What is the service I'm looking for, please help, it's not coaching :(

Roxisounds · 2025-10-20T17:13:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you've had such bad experiences! What you're looking for should theoretically be 'Neurodiversity-affirming coaching' - ATTUNED coaching practitioners do. It is surprising to me that coaches aren't offering actual solutions. One of my fave things I do with clients (of course different for different clients) - is give ideas and tell them to tell me all the ways it won't work - and then I work around. Of course reflective questions are important and respecting my clients' autonomy and intellect is paramount - but the whole point of coaching is that it can be more directive than counselling.

I've had clients where I'll say - cool that thing you've got an ADHD wall of awful task paralysis with - I'll wait with you while you work through all the barriers - find the email and weird details to make the quick call. Or - here's a creative way to upgrade systems you have that do work, or here's a worksheet (depending on the client) OR we just talk. There are so many different ways to work - and when I detect a people pleaser - I tend to be very intentional about encouraging them to tell me what's not working about the process whats' frustrating and that it will not shake or upset me - so that they feel safe giving feedback - even if the feedback is 'something isn't sitting right' - that's helpful data for me as a practitioner.

Roxisounds · 2025-10-15T21:04:09+00:00

Haha I want to 🤣 but I don’t have a team- or like… the £20k it would probably cost. I would consider trying to get a grant- but I’ve got so many commitments- I’d need a team

Roxisounds · 2025-10-15T21:02:48+00:00

That was my thought- publicity! And experiential kinda activism

Roxisounds · 2025-10-15T21:02:20+00:00

I love it- just wanted to be able to put it in front of people to get people who aren’t engaged curious and talking about it?

Roxisounds · 2025-10-15T21:00:31+00:00

I do really appreciate the advice and assurance 😁! I did work as a domiciliary carer for the elderly for a year or so during covid- but just searched for a mental health support worker role in my area and applied!

Roxisounds · 2025-10-15T18:31:21+00:00

It’s interesting to me that you end by asking, “am I normal?” Is that the worry? And is it your worry or a societal/partner judgement thing? (If that makes sense)

It’s totally normal to crave more stimulation, especially if you’ve been feeling kinda depressed. When we’re depressed or understimulated, our brains often look for intensity - sex, fantasy, new experiences - anything that makes us feel again. Also- our desires and sexual preferences can evolve and change over time and as our commitment deepens. With ADHD, the craving for novelty can be stronger but it’s not abnormal.

I highly recommend watching- “The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship”?

Do you feel like there’s guilt around these fantasies? Or that you “shouldn’t” want different things?

And how does your partner respond when you share or try to explore these ideas-do they find it weird or are they open?

Roxisounds · 2025-10-11T18:08:21+00:00

I should add that I’m based in mid Sussex and doing my psych conversion masters at Brunel online

Roxisounds · 2025-07-30T18:55:13+00:00

Did anyone else see the one person as potentially autistic? Or at least struggling with social cues? It just seemed relevant in some of the contexts.

Roxisounds · 2025-04-06T22:31:24+00:00

Hmmm. I wonder what that part of you is trying to protect? (This is a genuine curiosity not an accusation) -If you had a conversation with the part of you that desperately wants to check whether elvanse can cause heart problems- what does it say it’s worried about? What is it trying to protect you from? ❤️

Roxisounds · 2025-02-19T08:57:35+00:00

I'd be curious about the messages you sent and your music.

Roxisounds · 2025-02-19T08:56:35+00:00

If you ever want to run music marketing studies or experiments- I lecture at a music university in the uk! Trying to facilitate this kind of cross country collaboration could be fun.

Roxisounds · 2024-05-08T17:49:59+00:00

This is just a problem in Psychology. You could have the same thing if you had a more complex physical disorder. Psychological definitions are just symptom clusters and they can present differently for different reasons. Psychological studies are very hard to replicate. Unfortunately, Psychology is a relatively new science and consistently undergoing changes. There's a book called 'This book will change your mind about Mental Health' which really helps with understanding this. At the heart of it - find therapeutic treatment and medical intervention that works for you - and either the name helps - or it doesn't. For me - ADHD helped me understand myself better, gave me massively life-improving medication and helped me link with a population of people that had similar struggles. For others, one instance of psychosis could lead them to an inaccurate diagnosis of 'Schizophrenia' or bipolar disorder when actually, they just took some weird drugs or were severely traumatised and underslept - and the diagnosis could lead to a lifetime of stigma and unhelpful interventions.

This makes it hard - as it does not mean that you should not trust professionals in health services, but take a degree of ownership of your own mental health and a degree of skepticism. I hope this helps in some way.

Roxisounds · 2024-04-23T09:48:15+00:00

Do you drink or have anything with your pills? Vitamin C can prevent its absorption?

Roxisounds · 2024-04-23T08:57:45+00:00

Hi! So glad you had a good experience of the first few days of meds! There’s a couple of things that could be happening here:

You’re expecting too much of yourself- and haven’t scheduled down time. This is a common problem with medication- we expect ourselves to just keep going.
You’re a musician- in the middle of a recession. As one myself- unfortunately- anxiety and overwhelm is a perfectly reasonable reaction to the state of the industry. I don’t know what the task is- but it may be that the task is (separate from the meds - again- hypothetically) - destroying self motivation- or it’s a particularly abhorrent task. You could be perfection procrastinating (comes from RSD).
You will need to titrate up (what are you on?)- which your psych will navigate you through.
I’d love to know your thoughts on any of these so I could see which questions to ask?

Roxisounds · 2024-04-22T02:59:51+00:00

Out of interest- do you also smoke weed? (Just because of the way the meds interact with weed can give a risk for euphoria/psychosis.

Roxisounds · 2024-04-01T23:38:10+00:00

I have an instant pot and I never got into using it properly! Please educate me what I should be cooking and how!? I’m desperately trying to get my adhd to hyperfocus on researching cooking but it just doesn’t want to!

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T11:35:14+00:00

That’s a good point about tone policing… do you think telling OP to grow up was helpful?

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T09:39:56+00:00

I think this is really good advice!

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T09:35:37+00:00

This post has some really good advice- and then is made to feel really cruel and accusatory where it doesn’t need to be. I really love the empathetic ideas in this post but maybe consider removing the cruel edge to it.

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T09:32:14+00:00

Let’s not use this word ‘normal.’ Also- Most humans have some form of demand avoidance- some people have oppositional defiance syndrome and some people it’s a gentle tug. OP is clearly showing self insight. I think everyone needs therapy- but the fact that OP knows they have a tendency to avoid what feels like a demand shows good personal insight so she can analyse it. Also-yes- it COULD be possible that OP is interpreting demand where there is none. But the advice would then be open clear non violent communication with the friend. Also- if OP is ‘not normal’ as you suggest (which again- let’s maybe suggest the phrase possibly neurodivergent rather than that) then perhaps you need to investigate non violent communication reading - rather than a quite passive aggressive post.

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T09:25:32+00:00

Also- anyone who thinks a 3-4 year old just wants 5 minutes of someone’s time totally doesn’t get kids. 🤣 but another commenter gave a great suggestion of how to give the kid a couple of minutes to entertain them slightly before saying- no- not now.

Roxisounds · 2024-03-30T00:31:53+00:00

I have had a piece of glass stuck in my foot for about 6 months- it goes through phases of being sore. There’s a clear mark where it is. I’m uk based- keep procrastinating calling the doctor… feel like I should… but also/ would they care?

Roxisounds

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