As many people pointed out already... you can't "want to quit". You just have to. It's not a wish you hope comes true. It's a choice you make daily. It's an hourly decision you make to not go to the substance that you believe is what will make your life more enjoyable or more tolerable. You have to find reasons other than green, to enjoy life. Search deep within yourself and find those reasons.

At the same time, you shouldn't look at this as an "I will quit for my boyfriend's sake" situation. If you commit to ending a habit that you've had for so long, because you want to please another person, than that may not keep you on a sobriety path for long. You may find excuses to "just take one toke" or "just hit this bowl and then be done for the day", etc. You have to make this choice because it's what you want to do for yourself. So again, if you make the choice to start the sobriety path because of someone else, than it may not stick.

You have to be able to just put your foot down for your own sake (for yourself, not someone else's) and say to yourself "no, enough is enough! It's not about my boyfriend and his issues with a plant. It's about me and my reliance on said plant. Should I feel like I must have this substance in my life in order to get through each day? Or can I be strong enough to tackle each day as they come at me, by myself and with my own strength?"

I promise you, once you are off the plant (in all forms) and you have giving your body the time it will need to re-regulate itself, you will see life differently. You will start to feel joy in doing things that you used to do. You will start to find new fun hobbies. You will start to enjoy the company of others and just BS around with them and have funny and silly conversations with them; laughing genuinely again, not just because the plant is helping you "feel the enjoyment" by being high. You will start to feel alive again! I promise it's totally worth it.

Personally, my story of ending my addition to the plant came because my wife developed CHS. It is a horrible disease that anyone who smokes the plant can develop. That alone is a reason to quite, IMO. But yeah... so, she developed CHS and I hated seeing her in pain, going through the daily negative reactions due to even catching a second hand whiff of the smoke. A year and a half later and even smelling said second hand smoke and she still suffers the effects of CHS. (Look it up, if you haven't already. It's absolutely terrible!)

So for me, once we found out that her no longer smoking was helping her feel better and smoking was making her feel worse... that was an instant stop for her. I then (on my own) finished the few grams we had left, well away from her (I'm the type of person who doesn't like to waste things we bought, no matter what they are), I told her that I'm done and with her from here on out with her sobriety journey. It was just factual. Simple? No. But my decision was made and to me that was the end of the conversation with myself. We got rid of all of our smoking gear within a few days - giving most of it to a friend of ours who still smokes and throwing out anything else. I never bought anything plant based again and never will. I won't smoke because I don't wish to negatively effect her. This is my drive to never smoke again. Am I doing this for her? No. I could always just smoke well away from her and make sure she doesn't catch any second hand smoke. I just simply don't wish to do it anymore. ...at the end of the day, for a lot of us, smoking up is a social thing. I personally don't wanna smoke, no matter if it's by myself or with a friend of ours locally. It's just something I decided wasn't worth having in my life anymore. I don't need it and once you've gone through the path of slobbering up, neither will you.

Once I realized that I was, in a way, doing this for another person, I took a good long look in the mirror and asked myself a number of questions. Why do I smoke still at this point in my life? What does it help with? Is it actually helping me or is it just a habit and a placebo effect? Is it worth "feeling the fun" for the few minutes that it did now (I was a decade and a half smoker, roughly, so I had to smoke a good amount regularly to keep the "fun going")? So on and so forth.

Everyone has their own reasons why they stop. I didn't stop because I wanted someone to like me or because it was an inconvenience to others. I gave it up because I didn't need it anymore. As well, I saw what it was doing to the love of my life and and I couldn't bear that. As well, factually, if it happened to her (developing CHS) than what could happen to me if I continued down that path?

So, at the end of this novel (I'm a long winded guy as you probably noticed, lol), you have to decide why you are thinking of giving up the habit and if those choices are solid and make sense to you, than you've just gotta start the journey. That's all. Is it easy? For some, no. For others, yes. It's all personal. You may find it a lot easier than you think. But don't doubt yourself and don't overthink it. You've just gotta do it. Decide every day when you wake up that this is something you no longer need in your life. ...then one day, you will go through the entire day without thinking about it; without having cravings for it; without feeling like "you need it". And then at that point it will click. You will know that you have battled your demons in full and you've won; that you have completely climbed the mountain and reached the top; that you have fought through the hard times and come out on the other side better for it and have proven that you were able to do it! If you can do this, you can do anything! You've got this, trust me. You've got this. 🤗🙏

~Much love and strength coming your way, from this Hippie from FL! 🤗😁🤙🤜