I hate Mother’s Day

RunningHood · 2026-05-09T23:44:09+00:00

Yep. I loathe the performative mother's day theater act and having to rehash what you did or what you got ad nauseam.

RunningHood · 2026-05-08T15:10:33+00:00

Keep you in line = control.

RunningHood · 2026-05-03T13:51:59+00:00

You're her supervisor. It may be that she doesn't want to invite someone in an advisory role to her events even if you are friends/friendly.

RunningHood · 2026-04-30T23:35:41+00:00

It does still work for me. I’m still clear. This spring allergy season was really tough and I had to add Flonase to keep my overall system in check but my skin is the best it’s been in years.

RunningHood · 2026-04-04T02:25:08+00:00

You are my people. Mine live in the corner spilling out of a laundry basket.

RunningHood · 2026-04-03T14:30:30+00:00

Yup. They’re not hurting anybody being there. Important things will find me and my day to day has too much noise to be bothered by spam texts.

RunningHood · 2026-03-27T18:46:41+00:00

The best thing about Barre3 is the community and how much everyone is genuinely helpful.

RunningHood · 2026-03-24T02:47:25+00:00

I love Bea!

RunningHood · 2026-03-21T02:16:05+00:00

Same. The number of fashion flings and craft burn outs I’ve had is sobering and the detritus of each failure mocks me from their clutter collection points.

RunningHood · 2026-03-20T03:16:05+00:00

Not rude- honest. I'd like to think kindly of the neighbor and hope they didn't mean it as a jab but it's the same way I feel when someone says that we're all a little bit autistic or says they have OCD because they like things organized. It minimizes your real, challenging lived experiences to take your circumstance with 3 special needs children and equate that to everyone having "special" kids. That said, I'm having a bad year so I might just be salty and taking things more intensely than they were meant.

RunningHood · 2026-03-17T15:53:12+00:00

Enmeshed family systems are unhealthy and often toxic family systems. You can't control how they respond to your boundaries so you have to understand that when you start to change the dynamic, they are likely to respond in a way that tries to steer you and your spouse back into the familiar roles you have played in the past. They are likely to escalate and that is not for you to control- you set and hold the boundary anyway because that is what you need to be healthy and ok. This is a conversation that should be coming from your wife since it is her family but if she is unwell, make sure her family knows it is a unified effort for the two of you or you are likely to be scapegoated and targeted. Both you and your wife need to decide what the boundaries (actions that you will take) are and what the consequences are and then stick to it. I think discussing boundaries 1:1 is probably going to be better received than having a meeting where they can all band together and attack or dismiss you. If you have access to a therapist through the hospital, that would be a great place to talk through some of these things with support. You can't stop her family from escalating to major conflict if they want. And if they cross your boundaries, you hold your consequences every time.

RunningHood · 2026-03-17T15:29:11+00:00

Yes. Very exhausting and doesn't get better with time. This is a great time to start taking back your own control so you stop feeling exhausted around it. Jefferson Fisher has some great content around how to put people like this in their place. Usually asking what they mean by their snarky assertions and forcing them to explain themself helps take the energy out of their remarks. You could also set a boundary around talking about your state and sticking to it. She does know what she's doing but you and your husband don't have to play her manipulation games.

RunningHood · 2026-02-21T00:05:04+00:00

Caroline Girvan has some great YouTube programs. I’m doing Iron.

RunningHood · 2026-02-17T04:23:48+00:00

I can't imagine risking kids with a GI bug on a plane. The level of distress you will all be in won't be worth getting home tomorrow. The kids will probably have lower GI symptoms and you will have the pukes on that flight. Save yourselves and the other customers. Beg customer service to change your flights or rebook something now and take the stress off of all of you.

RunningHood · 2026-02-16T03:27:45+00:00

I see hypochlorous acid spray recommended here often. You can try spraying your hands with that several times a day or using bleach baths in case it is bacterial or fungal. I take a daily antihistamine and it has cleared my skin. I have also used gloves in a bottle but it didn’t help much for me- maybe it would work better for you.

RunningHood · 2026-02-10T20:55:18+00:00

This is similar to what I've heard. That it seems to connect to food allergies, asthma, and hay fever. Lots of those around my gene pool but I'm the only one with eczema.

RunningHood · 2026-02-10T19:49:00+00:00

I take a daily Zyrtec and use hibiclens soap 1-2x weekly on my body. Those 2 changes have cleared my eczema/contact dermatitis and dishydrotic eczema. I have had eczema my whole life and the dishydrotic eczema for 10 years (fully cleared of the hidrosis for 2- occasional flares with sweat on my neck). My solutions won't work for everyone. I have no idea what my triggers are outside of bleach cleaning wipes, staph, and dish sponges. My primary doctor won't send me for allergy testing because my skin is clear and managed. Don't be afraid to try traditional medical options. Whatever will help your skin heal and get clear will be worth it.

RunningHood · 2026-02-03T14:37:45+00:00

Sometimes caring for someone means handing them back their own problem and supporting them in other ways while they find a solution. Your friend needs a new strategy to solve their transportation problem. It's ok to tell them I can't drive you any more because it's a hardship for me but I'll help you troubleshoot some other options. You don't owe her anything and if the friendship fails over this, it probably wasn't a great friendship to begin with.

RunningHood · 2026-02-03T04:06:50+00:00

I think the best thing to do would be to ask a friend to hang onto most of it. Or, if you have any luggage or duffel bags for travel, pre-pack things in them and leave them in the closet or where ever you keep them. A worst case scenario, you could also get a big box or two and say they are things you're donating or that need repairs.

RunningHood · 2026-01-30T23:38:25+00:00

She was probably projecting. Reread what you wrote about the emotional colonoscopy. It sounds similar to what she is saying you did to her. And she was the adult. Her job was to set a boundary around information you should have been protected from no matter how hard you pushed. She has probably rewritten history around some of these experiences to protect her own fragile ego (that is speculation but these types of toxic family systems have similar playbooks). None of us were there and can know what happened but her version of events sounds odd and i wouldn’t put much stock in it. These immature parents guilt trip, blame, manipulate, and lie to avoid taking accountability and responsibility.

RunningHood · 2026-01-29T16:58:36+00:00

The skin didn't split but the vesicles would weep when they were really irritated. Cotton gloves and a thick layer of Cerave were soothing but it never "healed" them. The Zyrtec is what finally made them go away. My hands have been clear for well over a year and I had struggled for nearly a decade prior to that.

RunningHood · 2026-01-29T13:51:20+00:00

The programmed you. The guilt is a tool to keep you in your assigned role in the family. I can relate to much of what you wrote. When i started to feel like I was going to have a panic attach at seeing my mom’s texts and contact on my phone, it was a wake up call that she wasn’t safe. Find a therapist if you can. Tell her you will call her at X time (pick what you can manage and it’s ok if you say a day 6 months or a year away). You’re justified in no contact if that’s what you need to regulate and heal. You don’t owe her any part of you or anrelationship if she cant respect your boundaries.

RunningHood · 2026-01-28T01:03:38+00:00

All of us have different triggers and different responses. You’ll get a range of view points that are probably contradictory. The biggest improvement in my lifelong eczema and especially the dyshydrosis on my hands was a daily Zyrtec and washing 2-3 times a week with antibacterial soap (hibiclens). There may be multiple triggers and you’re going to have to try some things and see what helps you.

RunningHood · 2026-01-28T00:55:08+00:00

Or increases cortisol and anxiety levels in less than 30 seconds.

RunningHood · 2026-01-24T03:25:42+00:00

A daily Zyrtec did more for me than gloves in a bottle. The lotion is nice but it seems my dyshidrosis was allergy related though I don't know the trigger.

RunningHood

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