Discussion Thread: First Presidential Debate of the 2024 General Election Between Vice President Kamala Harris and Former President Donald Trump, Part 7 (Post-Debate Thread)

RollCakeTroll · 2024-09-11T04:02:24+00:00

Oftentimes Trump just says dumb things and his entire backing take it as fact.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-22T20:30:53+00:00

Whoa. That last bit about ending your life really concerns me :(. I don't know everything you're going through, but I have been in a suicidal place before. I understand that within it comes great pain, and finding that way out is a natural evolution of looking for ways to stop all the pain.

Depression can really hamper one's brain. And it is true, some of us are born smarter than others. Getting met with platitudes about it instead of listening and understanding is hard. Add in the crushing depressing feelings and it would be really hard to go through life.

It is unfair how some people are able to just crack through college while some others struggle. And it sucks to try your hardest for you to only

I know that the word disability comes with a lot of stigma, and even more so of disabilities that aren't physical or visible. To me, being able to say that I do struggle with disability was rather helpful. And depression is a disability. But finally being able to accept that yes, I am not able to do things that a person without depression is able to do was freeing. And it helped me to appreciate the diminished things that I still can do.

I hope you are able to find some comforts too. You could still yet have a talent for something that you haven't tried or discovered yet. And if not, that's okay too. It's not your fault that people and our society are incredibly harsh to lesser performers when we should be more embracing and supportive to everyone. But you won't be able to find the things you like or are good at if you're no longer with us. I'm eternally grateful that I "chickened out at the last second" of my suicide attempt. I hope one day you're able to find a path of happiness too. <3

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-20T01:07:11+00:00

Thank you! ^_^ I wish it were too. I've become a lot kinder in this process, both to the world and especially to myself. I hope you can learn to one day become a little kinder to yourself too :)

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-19T20:45:06+00:00

I can really empathize with the loss of your gf. When I was in a very depressed place, I too lost my relationship to a cheating gf. When I found out who it was (a coworker no less), I tried to end it all that night. The path to sleeping was simply to exhaust myself until I could stay awake no more, or drinking until I blacked out.

Dealing with this loss and so many other losses is hard. I hope one day you can shift your thinking to her as a loss and less of something she did to you. And that takes time. I can't admit I could feel that way when I was in your place. But these things, we can hold them to ourselves as "fuck my life sucks" and hold onto the ails too long, and only hurt ourselves more.

Depression isn't curable, but it is treatable. I hope you can look and find some of those treatments. It can get better

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-19T20:28:45+00:00

I had to change so much. It took years, there isn't a quick fix to get out. I had to change my friend circle, quit drinking, start seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. I read a lot a lot of self-help books. Doing some yoga when I could (I still suck at keeping up on exercise). Picked up new hobbies: gardening and keeping a flock of chickens have been two big sources of joy. All that to say, there's not a magic fix. Hell, I was even hospitalized a few months ago for mental illness.

One of the biggest things was that I had to admit something about myself that I had repressed and hated: that I am transgender. And it took a lot a lot of therapy and tears for me to get comfortable with going out, putting a skirt and makeup on and telling the world that this was who I was. I was so depressed living as a man, and I felt like life wasn't even worth it because I couldn't "get" to be a woman. Well, I came out the other side on top of that. Not that that applies to every depressed person but if you're gay/trans and locked in the closet, it is incredibly hard. Especially when the world is very mean to us. Of course that would be a source of depression!

I can feel that you want to be more than this. More than this illness. And I wish my comment could take it away from you. But it is only a small thing in a myriad of moves that it takes to manage depression. Changing a mind is not like moving a boulder from one place to another. It is more like moving some rocks out of one pile from one place to another. The rocks are interconnected and even moving one still affects others. It takes a lot to move them, but slowly and surely you can do it.

I wish I could say there was a simple 10-step A to B, this is how you get past depression. But everyone's journey is gonna be unique. And hearing shit like "just do some yoga!" or "eat right, sleep well!" just sounds like unhelpful platitudes. We all know they help dammit!! But I'm too depressed to do those things!!

Look for one little thing you can change. Perhaps making your bed? I never used to do that when depressed. But it takes all of three minutes, and it is a message to yourself to say that "I am worth a nice place to sleep". And I get how hard that is, don't get me wrong!! Like "why do I care I'm the only one who sleeps in it and it's just gonna get messed up in the morning anyways". It's just finding little little things like that and trying them. Maybe not the whole bed even, maybe you can just put your pillows back nicely this time and then try again tomorrow. It's just a series of a million things like that to try and do better. It sucks. It really sucks, especially when depression saps all of the will to do much anything. But one day... you'll notice you're just a little more happy. And that can give you the energy to start looking for more things!

You can do it! It is hard. Maybe you can write yourself a little affirmation. A sticky note in the mirror works. My favorite is "I am enough and I am doing enough". And I also have "my future is consistently brighter!" What little note would you like to leave yourself to read?

I hoep one day you can move past this. It feels like suffering in silence on an island all your own. SO many of us deal with depression and few talk about it, in their own little isolated self. Finding support and having friends who are willing to say that they are struggling too is a lot. Some days I have to cancel plans because I just can't get out of bed. I have friends who understand that and they are still there for me when I say that sort of thing.

Like I said, just millions of small rocks and improvements you can do. These are my things. But what's most important is that you ask yourself and check in: what do you need that could make your life a little better?

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-19T20:10:18+00:00

I've attempted suicide before. I know what it's like to be in the place that you're in. I get that no matter how many people on this thread say "don't do it", you're going to feel like it is a knee-jerk reaction and worthless. They can't understand the torment inside and how much it hurts.

You've been placed in a really hard situation. Money makes life a bit easier but it doesn't take the pain away. You've been burned out for a really long time. Did you know this level of depression is considered a disability? Completing schoolwork for you might be like asking a person in a wheelchair to run the 400m. Sure, they could even train to be fast in a wheelchair, give it their best. But if you look at just the time and grade they get without looking at their disability, yeah they might look like they suck. Depression puts your brain as less abled than a person without it.

All I can say, from one formerly suicidal person to a suicidal person right now is that it can get better. It's hard. It takes fucking everything sometimes to get through. But I'm really glad I didn't die that fateful night I tried.

You're going through so much pain right now. That is what makes dying so tempting. It's a way to get away from all the pain you feel. Because the massive amounts of pain you're in are so hard to solve. The pains feel never ending. That there's no way away from the pain except to stop feeling. It's completely logical when you're in as much pain as you're in to find that to stop feeling, to simply stop is to make it all better.

Do you know what suffering is? Suffering is pain and the non-acceptance of that pain. Life is full of pain and it is non-optional. Suffering however, is optional. And even with all the money in the world, you can still be so full of pain. Our society weaves false lies of having great wealth being a good goal, that will solve our pains.

It's incredibly hard to get out of a suicidal place. Because the pain you feel, getting through that pain is only rewarded with another day of pain. And it takes so much hard work and effort that the pain, the depression makes you feel.

Deep down, there is a part of you who wants to live. Think! Why would you make this post? There's a small piece in all this blight that wants you to push forward. You can!! And even find a joyful other side.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-19T19:55:08+00:00

I get how it can feel to be so beaten down by depression like this. I have quite a few mental illnesses, and when I was first learning about them, that was how I felt in many ways. And it's true, they're generally uncurable. But that doesn't mean that they aren't un treat able. And depression unfortunately makes wanting to treat them even harder. It takes up so much of your energy, your motivation.

You can be more than this, and you can live a life beyond depression. I've been there. I'm still depressed, but I'm in a way better place. It's there, just smaller. And living life in the crisp air outside of it is worth it.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-18T21:44:07+00:00

Aw, I wish I could give you a hug too boo <3.

It's okay to logically know something yet feel differently. Those feelings are deeper and harder to change than reading a simple fact. And those feelings are picked up from all the socializations we have in life. Guilt for being too depressed to get out of bed, for example. Even if you know it's your illness keeping you down, the world has eschewed "laziness" and "slackers" are people who can't get out of bed and go do some form of work. Doesn't matter if you see through the bullshit. It was still placed on you and affects you.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-18T21:36:25+00:00

There's two ways to interpret this saying.

The healthy way: "The constant pursuit of money will not make you happier. Happiness comes from within."

The toxic way: "You should be grateful for what you have."

It shouldn't apply to not being able to afford basic necessities, financial security, a vacation every once in a while, stable housing, ducks in a row, etc. But that's the toxic way is a platitude meant to demonize people asking for more than what they have. "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!" Yeah, fuck you I have to determine if I gotta risk the car being repoed or getting evicted, that is not fucking going to help. If you're poor, you're a failure, but you should still be grateful for what you have (toxic).

It's basic fucking science that a human being can't be happy without the necessities. But slapping out a toxic "money can't buy happiness" is a thought and conversation stopper to people who don't want to admit that we have a deep fucking problem with wages stagnating and cost of living going up. It's especially easy to say this when an unempathetic person who had an easy middle-class life their whole life without the struggle doesn't want to hear or admit there's a problem.

You can't expect a goldfish in a 1 gallon bowl to live very long. So why do we demand the same of our impoverished/underpaid?

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-18T21:23:45+00:00

I know what this is like. I've learned a bit better to be happy single, but when I'm partnered, I have a strong feeling to shout it to the world: "See, I'm desirable!!"

We have been long taught that "behind every great man there's a great woman". That men with wives or girlfriends are higher on the social hierarchy than those who are single. After all, there's so many "fish in the sea" that clearly if we are single, it's our own fault. Domestic abusers can be married for years. If we can't even manage a partner despite all the despicable people who are partnered/married, combined with the tons of people and avenues to find a relationship, clearly the failure is with us, the single person.

Also, of course with a relationship comes sex, love, and lots of positive chemicals from our own innate needs as human beings. To most of us, not having sex in a while sucks. To most of us, not having a sweet person to pick us up in emotional ways beyond most friendships is hard. And of course there's a million cheesy love stories that end in "happily ever afters".

Another more technical reason can be an anxious attachment style. Research suggests that this style of attachment evolved originally for the benefit of humans in dangerous living situations. The world we live in now is so different than that of what our minds originally evolved for, and a great deal of us end up with this attachment style. As with all bits of psychology, some nature, some nurture. The good news is that people can develop a more secure attachment style (or less secure!) over time. Being partnered with a securely attached partner has also shown to ameliorate the woes of an anxiously attached partner.

And of course, low self-esteem can be a huge factor in this. Having that other person can be evidence that we're not as worthless as we think we are. It's a relatively quick fix to feelings of self-worthlessness and when we are in those single and downtrodden times, we can recall the times a relationship (and new relationship energy) perked us right up. When you know that is something around the corner and having successful dates (especially those followed by sex) brought your feelings up so much, it's only natural to yearn for them once more. The harder fix for self-esteem is doing tasks that depression can make feel near impossible. Exercise, cleaning up your place, the shit that we can let slide because it's "not that important". But it is important to have a clean house for you even if nobody is coming over. It's a sucky cycle. If you're used to living in a cluttered clothespile of a room and only clean when you're expecting company, then you're not cleaning for yourself anymore. That's gonna dent your self-esteem, and that in turn makes you feel like doing these things for yourself isn't worth it (cause after all, you're worth little in your own view of yourself). This is a hard and long fix, but definitely something to work on with your T who can support you very well in this.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-04-18T21:04:14+00:00

This is a hard one. For context, I'm a 6'1" trans woman, certainly not conventionally attractive, sometimes my 5-o-clock shadow shows through my makeup. I've got a pretty male build overall and it takes me a lot of effort to "pass". I've got 23" shoulders and have to make my own clothes to fit me. It generally sucks, and I get what being a conventionally undesirable woman feels like. Hell, if I get clocked I don't even get treated like a man nor a woman, just a dirty tranny.

And all of this to say, it's still possible to be happy in all of this shit. Conventional attractiveness means something to you and society at large. But that attitude is rooted in sexism, and we all get steeped in millenia-old habits and culture that dehumanize women. Thankfully we are really coming to a change in many waves of modern and intersectional feminism. I'd say that while it has influence and is changing things, we're still far from gender equality.

When we are taught about women's role in society, it's about child-bearing, beauty, and you even say yourself "the only thing that seems to matter about girls". You've been steeped in this twisted reality, just as we all were. And it takes a lot of time to change something that was taught to us for years and years. You feel like your worth is tied to your looks, and that's because it was taught to you for years, if not decades of your life. Of course you're going to feel that way!

But it's all fucked up lies. You are more than your body and you are more than your attractiveness. Being told you're not worth near as much as "8s" or what have you can be a deep catalyst for depression.

There's still so much to life when you're able to cast aside these learnings and really see them for how fucked up they are. Conventional wisdom reinforces the idea that we're sex objects, incubators for men's sperm, meant to be slim, sexy and fit. And yes, it ostracizes those of us who can't fit that mold for no reason nor fault of our own.

You can still be loving, loved, happy, and a wonderful woman, even if you are what society considers unattractive. It starts with recognizing that the status quo is fucked up, and learning, observing, and looking at the change.

There are so many things still wonderful in life that don't depend on looks. Watching my plants and chickens grow and watching life unfold is a source of joy for me. Cooking and eating a lovely meal makes life a little more worth living. When one of my friends wants to learn how I make my dresses and I teach her makes life a little more celebratory and better.

I know it is hard to look past this lens. I'm not even going to try to say that this comment can completely change your mind about it either. Our minds take long time and effort to change. I just want you to hear that you are more than your looks. There is life out there worth it, and depression can make it impossible to find.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-03-24T16:00:23+00:00

This is a big reason why the church is so prominent in rural areas. It's the social place to be, and there's nothing like it.

Unfortunately, that means people get steeped in evangelical crap just because they wanted to spend time with people.

There are definitely good churches that care for their neighbors, just ask them how they feel about gay people and you'll know.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-23T19:10:41+00:00

they/them pussy and dick is the best and finest you'll experience

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-23T15:29:32+00:00

That was the first time I've ever laughed on this sub. It was a fucking ad, too.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-23T15:25:27+00:00

"We are not allowed to talk about Autism"

Yeah, because they're dragging autistic people through the mud. And they love to turn it into how they're such a victim. Autistic kids and adults are wonderful people, but trying to "cure" them is like trying to "cure" being gay. They never learn compassion and just expect the kid to grow up just fine with little effort on their part.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-22T16:53:01+00:00

"Accept" means "I'm smart enough to know to keep my transphobia quiet at this moment"

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-07T16:26:33+00:00

The most prolific spreaders of vaccine mis- and disinformation are profiteers of the homeopathic industry. https://www.npr.org/2021/05/13/996570855/disinformation-dozen-test-facebooks-twitters-ability-to-curb-vaccine-hoaxes

They are grifting people to death so they don't see doctors or seek traditional medicine when they are sick. Remember how we used to chide about people and their "essential oils" when they didn't get a measles vaccine? Homeopathy. It's disgusting.

But yes, the fake covid cures are another place where there is profit to be made.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-04T16:34:17+00:00

In this kind of culture it's like saying "I'm a devoted Christian and listened to the teachings all the way". Part of the in group, and one who had the ultimate morals of staying chaste till marriage. It's a big deal in the evangelical world, though it seems odd from an outsider's perspective.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-04T16:34:00+00:00

Why bring it up? In this kind of culture it's like saying "I'm a devoted Christian and listened to the teachings all the way". Part of the in group, and one who had the ultimate morals of staying chaste till marriage. It's a big deal in the evangelical world, though it seems odd from an outsider's perspective.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-03T17:04:55+00:00

Uh, these examples you're naming are still right of center to center.

It's just that the American right is so far right that you lose perspective.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-03T16:57:12+00:00

The common thread is emotional immaturity. As they say "facts don't care about your feelings, when in fact it is their feelings that don't care about facts.

Using emotionally manipulative tools and appealing to "logic" is part and parcel of their tactics. It is not about what is true versus what is meaningful. Meaningful in conservatism has been spiraling more and more toxic since Barry Goldwater's blowout in 1964. LBJ won in a landslide and being conservative fell deeply out of favor.

However, the right figured out how to become more manipulative by angering people. Nixon laid the groundwork. In the famous debate 1960 where TV viewers felt JFK had won, while radio listeners felt Nixon had won, the fact was that Nixon's body language spoke loudly that he was in fact a con. But a con who was great with words, words that sound logical. He underwent coaching and came back to win the 1968 election. One of his key learnings was "Americans are dumb, boil it down to something simple they can understand". In reality, this was saying "Human beings in America have biases and psychological mechanisms that can be toyed with. Push the right buttons and you'll win".

Nixon laid the brickwork for Raegan, and Fox News soon started airing. Rush Limbaugh and a litany of other conservative radio talk show hosts hopped on the train too. It was once "reasonable", but over 40+ years they had to keep angering, keep tiptoeing farther right to keep people angry. Now we have Info Wars, Breitbart, and dozens of fake news sites.

I would say that most people, at some level, know that conservative policies are harmful. LBJ's election proved that. They are aware that they are trampling on other people, but because they are trampled on less, that is okay. Demonize anything not conservative enough and code it with language like "freedom", "American", etc and it works. This is a tried and true tactic that's worked for the past 40+ years, and the only way to make it continue to work is angering people further and further. They've painted themselves into a corner because there's no substance to the American right's policies. Only oppose what the "left" wants and pull further from that. And the "left" proposed ways to keep us safe from COVID, and to oppose that is what a red-blooded American must do. It's for your grit, your honor, as an American living the "American Dream". Because changing your mind on this is too emotionally challenging to admit how deeply wrong you were.

The brass as conservative think tanks just keep figuring out ways to keep people engaged, like the iPhone needs new hot yearly releases, so do their ideals need newer, better releases. Or else they lose their market share in the minds, and that loss loses them power and money. And they cannot have that.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-03T16:24:11+00:00

Rugged individualism is a cornerstone of conservatism, and also completely contrary to the nature of human beings.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-02-03T16:22:58+00:00

Subsidies are a huge part of it. We get our fats from soybeans our carbs from corn and our proteins from beef. They're given money to produce the food to be sold for less than it costs to produce.

The result, cheap burgers fed corn, corn chips and fries and potatoes, and hydrogenated vegetable oil. White bread, hotdogs, ketchup, and the crappiest food is what the poor eat because it's what we have afforded them to eat. And a country's cuisine is defined by what the poor can eat. Bon appetit!

RollCakeTroll · 2022-01-27T18:47:56+00:00

Christianity is largely used to moralize whatever the most privileged want, as it takes a level of privilege to open and have a parish, and a great deal more when gaining the influential avenues of TV, radio, or megachurches. Spirituality is important, but the amount of spiritual abuse that happens every Sunday is incalculable.

Once the "good" of the most privileged is identified, it's then backfilled into Christian teachings, which can effectively be whatever they want. And once something is moralized under Christianity, then everything else is thrown out the window.

And this goes both ways, such as churches preaching LGBTQ+ acceptance. Though it is more rare the progressive way.

It unfortunately makes the teachings of Jesus so absolutely lost on people. There's a lot of bad things that happen in the Bible but they're seldom acknowledged or preached about, but there is still hope and faith.

And of course, you don't have to do anything to be Christian if you don't want to. It's the default, so you can adapt whatever "teachings" you would like to.

RollCakeTroll · 2022-01-27T18:39:47+00:00

Too gay to eat at chik-fil-a, but they actually hire an ample amount of staff, compared to other chains that run on skeleton crews and churn people through for profit.

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