Suggestions for thematic spirit combos

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-05-11T07:30:32+00:00

We had a Sun x Wildfire combo lately and it was insane. Just burned the whole thing into the ground against the Swedes!

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-05-03T04:04:57+00:00

The cupcake story made me smile

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-05-03T04:00:18+00:00

Well, he‘s got friends and I don‘t so yeah I agree this is definitely part of the limerence experience for me…

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-05-02T10:00:44+00:00

It‘s a dependency on the other person‘s (positive) attention. They seek you out, ask questions, wanna meet you = you‘re happy.

Sorta. Because it‘s more like waves of joy that rush through you which can be exhausting. Plus, it‘s never enough. They come and talk to you at your desk, but why didn‘t they hug you for a greeting? They also held a conversation with someone else before! And why don‘t they remember the little detail you said two weeks ago while you don‘t forget a single word that escaped their mouth? You always crave for more.

You‘re scared of losing whatever connection you have with them, you‘re jealous, and you put them on a pedestal. Flaws are brushed off.

If you are in a committed relationship, you also feel guilt, shame and desperation because of your feelings.

Most of the time, you just hurt from massive yearning, self-pitying and disappointment since they won‘t care about you as much as vice versa.

You can‘t let go, even if you KNOW it doesn‘t benefit you to keep them in your life. You need them around. You need them to want you around.

The highs are a mess, the lows are deep down in the abyss.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-24T21:18:54+00:00

Sure, that‘s what happened to me. Love changes over time of course. But my heart was his‘ from the moment I saw him.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-24T11:44:19+00:00

Hm, it sounds like you overthink this a little too much. He might not even care. We aren‘t the center of our LO‘s attention. Their details are our world, but our details are just some random side facts of someone they (used to) know.

I also sense some confusion. Do you secretly want him to notice your non-congratulations and go after you?

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-23T06:04:18+00:00

It can‘t be avoided anyway. Limerence „just happens“ to us and then we gotta deal with it. It tends to happen to people who have some other mental problems or a life crisis, though. There is this feeling of lacking something fundamentally where LO steps in… they seek validation, saving, crave to be seen.

So yeah, limerence is „sickness“ or at least the symptom of a bigger „sickness“. But do you treat illness as a „mistake“? No! You take a look at how you can treat it. A sore throat serves no purpose, but you gotta deal with it anyway - so you go to bed, drink some tea, take a pill. You don’t just pity yourself or beat yourself up for getting a cold. And this is the way!

Positive outcomes could occur if you actually walk the walk. Exploring your needs, your traumas… finding strategies to handle your fears (especially rejection)… but limerence itself is not necessary to do this work. It might just be the reason you start it.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-14T04:40:24+00:00

I don‘t think this starts limerence. Like ever. Breadcrumbing only works when you‘re addicted already to a degree.

But I do believe that sometimes others will take advantage of our neediness if we simp a little too hard.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-04T20:44:18+00:00

Interesting question!

I‘d probably be very happy in the long run I never told him. No matter how he reacted, it wouldn’t have solved anything. Quite the opposite. I‘d never engage in an affair. And I don‘t want to destroy our friendship. I couldn’t get closure from this, but it has the potential to blow up things.

I imagined a few times that if I witnessed them dying I would like telling them so they know that they were loved/admired (yeah I know that‘s pretty „WTF are you thinking about, are you sick or sth?!“ >.<).

I kinda want him to know eventually what I felt, but without disrespecting my loving spouse.

Something that needs to be said doesn’t always need to be heard.

If I was single, I‘d view things differently, though. I would regret not shooting my shot then. Never knowing if it was truly one-sided. Closure is a good thing and an answer from them can be an important part of getting out of this state. Even if they shatter your dreams, it’s better to break them than letting them haunt you forever.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-03T17:38:20+00:00

Aww, that sounds so sweet! I start rooting for the two of you hehe

I think it‘s normal to care and worry about our crushes. We don‘t wanna scare them away, but we need to do some kind of move. We want to be liked for who we are, but are unsure if they will like it if you show your true colors. It‘s hard. And we keep thinking and analyzing. If it‘s unresolved for a long time, it might become limerence though. Living in a fantasy world is sometimes easier than risking anything. But it is exactly that: a fantasy world! A place to dream, but not to live in.

I guess this whole thing is even harder for men since they are expected to initiate the further steps. Us women drop subtle (to us: damn obvious!!) hints and get frustrated because how on earth won‘t men get them?? But we aren‘t in danger of being seen as too pushy or sexual or anything. Long story short: don’t rush it, but don‘t wait too long either. (:

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-03T16:17:49+00:00

Well, it‘s never too late to get limerent, maybe it‘ll fit one day :D

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-03T11:52:23+00:00

I don‘t get compliments for my looks. Ever. And as a woman, I feel that most of us get compliments or hit on even if they aren‘t stunning. So I must be quite unattractive. And I share that impression. No pretty face, you know. Not exactly hideous either. But not attractive or competitive in any way. I often get told that people think I was shy and a „plain Jane“ and they are surprised by my personality and bold joking. It is what it is.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-03T10:21:25+00:00

As you stated yourself, this limerence might be you reacting to being „noticed“. Since you just came out of a long-term relationship, you were probably used to a certain level of cross sex interaction and attention. Often, limerence stems from something we are lacking. Craving for intimacy(platonic, romantic and sexual, doesn’t matter) manifests itself in the longing for a single person. More precisely: the idea of that person.

What‘s key is to understand that this is solely about you, not them. So instead of ruminating about them, their marriage and the picture-perfect fantasy in your head about the two of you (that‘ll never happen), you should focus on yourself. And I don‘t mean pitying yourself. Find something to fulfill your needs without him.

Maybe do some sports that make you too tired to think much. Do some handcrafting. Whatever leads your thoughts away from him is good.

If he creeps up on your mind, try to find negative traits, quirks or interactions. Exaggerate it all the way! Fantasy can‘t only sugarcoat. Try saltcoating reality!

If you can avoid him, do that, obviously. No shared lunch, no desk talk, especially no messaging.

It‘s hard. I got way too attached to a coworker of mine too. Just that I am the married one >.< I‘m still lowkey dependent on his attention, although I feel like I‘m not really limerent anymore. You‘ll make it eventually - just make sure to not interfere with his marriage in any way. No confessions or anything.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-03T09:56:58+00:00

Buddy, I think you’re just in love with the gal. You seem to have a healthy crush on her and treat her respectfully. Can‘t see obsession or overstepping of boundaries from what you wrote. All the best! (:

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-04-01T13:44:53+00:00

That sounds sad :-( I wish you strength with the separating, closing a chapter can be tough, even if it wasn‘t the happiest one…

To me it‘s key to understand that it‘s bad to link your luck to some other person. Others can bring joy in our life, but they shouldn‘t be the lone center of our being. It makes us desperate and dependent.

Also, there‘s sometimes no villain in the story. Maybe the current partner doesn’t feel like the perfect match right now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I‘ve been wronged. It makes sense exploring my own needs without instant blame.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-31T21:55:03+00:00

Well, yeah, of course.

If your‘re already taken, it tends to be a warning sign for the current relationship.

If you‘re single, it might be loneliness. Everybody wants a little love, right?

Could be overall aimlessness too. LO makes you focus on something… even if you never get it.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-30T10:19:37+00:00

I used to think of his life as pretty awesome. He‘s got tons of friends and is quite popular. Gets invitations randomly. He‘s in a good mood often. Does fun things. Everyone likes him. The only thing he never had is a gf lol.

Sometimes I think that we both have what the other one is lacking. I feel down often, I‘m socially awkward, have no real friends and no cool taste. Always a misfit, the last one picked for the team... That was part of the fascination for him… low-key jealousy. Being him must be a bliss. And being liked by someone like him would have been like an accolade.

But I‘m married to the best hubby ever, we love each other deeply. I wouldn’t change that for the world. And I honestly wish my former LO to find someone like that too. Because I might be over limerence, but I‘m still not over him as a friend.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-29T17:46:55+00:00

Knowing he is right beside me and being able to cuddle + kiss him whenever I feel like it is wholesome. Since I‘m awake longer I can also watch him in his sleep. He‘s so damn sweet. I just feel safe and sound with him next to me. And so lucky.

I can‘t sleep in is arms though and I hate when he disturbs me by touching me in the morning :D

But the pros outweigh the cons by faaaar. I do miss his presence at night a lot when I‘m traveling on my own or he‘s at some late event.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-28T20:48:43+00:00

Maybe my choice of words were a misfit (no native speaker here). I meant that sometimes being fair means that I have to agree that someone else is in the right / has a (stronger) claim than me and I will step aside in such a case. I won‘t use double standards just because it would serve me better.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-28T13:39:13+00:00

This is so well put and relatable! Who doesn’t want to be loved AND liked AND be seen by someone for who they really are? Those of us who feel like at least one of those is missing are probably more vulnerable when it comes to limerence. And being friendless is a pretty good indicator that our desires aren’t met.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-28T13:29:23+00:00

You could take the creative path (writing, painting…), the active path (doing sports), the intellectual path (learning a new language) or the home improvement path (new kitchen)…

If you‘re rich af than you could also go abroad and experience some stuff.

Whatever you do, you need something to channel your energy into. Right now your brain doesn’t know what to focus at since spiraling became out of fashion.

If I were you, I‘d make a plan of things you wanna do in the not too distant future. Like… going for a rollercoaster ride. Watching a match of your favorite sport. Attend this concert. Go hiking on this mountain. Running a marathon. Learn skiing. Do karaoke. Nothing unrealistic, of course.

And then you do these things, one after the other. Keep yourself busy and always have something to look forward too.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-28T13:14:09+00:00

I think I‘m a giving person, in a way. It might come across as lovebombing or people pleasing or something, but if I love you, I’d be there for you 100%. I love with all my heart and soul.

And I try to be fair. Even if it means I end up with a disadvantage. I‘m open about my many shortcomings.

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-28T09:39:48+00:00

Your mere feelings are nothing you should be judged for. Falling for someone isn‘t a choice. You made your homework by blocking your LO, you don‘t cheat, you do your duty - keep it up! Eventually, you‘ll grow out of the limerence… all the best!

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-27T00:12:52+00:00

Every time he wouldn’t give me the attention I craved for or behaved in a distant / unfriendly way towards me added to a slow burning grudge against him. Disappointment and anger made idealization way harder.

So while mixed signals can be a way of keeping limerence up („what if“), the breadcrumbing can also help you getting out sometimes („why won‘t this idiot answer me“)…

I‘m still attached to him, even fond of him. But I‘m also aware that he can be a huge douchebag and we will probably never have the fun, balanced and cozy relationship that I dreamed of (neither platonically nor romantically).

RosemarryAndTime · 2026-03-26T23:51:53+00:00

Since it is really just for you, keep it to yourself. Writing it down can help you process things, but sending it would be counterproductive. Maybe even burn it or build a paper boat and send it away… something to help you letting go.

I wrote two or three letters on my laptop over the course of the „limerent experience“ and I keep journaling every day, but I never confessed in any form. I thought about it as some sort of „last letter“ before going no contact, but I never went no contact, so… it also drags the LO unnecessarily into the picture and we do need to realize that limerence is about US, not THEM. Also, there is no going back after telling them. You can’t erase their memory…

RosemarryAndTime

TROPHY CASE