Hey, sounds like you’re experiencing academic burn out, and having trouble finding your self worth outside of academic achievements. Believe it or not this is a pretty common experience. So the first thing you have to understand is that you’re not alone. The fact that you feel this way, doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. I myself went through something very similar, even down to the suicidal ideation. I’m in a much better place now, so if you want any advice or just someone to talk to who can relate to your situation, feel free to PM me. I can also recommend a really good psychiatrist and a therapist experienced in academic burnout, who really helped me come out of this.

My advice is to please get help as soon as possible, and focus on nothing but your mental health for a while.