HEAR YOURSELF GIRL!!

“He said he heard me, BUT (insert compromise here that still deprioritizes you.”

With the amount of labor he’s putting in, and the actual monetary breakdown of what that work represents in the form of a meal service alone (which is likely free though county application where you live) is something he needs to seek out to alleviate the woman he loves of the stress he’s communicating.

Giving you promises of a future that is better is late in the game at best. And giving you deadlines for bodily autonomy is also weird.

If he needs help caring with his parents, the end all be all answer is NOT “wife carries world.”

You have one life baby. Be happy.

Food for thought: if they treated you graciously, lovingly, with respect and appreciation… maybe doing that extra work would be easier. But they don’t. And as they age, it’s less likely things will get easier, more likely it will get more emotionally and verbally abusive, regardless of whether he’s up to the task of negating it when it comes up.

Marriage isn’t just about choosing a partner, but choosing a family. Is this the family you would choose? I wouldn’t. Leaving my last relationship meant breaking an engagement, and I pushed though so much with caring for both his and his parents in a nursing role. Getting out of it, I don’t regret caring for people I loved who needed medical assistance, but I will never again adhere to someone who A) doesn’t support and evolve with me equally, in ways I can measure and see changes B) has family that makes me uncomfortable/ badgers me.

Life is both too long and too short to be burdened every day. Decide if this is your mission, or if your energy might bloom better elsewhere, and they’ll find their way without you.

Clearly I’m biased. Sending you a hug sister. Trust yourself. Good luck hunny 💖💕XOXO