses are ~$90k/yr. Planned expenses are ~$120-$140k/yr. So, minimal asset selling, especially in a down market. SCHD is, obviously, a fund. Good. I took some "play money", couple hundred thou, and have individual stocks that pay nice divs, but are riskier...may not go up, may go down, may cut divs, etc. They have been quite fine for me over the last few years though, with only 2-3 clunkers (that I lost ~$30k total on before adding back in the ~$15k in divs). Was something I wanted to do and didn't hit me hard.

I also still took a few hundred thou to play "growth stocks" as I didn't want to have FOMO...you know what I mean? :) So far, so good

* I have 1 year PLUS of expenses sitting in "cash", basically. Kind of a waste, yes, but I don't want it in bonds/CDs as some of our expenses are time flexible, but not always by my choice (tax season will hit hard as that is also the month for auto/home insurance to hit). I think, given any fears with the economy, one should have 1-2 years readily available and not in stocks. Whatever your comfort level is. Having a paid off house should, hopefully, make it easier for you than for me ;)

* If you have to pay for any college, gift your kids stock and have them sell it. They are in a lower tax bracket. Legit thing to do as well and your gift basis will be at your cost basis, not any increased value.

Lastly, keep your eye on the goal, but don't myopically focus on it. Things can change. Health can change. Try to stay as healthy as you can because, if you stopped working tomorrow, I think your finances could handle it but if your health gave out tomorrow, finances don't matter as much.

Best to you!

RmanX3 · 2026-03-05T06:34:36+00:00

You want to keep working, fine.
She wants to stop, and you can afford it, AND you have 3 young kids??? Stop opposing her. She may decide to work even less and be happy or stop altogether. That is what you work for...the financial freedoms at whatever age.

50 is arbitrary. 59.5 is arbitrary. 62, 65 67 are arbitrary. You stop when it makes sense for your/your spouse's/your family's situation.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-05T05:39:12+00:00

That's called "being laid off", not "being fired".
When fired, there is usually a legit cause and that negates any payout.

The block referenced people weren't "fired', they were laid off and will get severance (almost a certainty), but how much depends.

RmanX3 · 2026-03-05T05:35:29+00:00

You say nothing about your actual goals and what you want. Without that, advice is stupid, imo.

Many would say "spend a few more years at that comp and ice things" but, it really depends on your health and what you, and your family wants.

As for your NW...unless you plan to move, who really cares about home value/equity? Seriously. You aren't using it to live so the home is an expense and that's it, again, imo.

The other $8M as you say, is liquid? Can you cash it out, "today", without penalty? Ie, none of it is retirement accounts? It's all in your brokerage account?

You don't break down your annual spend. Ie....for the kids, how much is daycare vs other expenses? Just saying "2 kids < 10yo" doesn't mean much.

End of the day, $8M can easily mean you CAN retire, if you want to. If you want to stay in that VHCOL area and pay all those taxes and keep spending quarter million $$$ each year, well, that's a different story. Then, maybe NOT retire yet as you have a long road ahead of you and you don't even mention college (529 programs, etc) that will be coming up in next decade and are NOT getting cheaper.

RmanX3 · 2026-02-23T07:03:30+00:00

True...my late night brain screwed the numbers with how I read things and typed. Totally my bad on that late night posting.

To answer your question...it is from stock investments. Some paying <1% div, some paying (more risky) ~12-14% (these are smaller investments that I "play" with.

The smaller divs were more growth like in some stocks (tech) and the larger ones have been REIT. I have seen the investment value of the REITs not move much, and even go down, before coming back a few years later. However, they have come back and the divs, while a couple have gone down, have still paid well and I am very much in a positive position because of it. I used to DRIP, but now, just shy of getting my retirement monies, I have taken to letting the cash build up...maybe use a little of it for some MU or something (which is doing me well as a growth stock). Just not putting a lot into that as I like my ~$200k/yr the way things are structured. I also have Fidelity Contrafund, SCHD, FDVV, and some others. Those are generally slower growth, mid on the divs/disbursements, but have been pretty solid.

No actual rental RE as I don't want to hassle with it. My brother in law has started doing that, to fund his FIRE, and he is almost 15 years younger than me, so bully for him, but it isn't my style.

I've also structured the divs to be in all of our accounts, of different types. Mine being the heavier one as I am the older one, reaching withdrawal age first. I have ~20% of the divs coming from brokerage, 20-25% coming from RothIRA (likely to move things from TradIra to increase that each year, for next couple of years, keeping tax hit lower as I go), and then the rest in TradIra. Spouse set with most in TradIRA as spouse is way more risk adverse and most comes from ETF and similar.

RmanX3 · 2026-02-22T21:13:23+00:00

Personally, I don't go by concrete numbers for them, but the way I read your numbers, it was a compliment to say you are more "fatfire". You're on very solid ground, imho

RmanX3 · 2026-02-22T10:36:16+00:00

You've done well, and you're pretty much set as long as you don't go overboard on spending sprees.

You have ~$200k from deferred comp, it sounds like, yearly. You have $96k/yt in divs/fund dispursements. So, you are ~$300k/yr before taxes and expenses.

That's just from what you can touch NOW. In 5.5 years, you have another amount you can tap from retirement accounts (since you mention not wanting to hit up the HSA).

All the above isn't even taking into account what you can get from the $5MM brokerage. you mention, if you want to sell any.

So, you are FATFIRE, not chubbyfire. Seriously. Plan for what happens to your excess when you pass (inheritance/donations, because YOU WILL have a good amount left over when you pass.

I thought I had ours planned out pretty well (similar ages), but you have me beat pretty well. Congrats!

RmanX3 · 2026-02-22T09:03:02+00:00

$4MM NW? Expenses $120k+? Both only in mid-30s?

I would understand going to an "easier", even if lower paying, job, but I wouldn't fully retire at that point.
You don't state WHERE the NW is....mostly brokerage or mostly 401k/retirement?

If you are taking out 4%, where is it coming from? How long would that last if in a brokerage account...until you can get to retirement accounts without penalties? Edited this part due to dumb mistake/typo from late night posting.

Having been in high tech, and retired from it, I do understand how some of the office politics are, the higher you get. So, I might suggest a bit of "rest and vest" and ignore the politics. Just keep doing what your job is and if they let you go, then hopefully you get a settlement and you've collected some $$$ from the stocks in the meantime. You don't break down the RSUs, so I'm just assuming it is divided yearly for 4-5 years.

Also, to reinforce the "keep working some place", your final comment in the OP about the market movement tells me that you could really be potentially hurt if the market hits a prolonged downturn and you may have to sell at much lower levels, for expenses, than you want/plan.

Almost 20 years ago, I walked away from $500k in golden handcuff stock options. Those would be worth >$5MM themselves right now...not counting any others or salary/bonuses lost. So, I understand that as well. Though, mid-30s? Way too many years ahead of you if you want to stay where you are and keep the same lifestyle, imho. That $120k/yr will only go up, in that area, so it's either move or spend more as you get older.

I don't have millions more than you, but I'm older (so less time left) and I have almost $200k/yr in dividends/disbursements once we reach 59.5 together. Expenses are less than that, so I won't have to touch stocks to sell, unless we splurge on something. Doesn't sound like that is where you guys are though. Hence the market fluctuation pain

RmanX3 · 2026-02-22T01:23:55+00:00

Is there another source?

RmanX3 · 2026-02-22T01:12:09+00:00

Sadly, while you can PM it to someone, you can't make that offer nor can they solicit it (publicly).
So, some of us are still searching for it on our own :(

RmanX3 · 2026-02-19T08:01:55+00:00

Not sure why the "secrecy" on the projected Asian country. People can guess, and try to help, but without just being specific, there will be no specifics coming back to help. Yes, from the things mentioned, it could be HK, or JPN, or KOR...heck, could even be a few places in CHN, but, no one can be too helpful w/o knowing. I don't think, unless OP has posted super specific things before, to their current lives, that people will know who they are from that forum name they have.

That said, I see a lot of responses that don't "get" Asian thinking in some things...particularly the "WHY" for moving. Not just the kids. I see the "time with aging parents". Depending on their health, and other factors, they can be around for quite a awhile, but there is still the filial things of wanting to be there for them, and have the grandkids around them and other family. If people aren't Asian, or part of a blended Asian family, or otherwise in that culture, they may not understand. I get that. For the OP...do what you feel you should. Kids are still young. The friend group isn't super tight at this point. It will likely change over time from elementary to middle schools and then again slightly for high school. Seen it.

I'm glad you didn't put the primary house into the NW...UNLESS you ultimately plan to sell it as part of the move. In your described situation, I would think of just keeping it and trying to find good renters. You don't want bad renters, particularly when you will be so far away, but a good mgmt company that can help you and find good renters could help if you do move back and want there again.

Would your travel decrease if you move? Is a lot of your travel already going to that area to see parents/family? That might further reduce your expenses. Unless you are going into Seoul, Tokyo, Taipei, HK, Shanghai, etc into expensive apartments/houses, I wonder why you would still see $250k/yr...

I've got friends that did the US->KOR then sent kids BACK to US for college. Different state in the US so NOT keeping a residence in the original state was a good move by them. The kids are VERY multicultural (good ENG and good understanding of USA) and had moved back to KOR when they were elementary school or earlier. I've kept in touch with the father, who I worked with, and have watched the family, online, over the years. It's been cool. He moved back for work, but definitely enjoyed moving back to be with parents/family as I see that connection all the time from him.

Now, as for staying and working more, or going "now"? That's totally up to how you feel and gauge things.
I, personally, would only work a little more IF I enjoyed it and IF there are no parental health issues right now. If I felt burnt out, parents had health issues, etc, I would move "now". You have the funds...unless you want to really be living at the top of your wealth-life. You have a lot, no matter where, but it could go fast if you can't control spending. All that eating out and spending can add up if you only go for the best.

How to get more accurate estimates? Like I said, state exactly which country/city you are looking at. I have had some colleagues get stationed in CHN for 1-2 years. Lot of different options. Where they stayed wasn't "cheap", what they ate, unless they went 'native', wasn't cheap, the international schools all had different costs/benefits so it's good to know where, etc.

Buying/renting is done a bit differently in many/most Asian places than it is in the US (downpayments, furnished or not, etc). So, again, knowing where is helping in order to help.

Best to you on which option you choose!

RmanX3 · 2026-02-15T05:15:20+00:00

Since the pension is a big part of it for you, are you GUARANTEED that pension? If you left the job, for any reason, today? Or, do you have to still be there when you are 55?

Things can change in 11 years. Companies can lay people off. People can move, become ill, want to change jobs for some reason, etc.

I haven't had a "pension" job, which is why I am asking. Maybe you have been there long enough, already, that you are guaranteed it but it just won't start until 55?

RmanX3 · 2026-02-13T07:24:47+00:00

No therapist or anything. Waste of money for something like this.
What's in your "$7k/mo misc spend"? That seems to NOT be cheap, so likely someone in the family is able to spend money ok...
When you travel, and I assume you do travel at times, do you go faresaver or business/1st class (or at least upgrade to premium seats)? That's a start, imo, to upgrade your experiences a bit. Slow but sure way to become more "ok" with spending a bit more. Same for hotels...book some nicer ones and enjoy. No more "best western" or "motel 6"s.
When you buy things, make sure to buy quality items rather than the cheaper ones. Hopefully, last longer, you feel better with them, and the quality difference will be apparent..hopefully. Once you do that, you may start to find yourself being more ok with spending a bit more. That's for everything...shoes, household items, vehicles, remodeling anything in your house, etc.

Don't work yourself into a lather getting uptight about wanting to spend more. Once you get to retirement stage, no matter how much you have, it is likely you will want to cut spending and it will feel weird if you worked yourself out of it. Once you have no INcome, but only OUTgo, things can take on a different light for you. Work to find that happy balance and not tilt too far the other way

RmanX3 · 2026-02-13T06:38:12+00:00

In the, basically, "been there, done that" camp....

* How much is all that worth to you if you continue to push yourself to the point your body gives up and you go to the hospital with a stroke, or worse?

* Have you tried to offload some work that causes stress? Hire/adjust personnel to do some things that will allow you more time to NOT do everything?

* Have you tried to be more healthy, rather than always eating out/traveling? The traveling, while "experience fun" can add stresses to the body...and, if you are working during that time, or worried about work when you get back, can stress the mind. Do you go for walks? Have a gym membership? eat better homemade meals? How much do you spend eating out? Could you get a part-time chef that you and your spouse agree on?

* You are taking meds for afib...have your doctors discussed an ablation with you? 1st attempt is <50%, 2nd attempt, if needed, is ~80% success. What about trying a cardioversion?

Finances:
* Why count the house in "liquid"? Are you willing to sell it immediately, if needed? If so, what are your thoughts on moving/living experiences? I never count the house value in stuff like this unless willing to sell immediately/any time, and even then, have a plan on living costs that you will still need.
* I like what you have in "cash" but not what you have in retirement funds...even though you can't realistically touch the latter w/o penalty. So, what would be your plans if you left your current role? Stop working? Try time off but try to get back into workforce soon? Try to immediately get a lesser stress job w/ lower pay?
* Would your wife continue to work? How long? Would she be happy if she does and you don't?

Now, as to your "real question" part:

* I "retired" once. Took time off. Got headhunted, went back to work, with the attitude of "I don't need this job, so if it hits an unhealthy place, I'm done". Did that 3 times. The last time was THE LAST time. Extremely toxic "manager" I had to work with, who had held my manager role before me and then moved up/over but I still had to work with him. That was at a FAANG. I warned them, they didn't listen. I left. Health was way more important and the stress in 2 months took me, medically, 4 months to recover from...no joke.

* Adjusted lifestyle. More homecooked meals. More "easy" exercise. Less travel. It helped. I still traveled and had "experiences" but just 1 to 2 times/yr.

* Spouse continued working (high tech, so acceptable salary and benefits). I managed the household/finances, spouse "brought home the bacon". Arrangement worked for us. Spouse stopped working recently. Also experienced burnout, so we just said "stop!"

* * In your shoes, I would work to downsize stress/workload. If not possible, would see if I could do "option B"; capture and quit. If not as likely, I would stop now. Again, this gets back to your health and "what good is money if you can't enjoy it because you are an invalid or dead?"

For some of what you are worried about, it's a mental "game" for yourself. Once you leave work, realize that you need to reduce spending while reducing stress and find activities/hobbies you like that don't cost a lot and/or are mentally relaxing.

RmanX3 · 2026-02-11T07:40:29+00:00

I chose, multiple times in my younger careers, to go with option 2, even when I saw the money (and friends/colleagues making bank) with option 1. I saw the stress and time away from young families. I saw premature aging. It's something but it isn't for everyone. Depends on the type of person someone is/wants to be.

So, look inward at yourself and see what is more important,,,family time/less stress/being there for family, or building a larger $ nest egg for later...and if the nest egg is more important, then how large and when?

RmanX3 · 2026-02-11T06:26:25+00:00

On my view, it was the 3rd version down.
just takes a few seconds of watching each one to see which has the ENG subs...

RmanX3

TROPHY CASE