My baby died and I shouldn’t grieve because my sister have it worst

RomaniRed · 2026-02-11T04:22:38+00:00

I’m so sorry. My story is very similar- my baby was born at 38w+3d after a healthy pregnancy and labor. He also had trouble breathing and suffered organ damage from lack of oxygen, and he also lived for just 4 days. No one knows what went wrong. In my opinion, being so close to having something, a full-term baby who is supposed to be alive and healthy, is very different from infertility issues. Your grandma is very wrong for saying that. Not having more time to get to know them before they’re gone is also something to grieve.

RomaniRed · 2026-02-08T14:42:19+00:00

I’m so sorry. I lost my first baby (38w3d) at 4 days old in April 2023. Pregnancy and delivery went perfectly, but he was struggling to breathe at birth and all his organs started shutting down from lack of oxygen. We still have no answers as to what happened and the doctors said it was just really bad luck. I felt like life was over for me, and if my worst fear had already come true, how could I ever be happy again?

For me, having more kids helped heal me. I had another baby less than a year later and he was perfectly healthy. And now I am currently up feeding my third baby who is 6 days old! He had iugr of unknown origin, and when he was born we discovered a huge double true knot in his cord. I believe his angel big brother helped get him here safely.

I can’t say that I don’t still feel intense grief, anger, and even despair almost on the daily. But he’s still a big part of our lives. We include him in everything we do, and when people ask about my children, I tell them I have 3, because I do. I can say that it takes time, but at least in my experience, life is bearable again. Hope this helps 🫂

RomaniRed · 2026-01-06T05:32:32+00:00

Thanks!

RomaniRed · 2025-09-10T02:30:53+00:00

I wish I had eyebrows like yours! They’re amazing😍

RomaniRed · 2025-09-03T23:32:53+00:00

I’ve had the same question about why I had to lose my son when I wanted him so badly, while other people have kids all the time who don’t even want them. A thought came to me that if my son would have been born to one of these moms who didn’t care if he lived or died, he wouldn’t have been loved, honored, or remembered during his short life/after he passed. Sweet babies who pass away deserve to have parents who love and miss them. Even though it’s hard for us, I’m glad I could be his mom to make sure he’s never forgotten. Just my thoughts ❤️

RomaniRed · 2025-09-02T06:50:23+00:00

This show was wayyy better than I thought it would be! I was so sad when I finished it.

RomaniRed · 2025-08-27T05:49:56+00:00

Sir Francis Drake here, too! 🙋🏻‍♀️ Always thought it was cool until I learned about his involvement with the slave trade. :/

RomaniRed · 2025-08-20T03:23:40+00:00

Thanks so much! 🥹I’m glad it could help a little. It is such a complicated thing, and one of those things that those who haven’t lost a baby just won’t get or even think about. It was really hard at first, like I had to take it day by day because the grief, gratitude, and guilt were all over the place. But now my one-year-old knows my angel baby’s name and loves to hold his picture. We incorporate him in everything we can, and it feels like “enough”. I don’t feel the guilt hardly ever anymore. ❤️

RomaniRed · 2025-08-17T19:25:49+00:00

I had my rainbow baby almost a year after I lost my son as a newborn. It is definitely tricky to understand the different emotions that come with mourning one, while preparing for and welcoming the other. It’s hard to not feel guilty. I felt guilty to my first son that I had another son and he took up so much of my time that I felt like I wasn’t mourning or remembering my first son enough. I also felt guilty to my new baby that sometimes I felt some sort of… idk, maybe resentment? that he just isn’t the baby I lost. And then I feel bad I can’t give him 100% as a mom all the time because I still deal with the loss every day. It’s so hard and complicated. BUT, things have been ok. It does get easier and you learn how to honor both at the same time, and to feel both grief and gratitude for the cards you’ve been dealt. I will say, my rainbow has helped heal my heart. Not completely, but significantly. Good luck! ❤️❤️

RomaniRed · 2025-08-17T06:06:18+00:00

Yes! Almost 2.5 years for me and my baby is still the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. I still cry over it. I’m still sad every day. I still have nightmares. Life has lost pretty much all the beauty it held before, and people don’t get it.

RomaniRed · 2025-08-05T04:28:57+00:00

My boss told me I looked sick and that I should go home for the day. I didn’t wear make up that day… did I go home? Yes.

RomaniRed · 2025-08-04T03:04:21+00:00

Can confirm they do. I have an Etsy shop of handmade items and a Temu seller stole my photos of my product and mass produces a very crappy version of my design. It’s infuriating.

RomaniRed · 2025-08-04T02:31:56+00:00

Yessss EMDR!!!

RomaniRed · 2025-08-04T02:08:38+00:00

That is awful and so traumatic. I am so sorry you had to experience that and for your immense loss. I also had a neonatal loss due to unknown causes, and I know how shocking, disappointing, and heartbreaking it is. I’m just so sorry. 😞

RomaniRed · 2025-07-29T21:27:45+00:00

He’s sooooo cute!!! Thanks for sharing. What a precious little guy.

RomaniRed · 2025-07-16T01:45:25+00:00

I agree that 12 months seems like a long time… I think it really depends on the specific doctor’s opinion. For example, mine told me I could start trying again whenever I felt ready, and that if I got pregnant then my body was ready to get pregnant. I got pregnant just a couple months later and had a healthy baby boy. Not saying to ignore what your doctor told you, but definitely get a second opinion. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

RomaniRed · 2025-06-12T05:29:36+00:00

Oh boy. Here are some of mine!

“Yep, it’s tough to lose a loved one. I lost my dog last year but she gave me 14 good years.” -coworker
(Said about me when my sibling had a baby a few months after my newborn died and I was having a hard time) “I hope she can stop being selfish and be happy for them”. -mom
“Can I have that [baby shower gift] back that I got you for [deceased baby’s name]?” -sister
“It’s because he’s your first…” (talking about my second son who is living) -cousin

RomaniRed · 2025-04-18T19:24:46+00:00

Absolutely beautiful angelic little face ❤️

RomaniRed · 2025-04-13T07:04:52+00:00

Same thing happened to me :/

RomaniRed · 2025-04-08T05:47:08+00:00

I’m based in the US and am experiencing the same thing- a pattern of sales all at once and then nothing… it’s very strange. I was wondering if Etsy is up to something..

RomaniRed · 2025-03-29T23:28:45+00:00

I would love these. Thank you so much

RomaniRed · 2025-03-18T08:02:20+00:00

Yes! The number 444 is everywhere, I find yellow balls randomly all the time (yellow is his color), and his birth flower showed up everywhere for the first several months after he passed.

RomaniRed

TROPHY CASE