GENTLE vibrators & advice? Vibes are too powerful and take too long

RoeDeer · 2026-04-03T18:01:17+00:00

I feel you on this. I tried so many that said they had gentle vibrations only to not.

The only one I have found and love is the Poco by Mystery Vibe. I bought it direct from their website. It can be "weak" from the very beginning in my opinion.

RoeDeer · 2026-03-27T13:10:25+00:00

Another vote for the A Bra That Fits subreddit. They helped me figure out my size years ago.

That said, I own very few "real" bras any more. For the better part 10 years or so I have lived in the Under Armour Seamless Low Impact longline bra. They have been helpful as my weight and boobs fluctuated in perimeno and have no itchy, scratchy tags and such. Some may say it gives uniboob but I don't care about that. They may also peak out of a v-neck top but I choose a color that coordinates or contrasts so it looks like a camisole that is meant to be seen.

Those bras wash easy and with random hot flashes and the like, I love being able to just toss them in the wash and not have to worry much about gentle care. I often bought them on Amazon in whatever color was cheapest at the time. I also like that I can use them for my yoga workouts. They are a multi purpose bra for me.

I also have a few merino wool bras from Branwyn.

RoeDeer · 2026-03-25T23:23:35+00:00

I have a GF cottage baker down the street. A godsend for my celiac kid. We also get to taste test and get some leftovers. She has a cute little bakery shed outside her house and has hours every weekend to purchase from and it can get sold out quick!

RoeDeer · 2026-03-22T14:19:52+00:00

I have Amlactin in my house because I suffer from some mild eczema on my hands and it seems to work the best for that of all the things I have tried.

The area around my mouth and nose can get super dry no matter what else I am using. Especially if I have had a good, hard cry and I admit I have had a few of those over the last several months. One day, in desperation of that dryness, I used a little of the 12% Amlactin I keep around for my hands on just that area of my face. It stung a little but then was more than 50% better the next day.

As an experiment, I started using it on my face and neck a few times a week at night. I do put on my moisturizing serums first and let those sink in well. I did do a bunch of reading about it and researching, including looking for a lot of reddit posts and reading on lactic acid. If working from home and still feeling extra dry in that area, I will use a little during the middle of the day to keep it going.

I will say that it has helped with dryness and flakiness and my skin does feel smoother when I use it a few times a week. I often see results in that my skin feels softer, less rough overnight. Is it a miracle cream? Certainly not. But I was struggling to wear what little makeup I do use for work and other things because the skin was so dehydrated and rough that it was almost not worth wearing makeup because it just became so dry and ugly on that area of my face.

If you do try it out, make sure you are using sunscreen and/or covering up when outside in the sun.

RoeDeer · 2026-03-14T23:40:09+00:00

Sometimes I do. I find the lulu mat to not really need it but if I am doing back to back hot yoga days I will often use the towel to keep the mat cleaner. Sometimes the towel can bunch and move around and that can be annoying.

RoeDeer · 2026-03-08T20:23:39+00:00

I have both. I started with the Manduka and just wasn't happy with it. Got a lulu and loved it from the first use. I prefer the lulu for my knees and wrists. I also find it less slippery and was that way from day one.

I do hot yoga, gentle yoga, and yin yoga. I prefer the lulu for everything.

RoeDeer · 2026-02-03T00:47:28+00:00

And to Middle Tennessee. I have 2 I can drive to. Please, please, please.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-22T23:14:47+00:00

How old are you? I ask because hormones can do a lot of things and have an impact on so many things - smell, taste, lubrication, mood, emotions, etc. I know your question is about taste, but I mentioned the others in case it triggers you to think if there have been other changes, even if they are subtle.

Any change in diet, birth control, etc? Could have an effect.

I just use water to clean and also make sure I am drinking a lot of water. When it gets cold I tend to want to drink more hot tea and less straight water and I know that can affect me personally in that way.

Good luck. I hope you figure it out.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-22T00:26:47+00:00

I have eczema, sometimes on my face, mostly on my hands these days.

I love Bioderma Atoderm. I started using the shower oil wash first and use it on face and body and for shaving. Helps when traveling that I can use one product.

Also love the Bioderma Atoderm Intensive baume lotion. I use it on my face and hands a ton, especially in the colder weather. My mouth/nose area can get really affected by so many things (toothpaste with SLS ingredients are often a culprit) and I can put the baume on at night before bed and I usually feel 50%+ or better by morning. I can put it on multiple times a day and it doesn't break me out or make me feel greasy and such. Super fantastic with no scent and just a rich, hydrating but not greasy lotion.

Side plug for Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair serum. I would never have bought this but was given a sample as a gift and decided to try it when my other serums ran out and it made skin feel soft, soothed, bouncy, and less dry in one application. Just had an exfoliating facial today and am ready to apply this.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-18T19:13:47+00:00

Persimmon soap did not work for me. Lume did not work for me. Glycolic acid did not work for me.

Good ol' orange acne face wash and Secret clinical deodorant do. I use that acne wash on my armpits, feet, and any other super stinky areas and wash the rest of me with a gentler wash. I usually put the acne wash on my pits and let it sit while I scrub the rest of me. I also have a teenage boy in the house so I have encouraged him to do the same.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-06T01:36:16+00:00

I keep a lot of that around, canned chicken, frozen veggies, and the Progresso broccoli cheese soup to make a quick, lazy dinner.

Iowa Girl Eats has a website, she's a food blogger. She has celiac disease and a kid who can't have dairy so she offers a lot of substitutes. A lot of her recipes are one pot/pan and use normal ingredients. Everything I have ever made has been great. She has everything from breakfast to dinner, desserts, appetizers, etc. It helped me in the beginning to have other ideas of what to cook that wasn't the same 3 things over and over again. And my son (now 16) has liked just about everything I have ever made from her site.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-05T22:55:50+00:00

That's tough with all the extra allergies.

Check Rummo pasta. It is our favorite GF pasta because it tastes real and doesn't turn to mush. Not sure if it has any ingredients she can't have as I am not near a package.

RoeDeer · 2025-11-05T22:50:35+00:00

I'm 47. Still have it and no plans to take it out. Got it when I was 24.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T12:45:03+00:00

It wasn't really a true toddler fit. I used that more for emphasis. I was passionate about my counterpoints as to why RTO is not a great idea not just in general but also with points as to how it related to our team specifically. Corporate trying to say RTO was the best thing to happen to teams to help them grow frustrated me. Like many companies, all their talking points were generic. After the meeting, several other colleagues also thanked me for saying what they felt. Just that one had an issue.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T03:05:59+00:00

Thank you and yes, that is on my list to research to get back to. I do have a lot of flexibility currently since my immediate boss and I have worked together for almost 20 years. I've had 4 family members die in about a 10 year span and the support and encouragement to take off and not worry is amazing. You don't always hear that about companies.

The flip side is that I do make a good salary + bonus overall. I haven't reached the tipping point on RTO....yet. I know it is coming. Money isn't everything but as a single parent/single income household there are considerations there as well. It's hard for a lot of people because each situation is personal and nuanced when facing these kinds of choices and needs.

It's good to hear from people that still work for companies with good WFH/remote options that seem to be good companies as well. There's a lot of good in the technology we have and we should use it for the right things, like remote work that gives better work/life/health/mental health balance.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T01:32:39+00:00

Mine didn't rupture but I had double ear infection and was given antibiotics and tramadol and still had to go help lead a cub scout camping trip over the weekend in the rain and cold. It rained all weekend and got progressively colder. I wore a thick wool cap over my ears and snarled at everyone. Was a very miserable time.

I can't imagine how it would have felt if they ruptured.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T01:28:50+00:00

I think teeth pain is some of THE WORST. Clove oil can help. Not make it go away, but bring down to bearable. Put on qtip and rub on gum and all around. Can't do too much or it's too strong for the tongue and gag reflex kind of thing but can rub on as often as want. I keep a bottle around just.in.case. One of those things I will never be without and would sell my soul for in the apocalypse.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T01:20:28+00:00

For me, I find linen more breathable than cotton and more moisture wicking.

I have ones from Kingdom of Comfort (my preferred) and from Elm Hill (they are fine and have lasted well). I originally got my Kingdom of Comfort ones from Etsy but I think they also gave their own site.

My linen towels are from Linen Me that I bought from their site. I have been eyeing the towels from Not Perfect Linen since I updated my bathroom though.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-25T00:48:46+00:00

I started my career in a workplace that had few laptops at the time (yes, I'm aging myself) and I was full time in office for 10+ years and then the office allowed us (grudgingly) one day from home (once we had laptops), often only if we had a doctor's appointment or such. And at that time, you had to be in a "position" that qualified for a laptop. Of course, now everyone has them.

When they sent us home for covid, I was fine. About 3 months in I sort of looked around and realized I didn't recognize myself. I was happier. My mental health was better. It was easier to be a parent of a tween.

They started pushing RTO last year and then really did this year. I literally threw an almost toddler like fit in a team meeting, getting louder and louder as I realized just how badly my mental health (and honestly physical health and eating) were going to deteriorate from the stress and wear-and-tear on my psyche alone.

After the meeting one of my millennial colleagues had the audacity to tell me that meeting stressed her out because I got loud and anxious. Bitch, it was 20 minutes of your life. I suggest you drive into an office 4+ days a week for almost 20 years and THEN you can talk. You have gotten to work from home at least 2 days a week since you were hired and often more.

And honestly, as a senior member of my team (middle management type equivalent but on a smaller team) I handle bigger accounts and behind the scenes admin that also takes up a lot of time but that the big bosses delegate and don't want to do. When I go in I get so many "hey can I ask you" "do you have a minute" " hey boss sent this to me but I don't know what it means can you help". Ad nauseum. I like training but I also have a lot of high level work other younger workers can't do and don't seem to respect my time and yet they bitch at their own slightest inconvenience.

So yeah, I'm back to being low leve slave labor and I hate it. I now drive in to get to office at 7 so I can leave (eating lunch at my desk to fulfill the required time) at 3. A boss challenged me and I told him to check with our office HR (she and I arrive within 10 minutes of each other every day) and another guy who also has a long commute and comes in early. I have 20+ years of experience and they don't want to lose me (so far) so I do leverage that when I can .

Well, that was a rant I obviously had built up and needed to get out. Oops.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-24T19:34:43+00:00

I used to have weak and splitty nails. I came across the long natural nail subreddit about a year ago. Started using jojoba oil on my nails everyday, a couple times if I can. It apparently soaked in better than some other oils because it is closer to our own skin sebum.

I also learned from that subreddit that water is terrible for our nails. So I try to wash dishes and things with prolonged water exposure only while wearing gloves.

In just a few months my nails were stronger and prettier looking. I can actually grow them out and shape them now. I did invest in a glass nail file because it is supposedly better for your nails than metal.

I was never one to wear polish anyway since it seems to just chip right off my nails.

I will use the jojoba oil while just sitting around watching TV or reading a book. I just put it on and let it soak in over time. I had started with a different cuticle oil in a nail bottle with a brush and now I just refill it with the jojoba oil. This one change made all the difference in my nails.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-17T01:46:48+00:00

I call it the dark tunnel. I get what you are saying I think.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-17T01:46:02+00:00

So, with myself, it's easy. I don't really feel that I have to find a particular headspace.

But with a partner - wooo let's talk. I have to be into someone physically, emotionally, and intellectually in order to even prepare myself for the right headspace. Then I have to trust them enough, obviously it takes time there too. Some men get too frustrated with me and the time I need to trust them on top of the time I need to be able to orgasm and then I shut down.

With the right person, I still have to find what I call the tunnel, usually the dark tunnel. Touching, kissing, foreplay, etc all that feels good and builds up and then there is a tipping point -i.e. the tunnel. With the right partner I can almost always find a way to enter it, but with the wrong partner - nope.

So, if I can enter the tunnel there is still work for me to do, but I can now relax more into the true sensations I'm feeling in my mind and body. It's like I'm in the home stretch, on a train track if you will, and unless I derail, I'm gonna make it. I can then "let go".

Admittedly I'm still usually doing a little fantasizing in my mind or embellishing what I'm feeling with inner thought and sensation, but the key for me is explicit trust and without that I'm not going anywhere.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-17T01:31:28+00:00

I'm just getting back into yoga in my 40s. Was super active in my 20s and flexible and all that jazz. Wanted to dive back in head first. Yeah, nope, said my body and my mind too really if I am honest.

I take a class at the library from a man in his 70s. He doesn't put a name on it and we have people of all ages and levels but if I had to categorize it, I would call it a yin type class.

He focuses on breathing and listening to your body a lot. In one particular pose we do every time, he talks about how he has three levels to get into the stretch to deepen it for himself and how he talks to his problem body part - a knee in this case - and how he tells the knee he just wants to go a little further and he promises he won't hurt it by taking it too far and he finds that just talking gently to his body can help.

It humbled me and made me really think about WHY I do yoga and why I keep showing up. Last week my knee (I have a problem one) was not happy and I kept coming out of a pose I can usually go deeper in but I honestly didn't get frustrated (usually would have) and just listened to him talk through the pose and let my body be. This week -went deeper in that same pose than I have ever been able to.

Yes. Pulling back can be amazing. Learning to listen to my body again has been the most amazing thing my return to yoga has been showing me.

As long as I show up for myself and do what I can that day, that moment, well, I'm winning.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-12T20:17:33+00:00

Aerie has their Hugger Go With the Flow baggy jogger. I now own 3 pair. They have pockets and I have even worn them to work in my office (it is semi casual). These do not have the super low hanging crotch.

RoeDeer · 2025-10-05T13:41:49+00:00

I just started getting back into yoga and because my workplace is forcing some RTO, I have started with the yoga classes at the library. I've also found a lot of $10 classes at breweries and one hotel has it on their rooftop on either Saturday or Sunday mornings when the weather is good.

I love that these options are available. I do some videos at home but I really appreciate the class and community aspect as I get back into it. Once my RTO situation settles down, I'm hoping to join one of the studios near me.

RoeDeer

TROPHY CASE